Do you initiate sex with your partner ?

[Lauren551]

As the title says
I’m more looking for people in long term relationships
Do you initiate Sex with him ? And if you didn’t or don’t is he offended ?
I have to admit I don’t initiate it’s not that I don’t want to I just feel awkward initiating , I rarely turn him down when he instigates it , but he’s mentioned a few times over last few years that I don’t and also that I don’t ‘snog him’ anymore

I wish mine would instigate more its always me!!
Whats awkward about it?

Yes of course but I rarely get the opportunity as he gets in there first

We're together 25 years and have had a few dry patches during that time, he definitely has instigated more often than me but I have no problem letting him know I'm in the mood if necessary.

Why would you feel awkward about it? Especially if you've been together a long time?

Yeah I do if I'm up for it. So if you dont, does that mean when you get horny you just dont do anything about it to let him know?

I think I've initiated only about 8 times in our 20 years together

I still feel shy.hes always initiating 😏😏

It’s about 50/50 but we mostly assume we’ll be doing it unless someone is particularly tired.

My husband and I initiate equally, and I'd bet you never initiating makes your husband feel rubbish. It's important to feel wanted, and I promise he would LOVE for you to make the first move. What on earth are you so afraid of? Just do it.

Yes quite often, but I tend to do it in subtle ways such as wearing no knickers in bed. Drives him wild without actually having to do anything.

I hadn't used to and it (along with other issues) made him feel quite unwanted and a bit 'sex-pesty' (his words) so it's something I've had to overcome. I still have to sort of summon up courage but it is getting easier the more I do it I wonder what we're afraid of? Rejection is unlikely (from my DH at least!) and logically I'm not at all embarrassed about wanting sex but the thought of initiating still makes me want to curl up and die

Yep, I use those tactics too Onwednesday, DH knows his luck is in if I get into bed naked

Yes I do initiate it more than he initiates it, (I think he's shy more than lazy) In our 10+ years together.

I'm saying this only to offer advice, I don't eg dress up in fancy lingerie or anything, I just know that whenever I'm up for it, I just need to give DP a head/neck/shoulder massage and hey presto I get laid!

Yes I do, probably 50/50 I would think. I’d be sad if he never did with me so I assume he’d feel the same if I never came on to him

Been together for 14 years, we initiate equally I would say.

There have been patches where DH was working a lot and very tired so it was always me initiating. My self esteem really took a hit tbh.

Give it a go OP, he obviously wants you or he wouldn't initiate himself it would he?

I don't initiate as such but we know each other well and I just need to snuggle up to him in a certain way and he knows!
He would always be up for it, so if I just hug him, he's almost immediately turned on but he's respectful and in no way a sex pest!

I'm not at all embarrassed about wanting sex but the thought of initiating still makes me want to curl up and die

See, I find that a bit sad, don't you have needs?

"Initiating" needn't be about flaunting your negligee or shoving your tongue into their mouth in the midst of a morning kiss, that type of stuff.

Surely sending subtle, appropriate and appreciated messages to your partner that you find them desirable is fundamental to most relationships.

About equal. It’s good I think, makes everyone feel wanted. But we also sort of have slots where it’s going to happen unless one of us is really exhausted.

Both of us probably equally. However much like our sex life we go through phases 😂 sometimes one of us gets lazy and it’s more on the other and vice versa. If we notice this then we just have a chat about what’s going on and things always level out. If my partner didn’t initiate sex with me then I would feel really unwanted and I know he would too.

Yes of course. Even at 29 weeks pregnant at the moment

It's both of us, although we don't live together so the rare occasions we do meet up, it's for sex. If we do spend nights together, it's usually me that fondles him, doesn't take much to get him turned on !

Yes - I didn’t used to, I used to feel a bit shy about it but we’ve got better at talking about these things more as our relationship’s gone on, he really likes it when I initiate and it’s made our sex life better and more open. I would try it!

You have been together for years, why do you feel awkward if you want him? Some advice from Grace Jones:

Yes I do initiate. I’ve bought a shed load of leggings. Lots of those butt lifting leggings and I will sit on his lap or lean over furniture to give him an eyeful. He loves leggings on me for some reason. I don’t have to do much more than that.

Yep I feel awkward iniciating sex with my bf of 2 years. Cant even spell the word 🙈

See, I find that a bit sad, don't you have needs?

Sadly it's the tip of a very large iceberg of issues with sex we've had to overcome Gncq, we'd be here all night if I tried to answer your question

@Gncq who wears knickers in bed anyways even my kids wear pj's and no pants. I sleep in a sports bra

You guys all give hints ? I just ask and my partner loves it, or he asks. We both are very open and if anything he thinks it's more of a turn on when I mention the deed