Don’t mention the jasmine!

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

Can’t believe I’m onto my third thread.

Previous one here

Been packing the car to go to the tip. It’s rammed! Cat has been out for the first time and thankfully returned.

Greatly enjoyed my walks this weekend. Got an 8 miler in yesterday but the best part was coming back, lighting the fire and getting into a hot bath. Had a zoom with friends last night, touch too much red wine, but it was so much fun.

You’re all right re the petition. It doesn’t matter, he’s just jackbooting. Someone asked what I’d put in, sorry but I’m not comfortable sharing that at present, been advised to keep it to myself whilst it’s ongoing.

Geller is, however, incredulous that I’m not willing to carry on sharing Amazon Prime and Music Unlimited.

The weighted blankets have arrived so I’m just about to go sort out the laundry and the girls run. Been enjoying Radio 2’s musical weekend, but I can’t understand how Steve Wright is still on.

Tip run, then they come back. Roast chicken with bread sauce and roast gnocchi and board games this afternoon in front of the fire I think. Sounds like he’s been running them ragged, lots of walks etc which is good as means I don’t need to!

How’s everyone else spending their Sunday?

Imagine that you are a friend reading your emails because you are (in surgery / negotiating a vital peace treaty / a.n.other reason) - let us call this friend Camilla - she smokes, swears and is very practical.
Would she not just read all that and go,
"Blah blah blah blah no there's nothing I have to sort out here" and ignore it?
I find thinking of things from the p.o.v. of someone outside the mess really helps calm me down when I have to deal with the what.is.their.problem crowd!

Camilla is my alter ego she'd sit there with a fag and a gin and be like 'Darling! Don't waste any more energy on this.'

Love it.

My new sports bra is front fastening and I still can't do the hooks up because my eyesight is too shit without glasses and then they are in the wrong place to see them through my glasses 😂😂😂😂

I will try oicking the bra over and my arms through after but may well get stuck and still need DH to rescue me 😂

Oh Random you've given me flashbacks to when you're in the changing room and the top went on fine and looked good and now you've got to try and get the damn thing off without ripping it or dislocating your shoulder and it's over your head and you have to bend over and do the shakey shuffle with your shoulders and oh lord it takes far too long but finally you're free and decide that buying it won't be a good idea! 😁 Actually the proper zip up bras make me nervous I always think I'm going to pinch things!

😂😂😂 @Pashazade well the great thing about the hooks is that you can zip it up with zero risk. Just need corrective eye surgery to be able to see the hooks!

I tried on a pullover one that turned out to be too small, fortunately DH was home and no teens DDs had to be traumatised rescuing me from it!

🤦🏼‍♀️

I once tried on a wetsuit in Decathlon, got it about quarter of the way off - to about chest level - and then got stuck.

( For those of you who don’t know - wetsuits are designed with a tape attached to the zip which you use to pull it up to the back of your neck. I think I somehow caught the tape in the zip, who knows. )

I spent what seemed like ages jumping up and down in this little wooden box in the middle of the shop floor, trying to get it off. Getting more stressed, sweaty and red faced by the minute of course.

Eventually I had to open the door a crack and peer out looking for a female customer to help me. Of course the shop was full of men.

Oh god I had the decathlon wetsuit experience during my lunch hour in a heatwave -2019? I was seriously struggling to remove a too small wetsuit behind a short thin curtain in the middle of the shop. Someone's toddler was tugging the curtain and saying "Hello" repeatedly and I was wearing a huge Judy Finnigan grey bra. I thought I'd never get out of there. You've given me flashbacks.
It was freezing cold the following week on our holiday.

😬😬😬 @Shouldbedoing

Sounds like Decathlon and wetsuits should be avoided at all costs!!

😳😂

I see your wetsuits and raise you a wedding dress! Luckily I had a friend with me in the changing room but the more we laughed the hotter I got and the stickier the dress seemed to get. Once we stopped laughing, she was able to take it by the her and pull it back over my head with me in a diving formation! We still laugh about it nearly 30 years on!

I once got stuck in a dress in Dorothy Perkins!

In my defence I was skinny at the time. The dress was just so oddly cut it just would not come off. Luckily I had a friend with me who managed to get me out of it.

I was at one point considering paying for the damn thing whilst wearing it and escaping from the shop that way.

I shan’t be trying on wetsuits in decathalon any time soon going by the other posts.

Never had bread sauce with anything except turkey but will def try it with chicken sometime

The roasted gnocchi were lovely! Such a good alternative to roasted potatoes!

