What do you think of these txts

[MentalBreakdownComing]

I left my husband recently after years of anger management issues, never hit me, but blowing up over small things, blaming me for things, making me feel about about silly things, being coercive and generally narcissistic.
I still deal with a lot of shit from him but I am a peacekeeper, probably a bit of a doormat and barely ever cause drama with him unless it involves our child. But I still get abuse from him.
What do you make of these messages I recieved today from him? Completely out of nowhere.
Just a bit of background about the “sleeping out and drawing on tits”
So I never slept out anywhere, I worked in a bar till 1am in a weekend. Maybe 2 times a month I would go out after work with my work mates and some friends, some of which were male, and we would go to a bar from 1-3 and then some of the girls and boys lived in shared accommodation, (students) so we would go and carry on drinking there. I would sometimes get home at 5am. I know I’m hindsight this is not the best way to carry on but I was just having fun with friends. As for the drawing on my tits 😑 no one drew on my tits, his workmate was there once and drew a smiley face on my neck!

He’s out of order

Your behaviour out until 5am every other weekend would cause an avalanche of LTB if you were the husband though

But yes. You’re not together you don’t owe him any admin, or responses to anything nasty

Yuk what a prince. My advice would be to block him and create a new email address. Tell him he can email you regarding your child. And ignore anything else. He sounds really thick from those couple of text messages!

If you're getting a new number, change everyone else to the new number and keep your old one for him. He's far more likely to figure it out the other way round and then he has both numbers for you.

He sounds incredibly childish. I agree with others, tell him to sort his own present out for his own mother! Don’t get sucked into his drama!

I’d send his mum a huge black dildo and a very rude birthday card from him and some love pyjamas and biscuits/tea/chocolate from me n the kids

@Whiskysoda

I’d send his mum a huge black dildo and a very rude birthday card from him and some love pyjamas and biscuits/tea/chocolate from me n the kids

Hahah love it!

In the nicest way I can say this- I think you can do a lot better— he sounds both a bit dumb and childlike. I see guys like this in town arguing with their partners— the woman always look so frazzled and unhappy -

I agree with what most PP have said.

You need the grey rock method here!!!

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.purewow.com/wellness/gray-rock-method%3famphtml=true

Firstly, well done for leaving him. I bet it was bloody hard to get away as he is clearly a nasty piece of work.
He seems to think he still has some control or say in how you live you life and any reply you give him will only feed into this narrative in his twisted head. My advice would be to only talk to him about your child, and if there is a way you can avoid that (via family or lawyers) I would do that. Stop acting like a wife to him. Do not buy things for his mum on his behalf, dont get drawn into his messages. Just don’t reply.
He will go mental of course and send all kinds of abuse, but eventually he WILL wear himself out.
Good luck op, I know how soul destroying it can be dealing with this type of shit.

Agree with PPs. Just don't respond when he gets shitty. By messaging him back, you're fuelling the fire. There's little point arguing over the past... it's done. I'd be inclined to keep messages solely about the DCs and very factual and unemotional. Ignore anything else.

I can see why you left him. You sound a lot more literate than him. I generally find that men who write in that rough, manipulative manner are rough, manipulative men.

Seriously, what is it about a certain type of person who thinks they're above formulating their words correctly?

@MynephewR

OP these messages read like you are still in a relationship. He starts by asking you to sort out his mum's birthday gift (which he definitely should not be asking and you definitely should not be agreeing to) and complaining that you don't put kisses on messages

Don't engage, only talk to him about stuff that involves your DC. He is acting like you are still his partner and you are responding like you still are.

It should go like this:
Ex - forgot about mums birthday, can you sort her a card and voucher?
You - erm no, of course not. We are not together anymore that is your responsibility. Anyway what time are you picking DC up on Saturday?
Ex - oh you're so nasty, never loved me, bla bla bla
You - (nothing)

This 100%

I’m sorry but I don’t understand why A) you’re answering his messages at all B) why on earth you’re buying his mother a present off him, a grown man and C) why you’ve came on here admitting you’re a doormat for a man you’re longer with.

These messages read like you’re still in a relationship. Stop doing favours for him and stop conversing with him unless it’s to do with the children.

Don’t put kisses on his messages and ignore any arguments he tries to start. My ex does this with me too - it’s a way of trying to get to us and because they are angry and bitter we left!! I mean my ex and me split 5 years ago and he STILL does this! At first I would bite and argue but these days when he does it I pause for a moment and then ignore the messages. Then once he (and I) have calmed down I usually get a message about DC and things go back to normal.

Just remember him insulting you and who you are as a person is because he’s trying his best to make you out to be a crap person because he still loves you!

Why the actual fuck would you continue to order his mum a present from him when he was so bloody rude to you?! Sign the children's names if you must. Not his.

Do not take responsibility for gifts from him for anyone again.

Good, he's not very literate, is he?

Block him, get him to sort out his family's presents, and ignore him in future.