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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Watched Normal People. Realised "healthy relationships" as described by the stringent standards of Mumsnet are unrealistic and rare as hens teeth.

78 replies

ChippyPickledEggs · 02/01/2021 16:21

It's a clunky title. But my point is that Mumsnet would have told Marianne that Connell had absolutely no respect for her and that she'd to pick her self respect up from the floor and LTB immediately, multiple times.

And it just made me think that the standards for relationships insisted upon here are unrealistic and bear little resemblance to how things tend to go in real life. I'm not talking about red lines like domestic abuse. But about humans being messy and scared and sometimes selfish.

Of all the long term relationships I know, there isn't a single one would be described as equal and healthy on mumsnet. Not one. There's always something: men not doing their share is a common one, or one partner who can drink too much and be a bit flirtatious perhaps. A mismatch in investment I see being very common, even in decades long relationships: a kisser and a kissee as my friend would put it. And at the beginning of relationships as well - things are often not that smooth sailing.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Wearywithteens · 04/01/2021 00:30

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Wearywithteens · 04/01/2021 00:36

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riotlady · 04/01/2021 00:44

God, how depressing to think a loving equitable relationship should be considered that rare or those basic standards high. This is why women end up in shitty relationships where the men don’t pull their weight, surely, because they’re told it’s unreasonable to expect more!

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