Well done for the 'bright and breezy' approach! Just smile & wave, smile & wave. When you're feeling worn out by it all, these threads will serve as a journal of how far you've come! so far from the first days when you were just beginning to plan to leave!

Gah. Another awful nights sleep. Been awake since 3am, remembering some really bizarre things. Like the time we went on holiday and he was such a dick he told me to pull over so he could get out of the car to calm down but he wasn’t expecting me to drive off.

I drove off.

Or the fucking awful speech he made at my 40th. Or my Dads 80th. Or when we went to stay with family for 4 days and we’d plenty of clothes but he insisted on staying home and doing the laundry on the 3rd day, so I missed out on going paddleboarding.

I spoke to my brother yesterday and mentioned the email. He couldn’t stop laughing and finally wheezed out ‘with all his talk of change and life evolving, I thought he was going to come out or transition. Or at the very least tell you he’d met someone.’

Loving all the decathlon talk! I’ve never tried on a wetsuit, and that’s for good reason...

I got stuck in a dress in LK Bennett once. The salesgirl was incredibly patronising once I wrestled my way out of the frock and I’ve never bought anything from there since.

Glad you liked the gnocchi @customwatkins and yes, @EternalOptimist7, bread sauce goes soooo well with roast chicken.

I tried a new salmon recipe last night which was absolutely delicious and tonight I’m trying a new pork one. Doubt the kids will eat it but I’m looking forward to it. So very liberating cooking what I want to (allowing for the kids of course!)

Blowing an absolute Gale out there. I’ve sold another 3 things on Vinted, thank you so much for tipping me off on that one.

I think you need to practice some deprogramming techniques like they do for ex-cult members.... He fucked with your head for so long that you felt his behaviour was normal, or you normalized it so that you could live with it.... 😉 Perhaps you’ll sleep better if you think of five achievable things to look forward to instead of stewing on the shit things from the past. Yes, they happened, and your past is a valid reason for you being where you are, but you’re out. You did it!! Right now you need to not be bitter and angry (like him!) and you need to deal with the girls - who will push your buttons (like he did/does - they have had a VERY good teacher!), and you don’t want to be exhausted and vulnerable. You really need the sleep!!!

He really has been insufferable for a very long time.. I think its natural to rethink those things, like a puzzle & you now understand the clues.
I would comfort myself that finally you a shot if the tosser.
Can you slot in a Power nap ?

I think the dreams and remembering things is very normal post separation. You're emotions are now allowed a safe outlet, you had to sit on your feelings for so long.

I suffered from insomnia, so I started watching motivational YouTube videos, reading other peoples survival stories, and I took up a martial art, which I'd wanted to do since seeing karate kid as a child (wasn't karate I took up).

Might a bedtime routine help, and reading or watching something funny and light-hearted in the evening, talk to friends about it, talking helps. My best friend listened to me over and over and over. Which is why I love her so much, for putting up with the worst version of me.

Be kind to yourself, your mind and body is processing and adjusting to what you've been through, whilst you're still going through the divorce.

Love your brothers reaction, he sounds very funny and spot on about your ex.

I got stuck in a $500 velvet bustier in a very upmarket shop once. It took my then boyfriend, friend, and I 30 minutes and a hell of a lot of laughter to get me out of the damned thing. Luckily I knew the staff in the shop very well, and they too, were in stitches. I was a poor student at the time, and had visions of having to spend $500 on the damned thing and destroying it, just to get out of it!

OP I’ve followed your story from the start, never commented because other people say things so much better than I can

I’ve just got to say that I literally HOWLED at cutlery consultant 😂 and I’m sorry for that because this is your life but honestly, cutlery consultant my fat arse!

You can do this, you’re an amazing woman and a fantastic Mum, we’re all behind you 💐

Sorry to hear about awful night's sleep. I've said this before, but just keep reminding yourself that your subconscious is doing a brilliant job of detoxing. It's horrible, the next day, trying to lose that "shaken" feeling. And I know it sounds odd, but naming it out loud helps it to shrivel in the sunlight. Or you could make a list, ostensibly for your SHL, and look at how ridiculous as well as unpleasant some of this stuff is. It sounds as if your brother's response is just what you needed!
Gellar's deepest dread is probably Not Being Taken Seriously.

Problem with the Gellars of the world is that they so much time focused on themselves and taking themselves so seriously that it wouldn’t occur to them that anyone would do otherwise. You could probably do cartwheels naked with streamers coming out your bum while he’s monologueing, and he’s be oblivious.

The dreams are absolutely normal and I'm sorry to say I still have them occasionally 3 years on. Seeing it as your brain detoxing is helpful.

Dreams are your brain’s way of taking out the recycling!

How’s tricks Polly?