Mortgage

[Leanne1191]

Hi just a question, my husband who cheated on me is now getting his own place with the woman he cheated on me with, I think they're buying, if he buys a house while we are still married am I entitled too it because we are married? He has changed his surname by deed poll but legally we are married?

@ElizabethofpeanutYorkies

You have lied on thread. We cannot help you.l if you are not honest.

What have I lied about?

@Leanne1191 all your other posts of the same dating back to last sumner.

Please just get divorced, secure legally your maint payments and rebuild your life. You have 3 children depending on you.

Please build new life for yourself and yr DC. Let your DH and how he treated you go. 50% of nothing is nothing . There is-nothing here for you to take apart from your dignity.

[quote ElizabethofpeanutYorkies]@Leanne1191 all your other posts of the same dating back to last sumner.

Please just get divorced, secure legally your maint payments and rebuild your life. You have 3 children depending on you.

Please build new life for yourself and yr DC. Let your DH and how he treated you go. 50% of nothing is nothing . There is-nothing here for you to take apart from your dignity. [/quote]
I have not lied about anything so to say I'm a liar is disgusting? Why the hell would I lie about stuff?

Everything I have said dating back to 6 months ago is true..... I really don't get what you mean.

My dignity? You are something else. I have been heart broken and treated awfully and your now spinning this around on me? What's disgusting is how you're calling me a liar and telling me just to move on for my 'dignity' when I was asking advice on something.

@Leanne1191
Yeah I think maybe he has saved some money to put towards the house and it will be in her name, she has been warned as she has told me she has been screwed over twice before, but you can't tell stupid can you? Can she then add him to the deeds after the mortgage is put in her name? Because I think they will prob end up doing it that way if possible.

So you want a claim in a house in his girlfriends name you are completely wasting your time if this is the case.

[quote ElizabethofpeanutYorkies]@Leanne1191 all your other posts of the same dating back to last sumner.

Please just get divorced, secure legally your maint payments and rebuild your life. You have 3 children depending on you.

Please build new life for yourself and yr DC. Let your DH and how he treated you go. 50% of nothing is nothing . There is-nothing here for you to take apart from your dignity. [/quote]
This is so true. It's not a dig, it's common sense.

When a relationship ends and you are the hurt party. It is sole crushing. When there is another women that has been 'picked' over you. Your self esteem is on the floor. Why her and not me. When they lie and cheat you realise your trust was misplaced and they took advantage of you. That hurts.

There isn't a hurt like it. You want them to feel your pain. But they won't. They are off living their best life. Whilst you are picking up the pieces and dealing with the everyday shit. It is the ultimate rejection.

You will heal. You have counselling. Gather support around you. Go as low contact with him as you can. Because all you are doing is feeding your anger. Don't let him make you this bitter person.

My ex left me for ow. 12 weeks later living together and having the kids eow. Playing happy families it hurts.

Few years later they are still together. I wish her well he is a manipulative liar. Has gone self employed so I get no child support. Even though he has a very good income. He clearly wants me to come asking. Or likes the idea of me struggling. I will give him neither. He has to look his children in the eyes and tell then he did all he could for them. They know. And will make their own choices when they are old enough.

You have to let go it isn't worth it. And it takes energy to stay angry. You need that energy to heal.

Get the divorce rolling. There are no shared assets. Get a hold arrangement order of you dear he won't bring the kids back.

If by some chance he is buying a house. It will be mortgaged. The bank own it not him. Maybe he saved £10k deposits say. You will spend that on legal fees.

Stop now. Just get on with your life. And pretend he is someone you use to know from somewhen and detach yourself from him.

[quote rwalker]@Leanne1191
Yeah I think maybe he has saved some money to put towards the house and it will be in her name, she has been warned as she has told me she has been screwed over twice before, but you can't tell stupid can you? Can she then add him to the deeds after the mortgage is put in her name? Because I think they will prob end up doing it that way if possible.

So you want a claim in a house in his girlfriends name you are completely wasting your time if this is the case.[/quote]
No people aren't getting the point I was asking a question, I know if it was in his gf name I can't I was asking if he did but he can't because he's married to me for one and he's not declared his earnings secondly and thirdly he has a crap credit score. I was just asking if I could if he did.

@unicornsarereal72

When a relationship ends and you are the hurt party. It is sole crushing. When there is another women that has been 'picked' over you. Your self esteem is on the floor. Why her and not me. When they lie and cheat you realise your trust was misplaced and they took advantage of you. That hurts.

There isn't a hurt like it. You want them to feel your pain. But they won't. They are off living their best life. Whilst you are picking up the pieces and dealing with the everyday shit. It is the ultimate rejection.

You will heal. You have counselling. Gather support around you. Go as low contact with him as you can. Because all you are doing is feeding your anger. Don't let him make you this bitter person.

My ex left me for ow. 12 weeks later living together and having the kids eow. Playing happy families it hurts.

Few years later they are still together. I wish her well he is a manipulative liar. Has gone self employed so I get no child support. Even though he has a very good income. He clearly wants me to come asking. Or likes the idea of me struggling. I will give him neither. He has to look his children in the eyes and tell then he did all he could for them. They know. And will make their own choices when they are old enough.

