Don’t mention the jasmine!

[StuckInPollyannaMode]

Can’t believe I’m onto my third thread.

Previous one here

Been packing the car to go to the tip. It’s rammed! Cat has been out for the first time and thankfully returned.

Greatly enjoyed my walks this weekend. Got an 8 miler in yesterday but the best part was coming back, lighting the fire and getting into a hot bath. Had a zoom with friends last night, touch too much red wine, but it was so much fun.

You’re all right re the petition. It doesn’t matter, he’s just jackbooting. Someone asked what I’d put in, sorry but I’m not comfortable sharing that at present, been advised to keep it to myself whilst it’s ongoing.

Geller is, however, incredulous that I’m not willing to carry on sharing Amazon Prime and Music Unlimited.

The weighted blankets have arrived so I’m just about to go sort out the laundry and the girls run. Been enjoying Radio 2’s musical weekend, but I can’t understand how Steve Wright is still on.

Tip run, then they come back. Roast chicken with bread sauce and roast gnocchi and board games this afternoon in front of the fire I think. Sounds like he’s been running them ragged, lots of walks etc which is good as means I don’t need to!

How’s everyone else spending their Sunday?

Just sat and read all your threads and my goodness well done you for escaping from that total man child. Never ceases to amaze me how many powerful business men like to be helpless at home and can’t cope with the basics.

Keep kitchen dancing and gin and wine drinking your way to happiness !!!

You've had a day of being present with them OP, now they are having a day of tech. Seems totally fine and healthy to me.

As for meeting up for walks with friends, I agree, the point is not to do that sort of thing.

There's nothing wrong with bike rides and walks from home, again it's healthy for you and them.

Stop comparing yourself to others, you don't know if it's all for FB or their online persona. You're doing an awesome job in really shitty circumstances.

A friend of mine has down the 28 day dance yourself fit and has really enjoyed it. Might be worth a look

OP, I've read all three threads now and I have to say I take off my hat to you for having dealt with all of this with eloquence and humour. I hope you've saved all these posts because you could absolutely make a "Why Mummy Drinks" style book out of them. Just think what a lovely revenge that would be on Geller

On a more serious note, I recognise so many of the behaviours you've had to put up with, including the whole "We're not together any more but I still expect you to sort out my life for me"

Oh, and on the mango front: peel and chop into cubes. Chop a red chilli and a couple of spring onions. Mix with the mangos, drizzle over some olive oil and leave to get acquainted.

Heat some oil in a pan then pan fry some mackerel fillets - skin side first until crispy then the same on the other side. Serve with the salsa and some salad. Granted it's not really a winter dish but it's nice all the same :)

Not commented in a while but don’t worry about too much tech at this time. The weather isn’t great and they have had a big upheaval.

Remember you don’t have to be a great mum, just a normal one muddling through like the rest of us.

@ThinkWittyThoughts - Taylor Swift - my kitchen dance song of choice

🎶💃🎶💃🎶💃🎶

Now I’ve got to investigate belly dancing... I hope the music is decent!

A friend of mine is with an overbearing tosser who constantly sends her inane and catastrophising texts about the kids as well if she has any time away, with friends or alone. And also bleats loudly to every neighbour and school parent if he has to parent his own children about how she's away with her friends and he's left to do everything.

We were on a girls holiday for a few days about five years ago and he called about five times a day saying 'oh I mentioned to dd/ds you might be able to get that new Lego set / pokemon card / rare vintage comic, and they'll be sooo disappointed if you don't and think you don't care about them'. So she spent about 1k and most of her time away running around you shops and comic book stores, and it basically took over most of her holiday and disrupted ours. Job done for him 🙄

My friend is married to one of these blokes too. He is so fucking self-indulgent and guilt-trippy. He gets out of adulting all the fucking time. He goes on mountain-biking fund-raisers for insert-here charity of choice, leaving her at home to raise the two boys he’s been horrible to. He’s cheated on her and she’s spent so much time compensating for his behaviour to her friends and her kids that she has lost her self completely. Her boys are now very almost adults and she has spent so much of her energy hiding his true nature and her true feelings about it all by channeling every last piece of herself into doing all the thinking and doing for them, that they have become mirrors of their bloody dad. Entitled, controlling, narcissistic arseholes. It’s so sad.

