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Original poster

What do you think of these txts

67 replies

MentalBreakdownComing · 17/01/2021 08:12

I left my husband recently after years of anger management issues, never hit me, but blowing up over small things, blaming me for things, making me feel about about silly things, being coercive and generally narcissistic.
I still deal with a lot of shit from him but I am a peacekeeper, probably a bit of a doormat and barely ever cause drama with him unless it involves our child. But I still get abuse from him.
What do you make of these messages I recieved today from him? Completely out of nowhere.
Just a bit of background about the “sleeping out and drawing on tits”
So I never slept out anywhere, I worked in a bar till 1am in a weekend. Maybe 2 times a month I would go out after work with my work mates and some friends, some of which were male, and we would go to a bar from 1-3 and then some of the girls and boys lived in shared accommodation, (students) so we would go and carry on drinking there. I would sometimes get home at 5am. I know I’m hindsight this is not the best way to carry on but I was just having fun with friends. As for the drawing on my tits 😑 no one drew on my tits, his workmate was there once and drew a smiley face on my neck!

OP posts:
Original poster
MentalBreakdownComing · 17/01/2021 08:12

Here are the msgs

What do you think of these txts
What do you think of these txts
What do you think of these txts
OP posts:
Original poster
MentalBreakdownComing · 17/01/2021 08:13

X

What do you think of these txts
OP posts:
Superstardjs · 17/01/2021 08:15

The man is weird. Why are you organising a present for his mother?

Original poster
MentalBreakdownComing · 17/01/2021 08:17

Because she is my child’s grandmother and I would hate for her to go without

OP posts:
CrappyNewYear2021 · 17/01/2021 08:18

He transferred the behaviour from real life to messages. You need to cut ties.

I’d block him and tell him to email in future and only ever about kids. Set up a separate email account so you only look at the messages when it suits you.

You certainly shouldn’t be doing his wife work any more.

ApolloandDaphne · 17/01/2021 08:19

I would have averted all that drama by telling him to fuck off and sort his mums present himself then ignoring him. You can send her a gift from your DC and he can sort his own gift.

Original poster
MentalBreakdownComing · 17/01/2021 08:21

Like I said I’m a doormat and I give in as to avoid drama...backfired on this occasion

OP posts:
Jumpers268 · 17/01/2021 08:25

@ApolloandDaphne

I would have averted all that drama by telling him to fuck off and sort his mums present himself then ignoring him. You can send her a gift from your DC and he can sort his own gift.
This! You could've gotten her a present from the DC, but he's a grown man (I'm assuming) so he can sort his own mother's present/card out. I wouldn't have replied to any of those messages.
KatherineJaneway · 17/01/2021 08:27

He sounds like a complete idiot.

Original poster
MentalBreakdownComing · 17/01/2021 08:27

You’re right. I should have just told him to fuck right off. Lesson learnt xx

OP posts:
Itstimetoquit · 17/01/2021 08:27

I would go no contact,he clearly doesn't believe that you didn't stay out ECT,look after you and your daughter,move on x

Shoxfordian · 17/01/2021 08:28

Stop being a doormat and stop buying his mum’s presents, he’s treating you like shit

Whatthebloodyell · 17/01/2021 08:28

He sound ridiculous putting a ‘kiss’ on the end of his nasty messages. What an idiot.

Mumdiva99 · 17/01/2021 08:30

Another have said why do you engage? He can just send her a present through amazon. Or get one of his friends/family to sort it. Not.your problem.

MynephewR · 17/01/2021 08:31

OP these messages read like you are still in a relationship. He starts by asking you to sort out his mum's birthday gift (which he definitely should not be asking and you definitely should not be agreeing to) and complaining that you don't put kisses on messages Confused

Don't engage, only talk to him about stuff that involves your DC. He is acting like you are still his partner and you are responding like you still are.

It should go like this:
Ex - forgot about mums birthday, can you sort her a card and voucher?
You - erm no, of course not. We are not together anymore that is your responsibility. Anyway what time are you picking DC up on Saturday?
Ex - oh you're so nasty, never loved me, bla bla bla
You - (nothing)

MrsSmith2021 · 17/01/2021 08:31

I’m not really sure why you are replying to those comments. You split up with him for a reason. You no longer have to put up with that behaviour. Just ignore it and only communicate about DC.

HNY2021 · 17/01/2021 08:32

He’s your ex - there should only be communication about your child. Grey rock.

He’s loving getting a rise out of you.

Good luck.

LazyDaisy22 · 17/01/2021 08:35

All the time you keep responding to his messages, he’ll go on and on. Don’t engage with him.

Kittykat93 · 17/01/2021 08:37

He sounds like a 15 year old. Even when being a cock hea putting a kiss on messages which makes it okay?? Fucking idiot.

Original poster
MentalBreakdownComing · 17/01/2021 08:38

Thankyou everyone, I really do appreciate your advice. And I actually do agree with all of it! Now to put it into play. Thankyou

OP posts:
WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 17/01/2021 08:41

Just to add, bloody well done OP for leaving this man. He's not nice and definitely just wants what he wants. It's very hard to leave men like this. Totally understand why you're still engaging. You engage because that's you being reasonable but he won't accept that, he wants what he wants so will use your resonance nature to punish you.

As the others said, block him and don't respond every time he accuses you/upsets you/demands anything.

Original poster
MentalBreakdownComing · 17/01/2021 08:47

@WishingHopingThinkingPraying

Just to add, bloody well done OP for leaving this man. He's not nice and definitely just wants what he wants. It's very hard to leave men like this. Totally understand why you're still engaging. You engage because that's you being reasonable but he won't accept that, he wants what he wants so will use your resonance nature to punish you.

As the others said, block him and don't respond every time he accuses you/upsets you/demands anything.

Thankyou that means a lot to me. I’ve been trying for years to leave him and yes it was very difficult, but I am so proud of myself for finally doing it and sticking to it and I feel stronger than ever mentally. Still a long way to go, obviously, but I will do it
OP posts:
smartiecake · 17/01/2021 08:49

Just dont reply. Dont respond unless its about your child. Send a card from your child but not the ex. If you have time to do it so does he. If you do it once he will be asking for stuff again. Just don't engage with him. Dont get into discussions on text. Just ignore and dont be involved. And stop being a doormat for goodness sake.

seriousandloyal · 17/01/2021 08:50

Give him the cold shoulder OP. You've done the hard part breaking free of him, well done you. Now just freeze him out! You are not his servant to be sorting out his mum's presents etc. Good luck!

smoothchange · 17/01/2021 08:52

@MentalBreakdownComing

Because she is my child’s grandmother and I would hate for her to go without

Give her a present from you and/or your child then. Tell this prick to fuck off he sounds like a bloody 12 year old.

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