You have to let go it isn't worth it. And it takes energy to stay angry. You need that energy to heal.

Get the divorce rolling. There are no shared assets. Get a hold arrangement order of you dear he won't bring the kids back.

If by some chance he is buying a house. It will be mortgaged. The bank own it not him. Maybe he saved £10k deposits say. You will spend that on legal fees.

Stop now. Just get on with your life. And pretend he is someone you use to know from somewhen and detach yourself from him.

This is what I will do. I'm getting the help I need and I am getting stronger everyday. I will just move on. I've got plans for my future and the kids. I am just angry he don't want to pay for his children.

@Leanne1191 I know. I've not seen a penny for 2.5 years. He earns around £60k a year and is with his partner so they have a joint income (not that her income is relevant to the children but they easily have a good quality of life together). I don't. I have what I earn and some benefits and the children to provide for. I'm grateful and I get by. I have to be careful. I don't want anything for myself but I get upset that I can struggle when they both need new shoes. Eldest is adult size everything. Or both had to have school uniform in sept. I usually by bits here and there. Bit with schools closed they needed everything.

I have family who help me if I'm really stuck. I hate asking because their father should want to support his kids. But he doesn't. And I've asked. Sworn. Tried to guilt him. And got no where. So last year I decided just to stop. Every so often he says he will send some but it never materialised. I don't respond. He has to live with himself. And I hope that it makes him feel bad. But I'm not lowering myself to his level. That's what he wants. He wants to complain about his bitter ex. Making his life hard. Always asking for money. I'm asking him for nothing and will continue to do so. I have nothing to do with him. Other than confirming times to see the children. I ignore everything else.

He had every right to leave the relationship. He did it in a shitty way. He doesn't want to support the children. He stopped seeing them and stopped replying to messages on and off over the years. He has been and shouted at me on the door step for alienating him from the children. I have lent him money I didn't have never to see it again. He has behaved beyond badly. And I have the right to walk away from his drama. And have nothing to do with him. My well being is more important.

It is hard. But maintain your dignity.

Sorry that was long. But you get the idea.

[quote unicornsarereal72]@Leanne1191 I know. I've not seen a penny for 2.5 years. He earns around £60k a year and is with his partner so they have a joint income (not that her income is relevant to the children but they easily have a good quality of life together). I don't. I have what I earn and some benefits and the children to provide for. I'm grateful and I get by. I have to be careful. I don't want anything for myself but I get upset that I can struggle when they both need new shoes. Eldest is adult size everything. Or both had to have school uniform in sept. I usually by bits here and there. Bit with schools closed they needed everything.

I have family who help me if I'm really stuck. I hate asking because their father should want to support his kids. But he doesn't. And I've asked. Sworn. Tried to guilt him. And got no where. So last year I decided just to stop. Every so often he says he will send some but it never materialised. I don't respond. He has to live with himself. And I hope that it makes him feel bad. But I'm not lowering myself to his level. That's what he wants. He wants to complain about his bitter ex. Making his life hard. Always asking for money. I'm asking him for nothing and will continue to do so. I have nothing to do with him. Other than confirming times to see the children. I ignore everything else.

He had every right to leave the relationship. He did it in a shitty way. He doesn't want to support the children. He stopped seeing them and stopped replying to messages on and off over the years. He has been and shouted at me on the door step for alienating him from the children. I have lent him money I didn't have never to see it again. He has behaved beyond badly. And I have the right to walk away from his drama. And have nothing to do with him. My well being is more important.

It is hard. But maintain your dignity.

Sorry that was long. But you get the idea. [/quote]
Omg that's awful! I don't get how men can do that? They have these kids and don't want to pay for them then bugger off with their new partners and live the life of luxury!! It's actually disgusting.

This is what my ex is doing wants to see them more when he gets his own home which is fine but then maybe or maybe not buying a property with her, going on extravagant holidays with her, posh restaurants and high end hotels. It makes me sick being on benefits and struggling monthly.

Off course I'm going to have hatred and resentment for them both because he's proper screwed me over and has ruined soo much.

But your right. I need to stop with the anger and let them crack on with their fantastic lives which was based on lies at the start and throughout.

I have plans for my own career, I've been doing my maths and English as I want to go to university in September and do my nursing degree.

I'm so sorry you have been through a very similar situation and what an inspiration you are!!!

@Leanne1191 thank you. I just had to stop interacting with him. It achieved nothing and only affected my well being.

I'm so pleased to hear you have a plan for yourself and the children going forward. I'd of loved to of gone into nursing. Too old now. But wishing you all the luck you need.

You wouldn't get anything from a house he bought with someone else after you split if it went to court, married or not an and it won't matter to the court why you split. You need to sort the divorce now, go for half of joint assets (yours and his) and you might be able to use the fact that he's getting a new place as evidence that he has more money than he says if he tried to hide it. If he had anything from before you were married you're unlikely to get that either as only married a short time. Sorry but no use getting your hopes up.

OP it sounds like you are well rid. But if he has sad he doesnt work to avoid paying CMS, he couldnt possibly get a mortgage as he'd have had to prove his income to them in order to get a house? That part is confusing

Maybe its in the OW name

I would def move on as best you can, keep your chin up, earn your own money and you'll feel better for it in the long run