It's all so unfair

[Apricot10]

Hi Everyone,
Some may remember me from a while back "D" H left for OW who was 24. He was 40 at the time.
I was left with 2 kids one with Autism.
We basically barely speak now and he has the kids 2 nights a month, Saturday night EOW.
I have managed the entire lockdown, which includes all home school while working 30 hours per week as well.
He hasn't helped once, not one day of help.
They have only recently started staying at his. He has been gone over a year now.
He has had 5 weeks of annual leave and not one of those days has been used to look after his kids.
It all just seems so damn unfair. The OW has been furloughed since March, so is sat playing housewife on 80% pay, he spends every evening, annual leave and every other weekend, doing what the hell he wants, watching Netflix and basically enjoying his little love nest. While I slog my guts out at working from home (for a children's charity so we are really busy), homeschooling an 11 year and 7 year old.
I am knackered. I don't know what I am expecting from this. It's all so damn unfair.
The kids think she is nice and have fun when they go. Yeah! I would be fun for 24 hours twice a month. But no I have to do the donkey work. Urgh. Just fed up.
It just feels like men get away with so bloody much.
Sorry to moan, I know there is a lot worse things happening. I guess I want to know from more wise people, how do you not let this all make you bitter, I feel I am heading that way.

I have no experience of this OP, but just wanted to say that you are doing an amazing job and should be proud of yourself.
Even though you're going through this shit, you keep saying...I know it's hard for everyone....so, even in your toughest time, you are thinking of others. Amazing. ( This empathy and understanding must be where your daughter gets it from).
It will get better. 2 things. When he picks them up and says let's give mummy a break, could you say something like, Mummy doesn't need a break, but you do need to spend quality time with daddy...?? And, when they go to stay with him,make sure you spend that time doing all of your favourite things. No housework ( maybe bare minimum if it makes you feel better), favourite foods, hot baths, pampering, reading etc. Make a list now !!

News Dollybird doesn’t like to be reminded that he existed before she came along, and probably also showing workmates what a great father he is... Public perception is everything, don’t change know? Now he can be all hangdog at work because “You refused to let her take his call” and he can be the poor dad alienated by the wife. No wonder he had to leave you, etc.... Fucking same story repeated over and over again.