Am I going mad?husband and single women

[Loola08]

Sorry but I need some opinions on this.my husband of one year has repeatedly kept in contact with single women he has had relationships with or flirty chat in the past.
He also friends a lot of single women on facebook and he will fixate liking all their photos etc.
I've spoke to him about it and he's admitted shoe on other foot he would be upset but it continues.
The most recent he had tried to arrange a date with a couple years back then recently he's been dropping her messages randomly, him contacting her not the other way round.I cannot take anymore of it.tries to make out I'm crazy every time. Says IM stalking but surely I shouldn't feel like this??
He has women friends that I have no problem with but others are random people he doesn't have any contact with then all of a sudden he will feel the need to talk to them.I feel hurt.no regard for my feelings at all.he's not hiding it either he just thinks it's ok to do I can't count how many times I've told him it upsets me.I honestly think I'm done with it all now

Well it's clearly not right is it. He's married. It's completely out of order and you are right to be done with it. I would be.

Oh and to add he was dating other people when we first got into a relationship. That I swallowed as it was early on and he cheated on his ex because he felt 'lonely'.
I was with someone 18 years and never felt the way I do now, this stuff was never an issue.

Why does he need the validation of other women when he has you?
You can’t change his behaviour, but you can change how you respond to it.

I wish I knew how to respond to it.I've tried ignoring, talking to him, it just carries on.

He's not a keeper.

This time round he kept saying oh that was ages ago he spoke to her when it was 3 weeks ago and again yesterday!plays dumb with it all!
I'm sure he thinks I'm incredibly stupid!

I think you need to end this before you have a child with him

We have a little boy, he's 9 months old.honestly I feel like a broken person and I needed to vent because I can't talk to anyone about this.I have 3 other kids too.
He's had no reason to do this other than his own self absorbency or to get an ego boost.

I wish I knew how to respond to it

Stop trying. Walk away.
He's doing this because he wants to and doesn't respect you enough to stop. He knows it hurts you but does it anyway...what does that say about him. He won't turn into a guy you can trust.

Agree with @AnyFucker
💐

I told him last night I can't live with it and he's had no respect for our relationship.I'm sure he thinks it's all just talk as we've had this conversation god knows how many times, but he tried to worm his way out with what are you talking about? To oh yeah I don't know why i talk to her, no harm in it etc.
It's all just brushed aside like it's no big deal.

Well, to be fair you are "brushing it aside" too because you are still there. Why would he change when he gets away with it ?

The only thing these inadequate men understand is when you walk away and mean it

I know you're right @AnyFucker I just didn't want to admit it.but there's no other choice now.I'm actually embarrassed by it all that I could allow someone to do this and let him make me think I'm the one with the problem.

You are not the problem.

You are not the problem

Hi Op
Your husband is being a Total head fuck.!!

I agree with @AnyFucker too,
Its that very old chestnut of "do as i say but don't do what I do".

your husband is staggering hypocrital and he knows it too,
He would never accept this kind of behavior if it was other way around,that's what struck me,

what you are going through its soul destroying he gets a thrill/kick of his ego being massaged and maybe that's not only thing, thats being massaged..

Op I dont think his behavior will change,
I think you need to read him riot act,and mean it, even to extent of kicking him out or moving out for him to know you mean business this time.!!
(He would need to have a shit ton of therapy sessions to see why he is like this and change his behavior and even then.

There is no guarantee he will change.!!

I think you far better off ditching him tbh,

He cheated early on and is now acting like a single man. When you object he manipulates you by playing dumb, downplaying, and calling you crazy.

Loola, he’s a faithless loser who diminishes you and destabilizes the family. He is not going to change, so show him the door asap.

I agree he won't change.he's not capable of commitment and I told him so.But I'm not about to put up with any more of it there's no boundaries and never will be.how long before oh I only slept with her once, I felt lonely or whatever other crap he will come out with.the best was I'm scared of losing you!yeah pestering other women is definitely going to make me want to spend the rest of my life with you!!!shocking!!

It sounds as if he is scared of losing you... and ex no 1.... and ex no 2.... and single woman he’s been pestering.... and... and ... and. Please don’t fall for his manipulation. For some reason he seems to want to string as many women along as possible. I’m sorry to say that my feeling is that if you end this with him, you will just create a vacancy, which will be quickly filled and you will then become ex no 3 in a long list of women he pesters. Please do whatever you can to protect your child snd yourself from this toxicity.

He isn't "lonely". If he were he would come home to you and to his son.
He is a cheater. A serial cheater. He cheated on his ex and he cheated on the girl he cheated with and he cheated on you. He will continue to cheat on you as long as you keep him.

There are plenty of fish in the sea. Throw him in the septic tank and raise your son to be honest and respect relationships.

It's been a relief to know that I'm not wrong in feeling damaged by this.I've allowed this to go on far too long and you've all told me what I needed to hear.
I can't understand some people's way of treating others and what they gain from it.if I don't want to be with someone I leave!!!

Just play him at his own game and show him a few blokes your interested in reconnecting with so the shoe is on the other foot.He has no respect for you..the fool!

@Chrissybobble I've tried that too told me it made him hurt and sad!
Just shows he knows what he's doing!

So why do you stay with him of he keeps doing it?

@seafog I was honestly made to believe that it was harmless that I need to pay him more attention that I am the cause of his problems.
This time I felt different because this woman has been sitting on his chat for about 3 years and he's just decided to start talking to her liking her pictures, little winky faces to comments telling her how great she looks.
I think it's damning this time and I can't excuse it.