Crap in bed

[Crappysex]

Hi basically I'm thinking I'm crap in bed
I lost my virginity late and the guy told me it was shit and got rid of me after a few shags
When my marriage was failing he told me the sex was crap when we were having fertility treatments, thanks mate.
I then had 2 one night stands and neither of them have ever got back to me so yeah I'm summising I'm shit in bed

Why do you think you are crap? Is there's anything you aren't sure on or did they just say crap? Because unless you did all the sex acts / positions with each guy how can they comment on you being crap?
Sounds like men just been dismissive, hiding their own insecurities or them believing sex is like the porn they watch!

Yeah it is a weird age 😂😂. When me and my ex split and told me I was shite in bed (he left me for someone else, to really add insult to injury), I thought this is my life now. But really it isn't! Even if me and my partner split up I will endeavour to find great sex again 😂. You're really not alone, I've been there. I'd still say I'd still choose my vibrator over a man though 😉.

Well I've been told its crap twice so I'm guessing it's TRUE or a factor why no on wants me

Well looking at it objectively, how active a participant are you when you have sex? If you mostly just lay there then it may not be the most exciting, but on the other hand, if you are forcing yourself to do lots of things you are clearly not comfortable doing then its not going to be great either.

I dont go on top as im so uncomfortable doing it that its just awkward for both of us. Could something like this be at play?

I think there are things that make you ("one") objectively a bit rubbish in bed.

For a man, manhandling breasts or jabbing away at a woman's bits, trying to enter her (with fingers or penis) when she's not ready, coming too fast and then going straight to sleep. For a woman I guess it would be lying there like a plank of wood, not knowing how to handle a penis, worrying about whether your stomach is sticking out rather than getting into the mood.

I don't disagree that chemistry plays a big part, but if you do think your technique is letting you down there are plenty of books or internet sites that will help you out.

Also experimenting on your own to find out what works for you will help you to have a better experience with a partner. Your sex life definitely isn't over at 34 - unless you want it to be.

It's definitely a compatibility thing. I was a Virginia when I met DH and he's older and more experienced so I thought I was gonna look a right wally but he knew how to teach me what to do, explained what he liked, asked what I liked, we took it slow and didn't rush anything and voila his cock didn't fall off and I didn't have to lie still while he writhed around (not envy). Talking helps, trust helps, being open about likes, dislikes, kinks, etc helps, him not being an utter twat helps.

The chances are the blokes who got to shag you got too lucky and felt a little emasculated You'll find a good 'un who lasts longer than 3 minutes. If not I can recommend some heavy duty double A's

It's just an easy put down. Like saying you're ugly or fat. My advice would be to forget hoping to find something genuine from one night stands and wait for someone who is genuinely nice and into you.

I always found it overrated to be honest. Previous partners of mine would probably say the same about me.

I was 38 when i met DH. I had only ever had one sexual partner( abusive exh) who never wanted sex and when we did lay there like a stone, not making a sound and never touching or kissing me. Once it was over he would go straight to sleep without a thought about me. He also cheated- a lot. By the time i was in my thirties i honestly though good sex didnt exist, it was just in books and movies. I told now DH long before we slept together that i was sure i would be a disapointment- i didnt evenknow how to kiss as i never had been kissed !. He assured me i wouldnt be, he loved me and fancied me like mad and we would take our time- and we did. We spent months just kissing and holding hands before we DTD, and it was bloody incredible. My horrible ex now has another failed marriage and has been single for 5 years. Fact is, anyone who makes you feel bad in bed is a horrible person. It has no reflection on you at all. Instead of saying you never want to have sex again, look at it as you want really good, fulfilling sex with someone great who will make you feel great about it afterwards. You bloody deserve that- go and find it !!!

I've been online dating and its dire. Not many men want a single mum so that goes against me sometimes.

