Mortgage

[Leanne1191]

Hi just a question, my husband who cheated on me is now getting his own place with the woman he cheated on me with, I think they're buying, if he buys a house while we are still married am I entitled too it because we are married? He has changed his surname by deed poll but legally we are married?

@Scbchl

Thing is, if he is claiming he isnt earning then I cant see how he would get a mortgage as he would struggle just now being self employed as mortgage companies are being SUPER strict just now and hel need to declare his income and show them bank accounts.

See that's what I thought. Even though he has changed his name too they will want to know his old name and all his previous files and stuff won't they? Like his credit report which is bad. All of this confuses me that's why I've asked on here. I just needed advice not people being funny with me.

Yeah we have just done a new mortgage application on Monday and it asks previous names. He defo wont get one just because he changed his name, because he has no credit history under the new name.

If he has bad credit and is apparently not earning and has form for emotional/mental abuse then he is likely just saying it to wind you up and torment you.

It can be very hard to get a mortgage if you are self employed, especially if hes been a bit lax with his books in the past!.
Changing his name wont suddenly wipe out all his previous credit history - its no different than getting married and changing your surname, your history still follows you.
Maybe his plan is the the new woman buys and he just moves in.....if so shes the fool but what goes around comes around.

@Scbchl

Yeah we have just done a new mortgage application on Monday and it asks previous names. He defo wont get one just because he changed his name, because he has no credit history under the new name.

If he has bad credit and is apparently not earning and has form for emotional/mental abuse then he is likely just saying it to wind you up and torment you.

Yeah your prob right. I just need out of this marriage really don't I? 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

@Ilikewinter

It can be very hard to get a mortgage if you are self employed, especially if hes been a bit lax with his books in the past!. Changing his name wont suddenly wipe out all his previous credit history - its no different than getting married and changing your surname, your history still follows you. Maybe his plan is the the new woman buys and he just moves in.....if so shes the fool but what goes around comes around.

Yeah I think maybe he has saved some money to put towards the house and it will be in her name, she has been warned as she has told me she has been screwed over twice before, but you can't tell stupid can you? Can she then add him to the deeds after the mortgage is put in her name? Because I think they will prob end up doing it that way if possible.

Bitterness is not a good quality. You need to move on. Making choices this way will make you as bad as him. Your poor children who are in the middle of this war.

If you want revenge get it by having a good life, moving on and being happy.

As for your intentions towards his assets, the courts will take into account your children and your marriage. And the more you are vile to him the more you make him think he's done the right thing and the more he will hide his cash!

For your own sanity and your children's stop being bitter.

Yes she can add his name to the house later if she decides to but that’s none of your business. You have no marital assets to split. Claim child maintenance through the CMS and move on. He’ll always be a d**k, you can’t change that.
Anger is totally understandable but it’s so destructive and your loathing of him will filter down and damage your children if you’re not careful. Stop plotting revenge, it’s just a waste of energy and you’ll make yourself ill.
You’ve had an awful time but the best revenge, honestly, is to be the best version of yourself. Get happy, focus on your future and get back to being fabulous.
If you are a bitter angry ex he’ll pity you and laugh at you, is that what you want? If you move on with dignity and peace he won’t understand and you won’t care. Please let the anger go. He’s really not worth it is he?

@Littlepaws18

Bitterness is not a good quality. You need to move on. Making choices this way will make you as bad as him. Your poor children who are in the middle of this war.

If you want revenge get it by having a good life, moving on and being happy.

As for your intentions towards his assets, the courts will take into account your children and your marriage. And the more you are vile to him the more you make him think he's done the right thing and the more he will hide his cash!

For your own sanity and your children's stop being bitter.

It is hard trying to control the bitterness when you've been completely disrespected snd Ill treated. Then again I know what he is like and he will do it to this woman too, manipulate, control and cheat on her. He has done it to his previous partner and mother of his two older children he's done it to me and he's actually already done it to her but she forgave him but he will do it again. They never change.

@Aminuts23

Yes she can add his name to the house later if she decides to but that’s none of your business. You have no marital assets to split. Claim child maintenance through the CMS and move on. He’ll always be a d**k, you can’t change that. Anger is totally understandable but it’s so destructive and your loathing of him will filter down and damage your children if you’re not careful. Stop plotting revenge, it’s just a waste of energy and you’ll make yourself ill. You’ve had an awful time but the best revenge, honestly, is to be the best version of yourself. Get happy, focus on your future and get back to being fabulous. If you are a bitter angry ex he’ll pity you and laugh at you, is that what you want? If you move on with dignity and peace he won’t understand and you won’t care. Please let the anger go. He’s really not worth it is he?

