Engagement Ring Advice

[MattRuns]

Hello,

32 year old male here, hoping for some advice.

I've been talking a lot with my partner recently about engagement, and i've been planning on proposing in the next 2-3 months.

She's an ocean lover. Works in that area, and loves the beach. Whenever we go to the beach, she picks up sea glass and collects it. With that in mind, I had the idea of getting her this ring -

glasswingjewellery.com/engagement-rings/loryn-sea-glass-ring

When we've discussed rings in the past, she mentioned she likes the idea of re-use or ethically sourced things, and knows that her nana had a lot of rings and had thought about having one of those.

Should I respect her wishes with it, speak to her parents and see about proposing with one of her nanas rings, or go ahead and do my own thing for now, but as it's only £500, mention that she can pick the ring she wants when i propose?

It's really pig headed male I know, but I worry that her parents are going to think i'm cheap if i ask for a ring from them. They're financially well off and they're lovely people but I don't want to look like i'm being cheap about it.

"oval rare turquoise sea glass".... Rare? Plenty of it where I live. Completely overpriced tat. 500 quid for what is essentially a silver ring is insane. Whilst the thinking is sweet, the product is terrible. Let her choose one she will really like.

@tanstaafl

I’m missing something here, but what’s with talking to her parents about the ring?

Also, if she says yes to marriage then wants rings in the £2k or upwards price, is that ‘ok’ OP?

You seem hung up what her parents might think of you based on the ring value.

Hey - no worries, i'd be talking to her parents as they're currently in possession (i'm assuming) of her nana's rings, and thats what she would like.

If she's actually said that she would like one of her Nana's rings as an engagement ring, I would suck it up and talk to her parents about it. Make it clear you're more than happy to buy her a ring but this is what she's said she'd like, and how would they feel about you proposing with one?

Or I'd get a seaglass ring and propose with it as a prop, making it clear it's a gift to her but she can choose her own engagement ring as well if she likes.

@ArtfulScreamer

Search sea glass ring on Etsy there's loads a hell of a lot cheaper than the link you've posted. Propose with that ring but make it clear it's a prop and you can choose a ring together.

Great idea. Good luck Op!

Thank you all for the help! I like the idea of a cheaper option on Etsy as the prop.

That’s not a nice ring and very overpriced!

I had my engagement ring made using the stones from my mums engagement ring. It didn’t cost much more than the ring you linked to and it has an emerald cut sapphire and 10 diamonds!

My husband proposed using a cheap ring that I wore until my actual ring was made.

I would just speak to her about what she'd like and ask her if she wants to choose something together or if she wants to be surprised (and then possibly run some ideas past her). I couldn't have imagined anything worse than my husband surprising me with a random ring that I had no input in. I love my engagement ring, it's very unique, and we decided on it together, but an engagement and marriage is a joint decision and it's something you should together make sure you're both happy with the decisions you're making, even the minor ones, like a ring.

The perfect solution....by the glass ring (one that is actually properly priced) ,use as a ring until you can sort out her Nana's ring.

In terms of her nans ring you may need to
Resize it
Replate it
Have a professional clean of whole ring and diamonds
You may want to update the ring and include pave stones on the band etc
Just be careful that it might be sentimental but the ring might be a tad old fashioned.
You could go to a jewellers together and decide on a little redesign update which would mean you both have input

This seems more reasonably priced: sadiejewellery.co.uk/shop/rings/sea-glass-sea-foam-uk-size-j/

Put her wishes above your ego. Simple. If you can't do that then you shouldn't be marrying her.

I would get an aquamarine and diamond ring (one with a good colour though) as an engagement ring. Sea glass is not very "clebratory" somehow.

Aquamarine is getting much rarer in a good colour, is the colour of the sea and is an amazingly beautiful stone.

Something like this: www.suelanejewellery.co.uk/products/modern-platinum-pear-shape-aquamarine-and-diamond-stacking-engagement-ring-plr22

Or this for more traditional. www.diamond-boutique.co.uk/ceto-aquamarine-ring-html

That seems way overpriced for a glass ring. I would go with your partners preference for one of her Grans rings

@Lemonpiano

Put her wishes above your ego. Simple. If you can't do that then you shouldn't be marrying her.

Good point - thank you!

"Once had love and it was a gas,
Soon found out he proposed with sea glass"
Blondie

Just propose, no ring needed. Don't talk to her parents about Nana's rings - your gf may very well have been rehearsing the "could I please have Nana's ring dps, the once with the massive diamond in?" for years.

If you negotiate and they supply the 'wrong ring' she'll be furious!

Also, I like the sea glass very much but I would go for a special commission. An eternity ring in sea glass in gold/platinum would be awesome!

If you want to go the sea glass route, I would have a piece she found made into a ring by a local jeweler.

I work in a jewellers. My advice would be not to have an engagement ring in silver. It's a very soft metal and easily damaged. For something you want to wear every day for the rest of your like you year want a more hard wearing metal, like gold or platinum.

sea glass and silver will last about a year of daily use. Buy a cheaper sea glass item (a pendant would last longer) to propose and ask what she'd like on her hand.

Definitely a cheaper version of that ring would be best. My now DH proposed with a lovely Claddagh ring and then I picked my engagement ring. If he’d used a £500 ring I would have ungrateful to pick a new ring.
Good luck with it!

If she wants her nans ring, why don’t you do that? I get you think her parents might call you cheap. BUT if she’s expressed that desire to you she’s probably told them what she wants to (or at least her mother). IMO you’d get points from them for listening to what she wants tbh.

that is COMPLETELY overpriced!

and the glass has been reshaped by hand, so not completely 'sea glass'

I loved choosing my engagement ring with my other half OP - I’d definitely recommend getting a cheaper sea glass ring then seeing what she’d prefer once you’re engaged.

Sea glass ring or family heirloom are two quite different things, so I don’t really see how you could get this exactly right otherwise.

Honestly, you really don't need a ring to propose with.

I love the sea too and would be very happy with a blue stone engagement ring. However, if someone presented me with this, I’d be really disappointed. It looks so cheap.

Sorry but you do need a ring to propose with. I mean who disappointed would you be if your fiancé couldn't be arsed to get even a stop gap ring ...jeez!
If I were to propose I'd buy a ring!