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Original poster

Engagement Ring Advice

65 replies

MattRuns · 08/01/2021 11:30

Hello,

32 year old male here, hoping for some advice.

I've been talking a lot with my partner recently about engagement, and i've been planning on proposing in the next 2-3 months.

She's an ocean lover. Works in that area, and loves the beach. Whenever we go to the beach, she picks up sea glass and collects it. With that in mind, I had the idea of getting her this ring -

glasswingjewellery.com/engagement-rings/loryn-sea-glass-ring

When we've discussed rings in the past, she mentioned she likes the idea of re-use or ethically sourced things, and knows that her nana had a lot of rings and had thought about having one of those.

Should I respect her wishes with it, speak to her parents and see about proposing with one of her nanas rings, or go ahead and do my own thing for now, but as it's only £500, mention that she can pick the ring she wants when i propose?

It's really pig headed male I know, but I worry that her parents are going to think i'm cheap if i ask for a ring from them. They're financially well off and they're lovely people but I don't want to look like i'm being cheap about it.

OP posts:
donewithitnow · 08/01/2021 11:32

blatant advert Hmm

rhowton · 08/01/2021 11:33

Get one of the old rings, and take diamonds from it and make your own ring with the ocean glass in the middle.

SecondHandChandelier · 08/01/2021 11:35

Do you have reason to think they’d think you were being cheap? Or is that a generic anxiety, iyswim?
I can’t think of any of the parents of my friends (or myself) who would think that was being cheap. Though I can think of a few who wouldn’t like that their parents knew about the proposal before they themselves did! My husband proposed without a ring then we chose together.

MorbidPodcastFan · 08/01/2021 11:35

Lovely that youre thinking about this so much, youre clearly very thoughtful and keen to get it right.

How about you propose with her nanas ring then once she says yes offer to take her ring shopping / online shop together with your budget in mind. I wouldnt rush into the actual buying of the ring, its something fun you can do together.
I would also show her the option youve found here as its really well thought through by you but is quite a niche design.

Good luck, you seem like a catch :-)

SecondHandChandelier · 08/01/2021 11:36

Think that ring looks very overpriced for just glass, btw

Crystalvas · 08/01/2021 11:36

Just let her choose a ring. Problem solved.

FilledSoda · 08/01/2021 11:40

That ring would be a brave choice IMO.
Let her choose .

Rainbowshine · 08/01/2021 11:42

You can propose without a ring, and then ask her what she would prefer. After all she’s your equal partner and has a say in important things, doesn’t she!

Original poster
MattRuns · 08/01/2021 11:42

@donewithitnow

blatant advert Hmm
Haha, I set up an account asking questions about running to give myself a back story, then did this.

It was all an elaborate plan, but you didn't fall for it!

OP posts:
Original poster
MattRuns · 08/01/2021 11:43

@Rainbowshine

You can propose without a ring, and then ask her what she would prefer. After all she’s your equal partner and has a say in important things, doesn’t she!
Absolutely, and i've wanted to do this right from the start, I don't want to disappoint her and I want it to be special for her.

It's my stupid male bravado that's just stopped me going to her parents and saying this is what she'd like.

OP posts:
Yukaplant · 08/01/2021 12:30

This is so over priced! It's probably only worth 40 quid

littlefireseverywhere · 08/01/2021 12:35

Yes, ask her first. Then get a ring together.

seensome · 08/01/2021 12:37

Nice as a dress ring, maybe a birthday or anniversary gift but nothing beats a real diamond for an engagement ring, sorry but I think she might be disappointed.

Yukaplant · 08/01/2021 12:39

Definitely diamonds just make sure it's ethical if that's important

Dontweallfeelthiswaysometimes · 08/01/2021 12:44

Looks like that ring has quite a premium for better workmanship and a bit of gold.

Propose with a pretty ring off Etsy - one nice enough to be a birthday or Xmas present anyway - and then talk to her about what she'd like for the "real" ring - she could alway narrow it down to a shortlist and then you can propose again, safe in the knowledge that, well, you're already engaged ;)

bluebell34567 · 08/01/2021 12:44

it doesnt look like an engagement ring.
ask her idea.

Changedforthisyear · 08/01/2021 12:51

I really hate that ring, I wouldn’t risk it OP.

ArtfulScreamer · 08/01/2021 12:53

Search sea glass ring on Etsy there's loads a hell of a lot cheaper than the link you've posted. Propose with that ring but make it clear it's a prop and you can choose a ring together.

sqirrelfriends · 08/01/2021 12:58

It's nice but honestly it looks like something from accessorise.

Maybe look for something vintage or aim to repurpose an old piece you have?

JemimaTiggywinkle · 08/01/2021 12:59

I would propose without a ring and see what she wants to do. Me and DH went ring shopping after we got engaged as I wanted to chose it.

She might feel differently, but personally I wouldn’t want my partner to speak to my parents about getting engaged, before the proposal.

Pissoffbikes · 08/01/2021 12:59

That's really not an engagement ring sorry.

tanstaafl · 08/01/2021 13:01

I’m missing something here, but what’s with talking to her parents about the ring?

Also, if she says yes to marriage then wants rings in the £2k or upwards price, is that ‘ok’ OP?

You seem hung up what her parents might think of you based on the ring value.

jb7445 · 08/01/2021 13:03

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Aurea · 08/01/2021 13:04

Unfortunately the skinny silver band will not last a life time. Silver is not durable.

Congrats to you both in advance!

tofuschnitzel · 08/01/2021 13:08

@Pissoffbikes

That's really not an engagement ring sorry.
You can use whatever you like for an engagement ring, this way of thinking is very old fashioned. You also definitely do not need to have a diamond ring to make it a proper engagement ring. All that matters is that the person wearing the ring likes it. That's it.

Propose without a ring, and then let your partner decide if she wants to use a ring from her grandmother, or purchase a completely new ring.