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Original poster

Money worries

70 replies

Sassywatch · 13/01/2021 18:14

Hi everyone,

I’d like some help and advice.

My partner moved in with me where I own the house and he agreed to pay me rent and bills.

His house has tenants in and they are paying him rent.

We’ve kept everything seperate in that sense. I get nothing from his property and he gets nothing from mine. We are only 18 months in so we’re not ready to buy together yet.

He pays about 25% of my house costs.

He has decided that he does not want to pay anything other than a share of the bills “as I’m paying the mortgage anyway”. I don’t see this is fair or right in that he is happily benefiting from his tenants paying his mortgage but doesn’t take the value in paying for a roof over his own head.

In challenging further, he wants to put said “rent” in a savings account for our future and should we ever split, we go 50/50 on the savings.

I was brought up to pay my way and I’m feeling used. Should I be?

OP posts:
ivfbeenbusy · 13/01/2021 18:24

Well if he contributes towards your mortgage he will acquire a legal financial interest in it irrespective of whether it's solely in your name or not

So I actually agree with him - your homes are by far your biggest asset so best to keep them protected and separate

TeddyTop · 13/01/2021 18:28

So, basically, he’s living for free?

If so he’s very clever and is taking you for a mug.

However don’t understand your last paragraph where he is now offering rent - but wants it back as savings should you split up in the future?

Either way it sounds you’re being used!

TeddyTop · 13/01/2021 18:31

What a cheeky f. - as the saying goes.

Quartz2208 · 13/01/2021 18:34

So you are paying all your mortgage and he is not only not paying any mortgage or rent but getting rent back for his own house?

Suggest a joint savings account for that amount and if not you have an answer

BackwardsGoing · 13/01/2021 18:35

If you can't agree on an approach to finances you aren't compatible. Suggest he moves out and you either end the relationship or go back to dating.

Dunnowhatsgoingon · 13/01/2021 18:36

He's essentially getting rent from his property and paying only towards bills which means he's profiting from living with you. The whole putting the rent into a savings account which he potentially gets half of still doesn't leave you any better off and you can't access it. I think you need to have a serious discussion about the situation and if he doesn't play fair I would advise that he live somewhere else. Just think, if this is him now, what would he be like further down the line? I've had this before where I was with an ex-partner. He lent me money but equated it to the same as me paying for things which led to me borrowing money from him. Do yourself a favour and have the chat now and make him pay rent and not towards your mortgage.

freezedriedromance · 13/01/2021 18:36

If he pays towards your home for anything other than bills he could gain a beneficial interest regardless of it just being in your name. The safest way to avoid him having a claim on your property is for him to just pay bills.

TeddyTop · 13/01/2021 18:37

I wouldn’t get a joint savings account Quartz - either person could empty it! Really he’s a Cocklodger by any other name.

BackwardsGoing · 13/01/2021 18:37

Also I don’t see this is fair or right in that he is happily benefiting from his tenants paying his mortgage but doesn’t take the value in paying for a roof over his own head.

Presumably he's paying extra insurance, maintenance and tax as a LL. Plus if he sells he may have a CGT liability so it's not entirely cost free for him.

freezedriedromance · 13/01/2021 18:38

Could he not pay ALL bills and you pay the mortgage? They may be fairly similar in price rather than him paying a "share" of bills.

Redflaggs · 13/01/2021 18:38

He is to pay rent where ever he lives and if he feels that he doesn't then he is making you choose him or what is right.

He is an adult!!! He should pay 50% regardless of a mortgage or not.

My friend bf pay rent on a flat share. She own the four bed house ( family left her some money) so she split the house in to share accommodation and still expected him to pay.

And he did.

Quartz2208 · 13/01/2021 18:39

@TeddyTop

I wouldn’t get a joint savings account Quartz - either person could empty it! Really he’s a Cocklodger by any other name.
No the point was whether he would be willing too and I suspect he isnt which means he doesnt mean what he is saying

Although you can get accounts that do need both signatures

Bluebell9 · 13/01/2021 18:39

I'd be rethinking the relationship of this is his attitude to money and fairness

TeddyTop · 13/01/2021 18:40

Even if he’s paying just bills he’s benefitting massively and effectively investing for his future. Let him pay half rent received from his property to the OP for it to be equitable. If he doesn’t want to do that they’re not partners - he’s just a part time lodger/cocklodger etc.

category12 · 13/01/2021 18:40

Yeah, I like pp's idea, that instead he puts the rent money from his house into a joint account you agree to share equally if you split - or equal shares of it into your individual accounts. Seems like he intends to feather his nest mightily while not giving you any benefit of it.

I'd speak to a solicitor about him potentially gaining an interest in your house depending on what he's paying you as well if you haven't.

Dawnlassie · 13/01/2021 18:41

If you were single your costs would be the same. I dont see what the issue is. I agree with others that its not the best idea him paying to your mortgage.

StephenBelafonte · 13/01/2021 18:42

He agreed to pay rent and bills and you need to tell him to stick to the original agreement or F off.

You had an agreement for goodness sake.

TeddyTop · 13/01/2021 18:42

You could call it the CF fund! Seriously, as with Bluebell I’d be considering the whole relationship with his completely selfish attitude.

sabrinathemiddleagewitch · 13/01/2021 18:43

He needs to split the rent with you to make it remotely even

Chloemol · 13/01/2021 18:52

He lays 50% of the bills and a sum for rent. You have a rent book set up and sign it off each month so in effect he is a renter and has no claim on your property

You have no way of knowing that he will in fact share the money in the savings account with you if anything was to happen, and he is gaining as his tenants are paying his mortgage

He pays rent to you. End of

Somethingmavelous · 13/01/2021 18:53

Cock lodger!

Palavah · 13/01/2021 18:57

@freezedriedromance

If he pays towards your home for anything other than bills he could gain a beneficial interest regardless of it just being in your name. The safest way to avoid him having a claim on your property is for him to just pay bills.
He could also pay rent as a lodger.
Skyla2005 · 13/01/2021 19:00

He should be paying half of your outgoings just the same as you

foxhat · 13/01/2021 19:04

If he's happy with that sort of arrangement how about you move into his house and rent yours out? Then just pay 50% of the bills at his.

Chel098 · 13/01/2021 19:05

@BackwardsGoing

If you can't agree on an approach to finances you aren't compatible. Suggest he moves out and you either end the relationship or go back to dating.
I agree.