What are your 'trivial' reasons for not dating someone?

[Purplepinks]

I dont mean big, red flags but things that you think other people would overlook. This is prompted by ongoing discussions I have with a friend. We are both single but she wants to be in a relationship and I'm not that bothered. Some of the reasons I've stopped / not started dating guys include they smoked (I know this is non-negotiable for some), said they regularly grew their short goaty into a big, bushy beard, didn't seemed to have done their dishes for about a week, moaned about work a lot, phoned their mum for the most trivial reasons. My friend thinks I should be more laid back and have given all of these guys more of a chance. So I just wondered what seemingly minor things have put others off dating someone.

The things you overlook in the beginning are what break you up in the end.

Non-dishwashing bloke = ick, you'd end up the household skivvy.
Mummy's boy = just no.
Beardy chap = I quite like a beard, but it's a matter of taste, innit?
Smoker = no
Moaner = I don't need someone who's a downer. If he's doing something to change it, maybe, but if it's just routine moaning, I couldn't be arsed.

I think your friend has foolishly low standards.

Smoking.
Fussy eating.
Vegetarian.
Bad with money.

Smoking
Moaning
Laziness
Fussy eating - I know this can't be helped but I don't want a lifetime of boring or separate meals.

These may not seem that trivial, but I feel red flags such as these emerge that gradually that they have the chance of being dismissed. When looked at as a whole and in hindsight, they seem much more obvious.

Has a disproportionate number of female friends, who when you look closely, behave like a harem vying for his attention. This is particularly evident on SM.

Admits to having mainly transient friendships.

Fervently anti - Trump, though displays signs of casual sexism under a veneer.

A sense of grandiose and entitlement. Acts with hostility to even minor differences in opinion.

Gets away with certain behaviours and attitudes by using humour as a cover for ultimately being a shitty person.

Generally has a negative outlook. Thrives on own misery - waves this around as means to get attention or pity.

Got chatting to someone on a dating app and he called me “Darling”. Immediately got the ick and ditched him.

Bettalife oh yes, I'd forgotten about the guy who used to refer to his 2 female housemates as 'the girls'. Something about that phrase made me suspect he'd end up being a misogynistic arse.

He had the same (unisex) name as me

Shorter than me

Bad teeth

His laugh was like nails on a blackboard

Acted like my main aim in life should be to marry and have lots of babies and be a housewife and kept banging on about how he would be able to support me to stay at home despite me saying that was not something that appealed.

I could go on...

Not dated since about 1987 but, back then, trainer wearing. I know. Sorry.

Smoking
Taking illegal drugs
Lateness
Illiterate with money.

I once stopped seeing someone because they turned up for a date wearing a hideous purple leather jacket. It was years ago and I couldn't even tell you what he looked like anymore but I can still remember that jacket!!

Glasses wearer.. (ok for reading but not full time)
Shorter than 5 foot 9
Hair that's collar length or longer
Skinny
Cat owner
No banter
Batchelor degree
Lives in shared house
Effeminate
No tattoos
It can be little things that put me off even down to how someone walks!!
Guess that's why I've been single for 9 years!! 🤣🤣

Being into football, in any way at all

Playing golf

Driving an oversized or pretentious car

Inability to see beyond own religious beliefs

Inability to have a mature discussion about contentious topics

Strange friends.

Lives in shared house
No instead of know
Aloud instead of allowed.
Smoker

Bad teeth
Poor hygiene and more generally poor grooming
Clinginess

Disinterest in current affairs
Stinginess

@ElvisPresleysSideburns

Not dated since about 1987 but, back then, trainer wearing. I know. Sorry.

Trainer wearing really irks me if it's one of those big chunky sports trainers and they're not out jogging, they're wearing it casually. It makes them look so oddly put together and unattractive.

If going somewhere casual, clean and nice looking white or black flat heeled ones are fine.

Smoker
Calls me babe/love/darlin’ etc.
Bad footwear
Unadventurous with food
Ostentatious
Pretentious
Likes football
Wears sportswear when not exercising
Thinks McDonalds is a treat

A beard. Smoker. Keen on football. Talking with mouth full. Bad table manners. Wearing jogging bottoms if not exercising. Swearing. Strong regional accent. Wearing a baseball cap (especially if worn backwards).
Bad teeth and hygiene. Calling me Babe. Tattoos.

Very bad grammar. Wouldn't stop me going out with someone I really liked but would put me off. Using you're/your and similar incorrectly, "alot", and "could of" instead of "could have" which are all basic English words/phrases that everyone should know, irritates me so much.

Cowboy boots
Wearing dress shoes with jeans
Tight jeans
Adding apostrophes to make a word plural
Lack of facial hair
Skinny
Short
Vegetarian
Drives a van
And I’m sure there are more 😂

A no from me is

Smokers
Big beards
Skinny
Under 5'11
Unromantic
Non driver ffs never again!
Out on the town every weekend
Lives with children
Dog owner
Travels a lot
Gamers
Low wage earners
Female friends
Poor hygiene
Social media creep
Bad dress sense
Bad taste in music
Too nice
Bad manners
Commitment phobe
Doesn't have his own place
Bald
Too fat
Too old
Too young

But I'm still hopeful he's out there somewhere 😂

Small hands (kept thinking they were like girls hands)
Wore black pinstripe shirt with black pinstripe trousers
Yellow teeth
Used a velcro wallet (at age 34 !)
Dumped for how he spoke about women at work
Used the backseat of his car as a bin
Drank Malibu & Coke
Was rude to a barman when given wrong drink
Answered for me when his pal asked me a question
Said ''no-one has ever broken up with me (prepare yourself then!)

Gamers
Low wage earners
Female friends
Poor hygiene
Social media creep
Bad dress sense
Bad taste in music
Too nice
Bad manners
Commitment phobe

Woah... this sounds familiar!

I wouldn’t mind a lot of things people are listing here - smoking, living in a shared house or not driving don’t bother me (but I enjoy the occasional fag myself, and live in London where pretty much everyone is in shared houses and doesn’t drive or own cars). Sad some people think having female friends at all is a dealbreaker, and I can’t work out why a bachelors degree is a no for the PP!

For me:
Loafers with no socks
If they adhere to a stereotype I find unattractive e.g gym chav, skiing finance posho, lads lads lads type
Army guys
No interest in current affairs
Overtly softboi e.g takes soft focus selfies, talks about Kerouac and obscure vinyls
Music snob
Can’t show/talk about feelings
This is a pretty niche one but I find people who’ve had uncomplicated lives and lovely large families difficult to relate to. I prefer someone who’s had a few hard times and come out the other side (they’ve got to have worked on their issues though, not be an emotionally incompetent wet wipe)

If you feel something is off about someone, it probably is.

Long time since i dated but things that put me off in the past:

Annoying laugh
Tattoos
Smoker
Perfume (cant stand the stuff)