Mortgage

[Leanne1191]

Hi just a question, my husband who cheated on me is now getting his own place with the woman he cheated on me with, I think they're buying, if he buys a house while we are still married am I entitled too it because we are married? He has changed his surname by deed poll but legally we are married?

@WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo

If you have two children together then the relationship was considerably longer than 6 months I take it? The court in such circumstance particularly where there are children involved, will consider the entire length of the relationship or cohabiting, rather than just the term of the marriage.

I would get onto it asap and get the Form E filled out. The longer you delay the more chances he has to dispose of marital assets to his new partner. Just cite unreasonable behaviour in the divorce papers, too hard to bother with infidelity. Dont get the decree absolue before the financials are settled, as this leaves you financially exposed. Do file for the divorce first so you are the petitioner, then you can control the process and timings better.

We was together over 8 years

@ElizabethofpeanutYorkies

Op do you/did you own a property jointly during those 8 yrs? What is the status of that property now? How is he planing on funding his deposit on his new house? What was his reasoning for changing his name by deed poll?

I think you can see that his lifestyle will improve if and when he and his girlfriend marry and buy together, given she already has 2 properties and i would assume equity in both at the least. Any investment she makes , i am sure , she will protect. He is changing his name so clearly unusual behaviour. I wonder if what you are asking is, if he and her build a financially comfortable life together , have a nice expensive home etc can you benefit from that if you are-still legally marred. The answer is no. You and he will only share any assets accumulated during your marriage /relationship and he will need to pay maint for your 2 shared children. He will be able to clearly demonstrate you were separated through council tax, where he was living addresses and banking . If you and he did not have or acquire much during your 8 yrs together then sadly you will only get a share of that.

Op, i mean this kindly, it is clear you have been hurt. See a solicitor, get divorced and a judge will formalise all your financials ( including any pension entitlements) for a clean break. Child Maint will also be documented and enforceable within that structure.

Start to rebuild your life . I think you also posted this exact thing last year. I read something very similar. You need to move quickly now to safeguard any/your joint assets as they currently stand. A jointly owed home will be yr biggest asset in terms of division. I suspect his new GF will ring fence all her assets before she buys with him / marries him. Her money may well springboard them but it will not help you.

Sorry OP. The guy is an arse and you will better off in all respects when you are free of him in terms of marriage and finances. The more time you put into hating /sabotaging him, the less you spend enjoying yourself and your children. Divorce him and move on. Staying married to him , in the hope of more money or to be disruptive, will only ultimately hurt you in the end.

He said he changed his name because he wanted too? Which I find really strange if honest with you. We don't own a house no I'm on the council and have a council house which gladly I didn't put him on the tenancy which I almost did when we married! He is saving I know he's saving so that's how I know he will find a deposit plus his mum has come into some money and I know she's giving him half!

@wewereliars

You cant file for divorce until you've been married for 12 months

Married for a year December just gone

@Iyiyi

Do you own a property together? It’s unlikely he’d be able to get another mortgage if he already has one with you.

When I met my DP he was still legally married and had a joint mortgage with his ex wife - they had agreed to wait until she was in a position to buy him out, giving him capital for a new purchase, so we rented for 2 years. They’d be mad to buy anything while he’s still married to you.

I didn't think he would be able to buy a property because he's married but then he's changed his name by deed poll it's all weird if you ask me. Reason I'm so angry is because in the 6 months we haven't been together he's given me £300 for our two children when I know he's been earning and has been to expensive hotels and restaurants with her and he's also been to the Caribbean too.

So you have a council house that you dont need to leave therefore have someone safe and secure for you and kids...but you expect to take half (or whatever) of a house your now ex is to purchase?? - yeah i don't think thats going to happen!.
Yes hes been a shit but I agree with others that you need to move on - and he needs to pay maintenance for his kids

You were together 8 years but only only one year will be taken into account in the divorce.

@Ilikewinter

So you have a council house that you dont need to leave therefore have someone safe and secure for you and kids...but you expect to take half (or whatever) of a house your now ex is to purchase?? - yeah i don't think thats going to happen!. Yes hes been a shit but I agree with others that you need to move on - and he needs to pay maintenance for his kids

Been a shit? Lol you don't know the half of it the bloke is a top c* he's been absolutely disgusting and vile. Can't give me money for his kids but can go away to the Caribbean for New Years and expensive hotels and fancy dinners. He makes me sick. I will move on when I want too and that's not before he gets what he deserves first. If I'm not entitled to anything then fine I'll find a way. Makes me sick he can save for a mortgage and as I said not pay for his kids because he wants a life of luxury with her. Makes my blood boil.

But he has to live somewhere, why does it matter if he rents or buys?
Yes he needs to pay for his kids.

If he currently has savings or a pension you might be entitled to a share of those if the court decides to take your whole 8 year relationship into account. But if you don't have proof, especially of the savings, it may be easy enough for him to deny those. Pension if through work should be easier to find. If he's not currently paying maintenance I'd start by making an application for child support. He should be supporting his children.

If he's not paying child maintenance can you not take him to the CMS?

@Ilikewinter

But he has to live somewhere, why does it matter if he rents or buys? Yes he needs to pay for his kids.