I am trying, I'm not as bad as I was before. He's not worth it no, and your right I do need to stop it. I do get that, that's why I've started counselling and stuff. I will get there it's all still raw as I only found out the truth finally at the end of October last year because he continued to lie to me.

It’s not worth the anger and bitterness, your kids will grow up knowing how angry you are.

Live a happy and good life, teach your kids positivity, it’s so much better to do this than to wallow in hate.

If he’s got form for being bad with money and running up debts then it would be in your interest to distance yourself from him financially as well.

You can legally separate, I believe, and once you’ve done that, make sure you contact Equifax and Experian and get them to remove him from your credit file.

Otherwise if you’re still linked on them (and he continues to run up debt) then your credit rating will suffer by association.

@PaterPower

If he’s got form for being bad with money and running up debts then it would be in your interest to distance yourself from him financially as well.

You can legally separate, I believe, and once you’ve done that, make sure you contact Equifax and Experian and get them to remove him from your credit file.

Otherwise if you’re still linked on them (and he continues to run up debt) then your credit rating will suffer by association.

Yes this is true cannot I not contact them now about this to say he's no longer living with me and hasn't done for 6 months ?

How old are the kids OP ?

That relationship won't last. He's a duck head and it was built on lies. There will be no trust whatsoever!

You're making yourself sick over a relationship that will be over in a while anyway....

Focus on you, your kids, your counselling and moving on X

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Mark Twain.

You're doing lots of damage OP.

He's not worth it! Fuck him. He's loving seeing you like this.

Take back your control X

@Donann

How old are the kids OP ?

That relationship won't last. He's a duck head and it was built on lies. There will be no trust whatsoever!

You're making yourself sick over a relationship that will be over in a while anyway....

Focus on you, your kids, your counselling and moving on X

My eldest is 10 middle is 7 and youngest is 5.

Everyone says this that they won't last. I hope they don't if honest, your right though their relationship has been built on lies and she will never fully trust him because of how they met and him cheating on me and already cheating on her. The seeds already there and planted.

@Donann

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

Mark Twain.

You're doing lots of damage OP.

He's not worth it! Fuck him. He's loving seeing you like this.

Take back your control X

I am aren't i? Everyone is speaking so much truth. I need too leave this and just divorce the mug.

You will be well rid!

But focusing so much of your time on him, isn't helping you or your kids.

There may never be a house !

How much has this news / these thoughts affected you ?

Go after maintenance for your kids and blank the rest of the stuff. You could spend months or years playing deactivate, wrecking your head, making yourself sick... for nothing!

Again, he's not worth it ! X

@Leanne1191
"I'm trying to find a job to work round the kids but it's hard at the moment
because of covid and I don't have any family that will help me out either."

Op i have 2 x DC and are a single parent and always worked full time. No l family support as I am NC with due to violent abuse. I have worked since my children were babies.

@Leanne1191 I am aren't i? Everyone is speaking so much truth. I need too leave this and just divorce the mug.

You said that last yr.

[quote ElizabethofpeanutYorkies]@Leanne1191 I am aren't i? Everyone is speaking so much truth. I need too leave this and just divorce the mug.

You said that last yr. [/quote]
Didn't say any of this last year? We only split up last July and then I found out he cheated on October and then found out he was in a relationship with her middle of December.

Hats of too you for working full time as a single parent with no help. Because it's hard.

If your going to carry on posting sarcastic crap over my post then please don't reply to me.

Yes , yr previous thread from last yr a massive figment of my imagination.

@ElizabethofpeanutYorkies

Yes , yr previous thread from last yr a massive figment of my imagination.

Yes I had ended it because of how he was with me when he came back from working away, the I don't know what I want and stuff, I didn't know if it was truly over at this point because I was none the wiser, this was before it was finally clarified that he had cheated while working away and not him who told me in the end his family did the end of October last year! Then I knew it definitely was over because he had betrayed me and lied to me for months about it! I came on here for advice and all your being is a complete ass about it. Save your sarcastic comments for someone else.

You have lied on thread. We cannot help you.l if you are not honest.

Just move on with on yr life OP. You have no assets to share as you had both had nothing. Get divorced, arrange maint via a solicitor and move on with your life.

ElizabethofpeanutYorkies is right. You're only hurting yourself now. Get onto CMS and sort out maintenance for the younger children, and get the ball rolling on the divorce. He's a total waste of skin, but at least you have something good from the relationship, in your lovely kids.

Hes not worth your anger.