Justilou, I see a certain extent of that in my DC sadly, even though look on their father with derision now.

Then I recommend that you develop a VERY firm sense of yourself. Do not over-compensate for his failings or pretend that nothing is wrong. Kids are neither blind nor stupid. If they are fed bullshit by their parents, they will actually try and fill in the blanks themselves and often come up with more dangerous stories of their own. I think this might have been what broke the eldest of my friend’s kids. It’s no coincidence that his schoolwork and behaviour went to crap when his parent’s relationship did, but they “patched it up” and she’s pretending nothing ever happened. They’ve never discussed anything with the kids and I can just tell that he over-heard every single thing. He is so angry, and it is such a waste of a super-intelligent boy. (I hope he’ll be okay when he moves out, tbh...)

There's a brilliant video on youtube, it makes me smile!
Have a look at Shake it Off Dover Police Officer
Chin up Pollyanna, elbows out x

So far today he's messaged about how to reduce the size of Teams on the kids laptops, that one of the more disruptive kids is in school today, and what they had for breakfast...

This time last year I was getting ready to go to Morocco for a very dear friend's 40th. The messages he sent me were AWFUL. I remember crying on a sunlounger. I was only away for 2 nights but boy, did I pay for it.

Talking of funny videos, has anyone seen the dancing guardai from Ireland? I LOVED that video. (Not sure I've spelt guardai right) I'll check out the Police Officer vid!

Watched Bridgerton last night and it was the wedding/honeymoon one. Cried and cried. Its the way the Duke talks about his feelings for Daphne. I thought I had that but I didn't.

Mango and parma ham salad for lunch today! Distinctly underwhelmed by the fishfinger thing, sorry Nigella. Although it was welcomed after a long muddy tramp through the woods!

Too cold out today. Dancing later!

www.facebook.com/angardasiochana/videos/692916088065275/

Have you told him to stop messaging you unless it's an emergency?

god, yes. please message him and tell him to stop. tell him you have no interest in the minutae of his day, nor do you want to hear anything thats not a 'we are going to hospital' emergency.

I've told him I'm not going to respond to anything that isn't an emergency until the end of the working day and that he needs to deal with stuff.

Id tell him to stop sending you any guff at all. At the moment your request still allows him to brain dump everything throughout the day which, even if you are not responding (although youve said you will do later - WHY???) must be really fucking irritating AND interrupting.

Ive never sent anything to DDs dad when she is with me, and he has never sent anything back. The kids are not that young. he can cope without a photo each day. Its uneccesary and it is still him trying to control your time.

Unless its an emergency, neither of you need to send anything to each other at all. Unless its confirming times for contact.

he is going to have to find some other outlet to impart his wonderful wisdom to. Its not your job to listen anymore.

How dare he tell you how to sort the kids laptops out after the shit storm he caused with them, plus his iPad purchase. God I don't know how you've not strung him up OP. Kudos to your self control

I agree with the no contact at all unless for emergency it's not your job to sort his shit out etc.

So there is a long history of him ensuring that your attention is focused on him ALL THE TIME.

You need to stop pandering to it.

Yes I would agree, neither of you need a photo every day either.........

It's all very enmeshed and that is inappropriate now you are living apart and divorcing. Your ex isn't your friend.

Good co-parenting has boundaries and ensures that you have properly separated from each other not in some sort of semi-separated emotional state.

Oh, for god's sake.

Endless bloody messages all afternoon. I can't turn my phone off because I'm on work calls and dealing with a big client thing, just got off one conference call and need to go on another.

Girls have their tutoring session tonight. He's messaged about 3 times - DD1 is refusing to do it, then that we need to talk about whether we carry on with tutoring as their engagement is so poor. Then just now 'I suspect the girls will not want to stay again as I've been hot on discipline. Their behaviour is simply not good enough. They know I'm frustrated.'

I'm in tears and just can't deal with this. Has he had another blow up with them? Do I need to go and get them? Has he lost his rag with them or what?

Why is he such a MAN CHILD????

OP,
Deep breath.
He is just a twit.
Do not go over there.
You will hear how things are when the girls return.
If he is so unpleasant that the girls are refusing to return, then that will be a matter for your SHL.

He's a twat with verbal diarrhoea.