I’ve always thought I was terrible at sex (very strong BJ game though ). I never came through penetrative sex and it had always been a bit beige, however, I hit my late 30s and met my current DP and sex is explosive. I love it, I cum every single time, he is very very obviously into it. He tells me that I’m amazing at sex. It isn’t me though, it’s him or maybe us together.

Surely "crap in bed" is just words used as an insult. There's selfish or uncaring in bed (and probably out of it). Can't see who'd want that. There's incompatible in sexual desires. If you've no common ground then at least one of you is going to be disappointed by the experience, if not both of you. Reckon you need to find nicer people to have sex with OP. People who, if it's not working out, will think how to improve it or who'll think a situation isn't for them. Instead of people who's default, whenever something doesn't go their way, is to insult the other person.

Being crap in bed is a bit of a myth I think. You only need 3 things to be amazing at sex:

1. Know what you want
2. Know what your partner wants
3. Be comfortable with your body

Do/did you have these 3 things?

I only go out with overgrown toddlers

In my opinion good sex depends in greater part on the man. If he is crap, lazy, awkward, teeny weeny, clumsy, creepy- there is not that much a woman can do. When a woman is crap, a man can still lift you, turn you, put you in the right angle, ‘fuck your brains out’. I had so many terrible ‘lovers’ I could think i was crap in bed. The good one finally came along and i am amazing in bed😎 so i think it is possible you are crap, but the greater chance is they weren’t that good and you haven’t clicked in that way with your perfect match yet. I was in a 10 year relationship where sex was so crap i could think it was me

I lost my virginity late and the guy told me it was shit and got rid of me after a few shags
Breaking news - Virgin is Not Sex Expert

When my marriage was failing
... your ex was a nasty git, same as all people whose marriage is failing.

It's not like we are born either good or bad at sex. If you think you need to up your game, there are plenty of tips online.
My other tip would be to go for men who are more intelligent and have better manners.

I wish I was young again and could start again

Hmm. Depends id say Crap is in the dark ? Holding self tense and missionary?

Try oral sex both ways, make sure u know how to achieve the big o. Then try u on top then reverse then behind and then legs up. Well away. Dress up in suspenders ?

If you're holding self stiff and worrying what you look like then maybe why? Other than that ignore them

You have low self esteem and confidence in yourself, you need to work on that and believe you are better than you think you are. If you go around saying no one wants a single mum and you're crap in bed then that is what you believe, change your mindset to you have gained experience and know what you like in bed, think about your best qualities as a person, confidence is attractive, your lack of it is holding you back.

OP, when a man says you’re shit in bed he means one of the following:

1. I’m trying to hurt you.

1. She wouldn’t let me do anal.

1. I jumped on and fucked her as hard as I could and she still wasn’t happy.

1. She didn’t make porno noises.

Most men are shit in bed OP. Most of them couldn’t give a fuck whether the woman they’re shagging is having an orgasm or tensing up in pain. I’d no more trust a man’s assessment of a woman’s shagging ability than I would trust Boris Johnson to raise my child. Try sleeping with a woman instead, it’s much better and you’re far more likely to have an orgasm.

I'm too old to have another child so most men wouldn't want a relationship with me. I'm at an odd age

@Crappysex

I'm too old to have another child so most men wouldn't want a relationship with me. I'm at an odd age

That’s not actually true and quite hurtful to women who are 34 or older and still hoping to conceive their first.

Many of us had children in our 40s with zero intervention or help. Same for our mothers, grandmothers and great grandmothers. It’s normal for women to be fertile into their 40s.

34 year olds are categorically not too old to have children with.

There’s actually hardly anything you are too old for at 34. You need to reframe your thoughts.

Old 34??? I'm 31 and not old!! Buy some new make up id suggest the double wear and concealer and some nice lipstick and take up jogging. Improve your mind set

Practice makes perfect! Aparantly I wasn't very good at bj's until my partner told me how he liked it. Just ask if there's anything special he would like. They don't usually tell you so it's hard to know.