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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

would you buy a birthday gift?

30 replies

GoOutsideAndPlay · 27/01/2021 14:10

I have nc.

It's a long story that seems too ridiculous to go into. But my former best friend (and godmother to both my children) has ghosted me for a couple of years now. There is a long backstory but it basically came down to DH inheriting money from his parents when they died and us putting our DCs (one of whom has ASD, ADHD, and tourettes) into fee paying schools that had specialist prvision for their needs. My former friend (works in the state system but not as a teacher) is violently opposed to fee paying schools and told us that we were disgusting and a whole lot of other things that were very hurtful.

I was cross at the time and after a few episodes of being told I was immoral and a 'fucking Tory voter' told her that unless she was making the decision she did not get a vote. Since then she has refused to have anything to do with us. Every year i have sent her christmas cards and flowers and chocolates on her birthday. She never acknowledges it. For christmas I again sent her flowers and a hamper and a card. Nothing. i drove past her about 2 weeks ago and waved and she averted her eyes.

her birthday is next week. i feel like ti is wrong to not acknowledge it, nto least because it is a big birthday that I know she was anxious about but I am also a bit fed up with being ghosted. She has not acknowledged my birthday since 2017. She has not said a word to her own godchildren since we fell out. Our eldest was close to her and occasionally asks why she does not want to be our friend anymore.

I feel real grief at the loss of the friendship. But at the same time, i think enough is enough and it is time to put it to bed.

Should I try one more time and send her flowers for her 50th?

(I expect I know the answer).

OP posts:
Bitcherama · 27/01/2021 16:51

What the fuck? Of course not. Total waste of your money on a nasty woman. Leave her alone.

AnyTimeSoon · 27/01/2021 16:58

You are being a sucker for punishment. Just stop and take back your self respect. How and where you school your child is none of her business. What she did was so out of order, you shouldn't be trying to make it up to her because to her it seems she is right?

Day0fTheDead9 · 28/01/2021 14:54

Are you feeling guilty ?

Put the money you would have spent in a savings account for your child's future
Or
Donate to a charity of your choice

londonscalling · 29/01/2021 03:43

And I think you should delete her on Facebook (you said you saw on there that her dog had died). I'm only friends with people on Facebook that I'm friends with in the real world!

AlwaysCheddar · 29/01/2021 04:49

No!!

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