Because how can he afford to get a mortgage but tell me he has no work and hasn't done for ages which is why he can't give me child maintenance? He's a liar?

@HereIAmOnceAgain

If he currently has savings or a pension you might be entitled to a share of those if the court decides to take your whole 8 year relationship into account. But if you don't have proof, especially of the savings, it may be easy enough for him to deny those. Pension if through work should be easier to find. If he's not currently paying maintenance I'd start by making an application for child support. He should be supporting his children.

This is what I mean, he's being very weird with changing his surname by deed poll and not being our married name...... I think he's hiding money if I'm honest. He's definitely up to something.

@StephenBelafonte

If he's not paying child maintenance can you not take him to the CMS?

I have he's self employed and has made out he's not working at all, which again is lies as I know people he's worked for. His behaviour is disgusting.

If you’re not already getting maintenance though CMS, get in touch with them first thing in the morning.

There’s probably no rush to file for divorce, it’s not cheap (~£550?), and unless you’re expecting to come into money soon, take it slow.

As there’s mutual children involved, despite the short marriage, the courts will generally look upon the whole length of the relationship, but if you’ve got a secure council tenancy, and he’s renting, he could potentially get a bigger share of the pot. However, the reason for divorce (unless in rare cases like gambling etc) is not considered and has 0% impact on the asset split.

Have a read through the divorce and separation boards, and divorce.wikivorce.com/.

TBH I think your only going to cause yourself more heart ache and stress. The division of assets from a 6 month marriage it could cost more in fees than you would get.
Guy at work bought a house while still married after taking legal advice and told as long as he could prove finical separation/sepration she had no claim on it ( living and buying with OW would do that).
OW would possibily have a stake in house as well .
Divorcing for adultery means nothing it doesn't go anywhere it's literally a reason on a piece of paper it doesn't give you anymore rights or anything.
You need to be careful the need for vengeance and all the fury in your post can be very self-destructive for you .
get CMS sorted

Op, you clearly have no joint assets. You will receive no property payout as council housing.

Your immediate problem is that you have 3 children you need to support. What can you do work wise to support your 3 children?

[quote AnotherDelphinium]If you’re not already getting maintenance though CMS, get in touch with them first thing in the morning.

There’s probably no rush to file for divorce, it’s not cheap (~£550?), and unless you’re expecting to come into money soon, take it slow.

As there’s mutual children involved, despite the short marriage, the courts will generally look upon the whole length of the relationship, but if you’ve got a secure council tenancy, and he’s renting, he could potentially get a bigger share of the pot. However, the reason for divorce (unless in rare cases like gambling etc) is not considered and has 0% impact on the asset split.

Have a read through the divorce and separation boards, and divorce.wikivorce.com/.[/quote]
He can't touch the council house his name is not on the tenancy and never had been he was just someone who lived here not actually on the paperwork as such

OP you sound very bitter and angry and I totally get why!
He's an absolute B***!

Speak to a solicitor but I can't see how you'd be entitled to anything, the house will be mortgaged. The bank own it for the next 20/25 years, not them.

What's the point working yourself up, stressing yourself out over two cheaters ? They're not worth it!

What happens if you get sick ? What will happen to your kids ? Don't feed into this.

Please speak to a counsellor and try to move on with your life. F them !

"@Leanne1191 He can't touch the council house his name is not on the tenancy and never had been he was just someone who lived here not actually on the paperwork as such"

Neither of you have a pot to piss in.

@ElizabethofpeanutYorkies

"*@Leanne1191* He can't touch the council house his name is not on the tenancy and never had been he was just someone who lived here not actually on the paperwork as such"

Neither of you have a pot to piss in.

I don't for now...... but I will do with the plans I have.

Thing is, if he is claiming he isnt earning then I cant see how he would get a mortgage as he would struggle just now being self employed as mortgage companies are being SUPER strict just now and hel need to declare his income and show them bank accounts.

@Donann

OP you sound very bitter and angry and I totally get why! He's an absolute B***!

Speak to a solicitor but I can't see how you'd be entitled to anything, the house will be mortgaged. The bank own it for the next 20/25 years, not them.

What's the point working yourself up, stressing yourself out over two cheaters ? They're not worth it!

What happens if you get sick ? What will happen to your kids ? Don't feed into this.

Please speak to a counsellor and try to move on with your life. F them !

Yes I am and your right I am having counselling because he's been emotionally and mentally abusive.

Another question. He also used the kids against me when he had them last week, told me he won't be bringing them home until we have spoken face to face. Where do I stand there with that because now I do not trust him with the kids too as he's planted that seed also in my head that he can just say I won't be bringing them back.

OP, focus on yourself and your kids.
Clearly you're better off without him and in the kindest possible way....you're coming across as total batshit crazy.

@ElizabethofpeanutYorkies

Op, you clearly have no joint assets. You will receive no property payout as council housing.

Your immediate problem is that you have 3 children you need to support. What can you do work wise to support your 3 children?

I'm trying to find a job to work round the kids but it's hard at the moment because of covid and I don't have any family that will help me out either.

@toomanyplants

OP, focus on yourself and your kids. Clearly you're better off without him and in the kindest possible way....you're coming across as total batshit crazy.

I don't mean too lol just had enough of his bull shite and lies that's all. Guy can't be straight with me what so ever.