Could he be having an affair with his manager?

[Mummabearofthree]

DP started a new job back in July. He is quite close to his manager, talks about her a lot in everyday conversation and he seems to get a lot of good treatment at work. He works in a supermarket. Recently the other managers were in talks of sacking him but this woman convinced them to keep him on as he’s such a good worker (he’s late a lot and has had a fair few days off). She’s given him the gold star award and has given him chocolates for free as well as crates of beer 🙄. The other day he had to take my pink lighter to work as his wasn’t working, I said if you’re not comfortable showing it just hide it, he said oh it’s just (This woman) who’ll see it so I’m not bothered. I haven’t mentioned anything to him yet as I don’t know if I’m just paranoid... my spidey senses are definitely tingling. He’s also recently downloaded a messenger that connects with his contacts, the messages self destruct after the other persons read them...

May I add he recently changed his shifts so he could be on with her as the other managers don’t like him (I’m guessing it’s because he’s the pet!)

Not enough to go on there.
He could just have a friend at work. At first read, there's nothing that makes me think, oh sorry that sounds like he is definitely having an affair.

@WiseOwlRelaxing

Not enough to go on there. He could just have a friend at work. At first read, there's nothing that makes me think, oh sorry that sounds like he is definitely having an affair.

I probably should’ve mentioned he left his last job due to having an affair with a co worker.

The gifts and the messaging app wouldn't fill me with confidence, honestly. I would also be concerned that he's a slack employee. The lateness, all the days off. What's that about?

I probably should’ve mentioned he left his last job due to having an affair with a co worker.

While when you were together?

@Aquamarine1029

The gifts and the messaging app wouldn't fill me with confidence, honestly. I would also be concerned that he's a slack employee. The lateness, all the days off. What's that about?

He’s had a fair few days off I haven’t known about. When I’ve looked at his payslip he’s done less hours than his contracted (and he hasn’t had the days off with me). When confronted he says it’s a problem with payroll. Now he’s put a password on his payslip.

@Aquamarine1029

I probably should’ve mentioned he left his last job due to having an affair with a co worker.

While when you were together?

Yes it started in may and finished when he switched jobs. I was completely oblivious and missed a lot of signs, that’s why I’m probably reading into this now.

We have been together for 6 years.

Yes it started in may and finished when he switched jobs. I was completely oblivious and missed a lot of signs, that’s why I’m probably reading into this now.

Well, I'm sure you've heard the expression, "Fool me once..."

Your partner is an untrustworthy cheat. You should have left him after you found out the previous affair.

@Aquamarine1029

Yes it started in may and finished when he switched jobs. I was completely oblivious and missed a lot of signs, that’s why I’m probably reading into this now.

Well, I'm sure you've heard the expression, "Fool me once..."

Your partner is an untrustworthy cheat. You should have left him after you found out the previous affair.

We did split for a while, but I’d just had our daughter and I guess I needed the support.

Find another form of support. You won't get it from him.

@Aquamarine1029

Find another form of support. You won't get it from him.

I know that you’re right, I know I have a lot to think about.

Your boyfriend is a lazy cheat. Surely you can see that?

I can't think of any explanation for the behaviour you've described other than cheating.
Especially as he has form in an almost identical situation.
Really sorry you're going through this.
You gave him a chance. He's repaid you with lies.

@VodselForDinner

Your boyfriend is a lazy cheat. Surely you can see that?

Yes I can.

Kick the bastard out, op. You can make a much brighter future for yourself.

He’s probably been having days off to spend with her - hiding his pay slip is a huge red flag here

I have been blinded by him. Deep down I know he won’t change, I should stop expecting him too.

Has she got a pulse? If she has then yes he could be having an affair with her (and it sounds like he is).

Aye. Fool me once.

@Mummabearofthree

Are your children his?

Oh.what a nice lifestyle he is leading,away from you, many perks along the way too. It's make your mind up time now hopefully.

[quote popsydoodle4444]@Mummabearofthree

Are your children his?

[/quote]
Yes. 2 boys and a girl.

@1forAll74

Oh.what a nice lifestyle he is leading,away from you, many perks along the way too. It's make your mind up time now hopefully.

Yes it is. I hate feeling paranoid and insecure 24/7.

@Mummabearofthree

What an absolute shit he is.

You mention you've been together for 6 years and have 3 kids which means your kids are very young.So whilst your home alone looking after 3 small children he's out sleeping about.

He has no respect for you.Please know that none of this is your fault;the fault is entirely with him.

Do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering when the next affair will be?;this was my friends life for a long time,she stayed because she thought it was the right thing to do for the kids.She even married the arse after he had the affairs.

6 months into the marriage he was back up to his old tricks;he suddenly changed the location he was based at for work;said it was works decision to move him.They asked him to move on because he had an affair with a colleague and he got nasty with her when she ended it.Her brother phoned my friend and told her to keep her psycho husband away from his sister.

It was another 2 year before she plucked up the strength to end it.She found his behaviour psychologically and emotionally draining.