Look at the outside world (and the men in it). What do YOU want from it? What and who are you attracted to?
There have been two men in the past 10 years I was genuinely attracted to. They were both intelligent, professional whilst being a bit maverick, creative, funny, both had big personalities without being arrogant, both saw the best in others... I knew them both first beforehand. Very different from each other in some ways - they couldn't have been more different physically!
The first one, it didn't get past the first date because I shut down completely for the same reason as the last. Yet prior to that we would meet for coffee alone, go on nights out and holidays with others. I just couldn't do it 121. The second was the one I recently ended/sabotaged.
Sadly, the one I sabotaged, I have become really good friends with. We hang out, we are each other's support bubble, I'm going to his to stay this weekend. It makes me sad that i can be relaxed with him now. I don't care whether he thinks I'm attractive or good enough to be in a relationship with because we're just friends. We get on really now in a way we never did when we were together because of how I feel about myself 😔
As for the rest of life and the world.
Well if/when things get back to normal, it will be fine. I have a career, I have friends, I have hobbies, I volunteer. In the rest of my life, I probably don't care that often if other people think I'm attractive or not. They don't have to look at me if they dont like it. But it really affects how I feel about myself. And, obviously means I can't have a relationship. Which is really the only thing lacking.