F*ck... its done isnt it

[tellietwotums]

almost 3 years.... never fell out, almost perfect, however, he STILL isn't divorced. ( wasn't the Ow they separated 4 years ago.
I cant call him anything other than a cock lodger. im still paying for everything in my home, ( i was anyway so its not additional expense) whilst he still pays all the bills on the family home and ExW works min ours on min wage.
I house him and his children EOW. his youngest is a nightmare and deliberately sabotages my dd toys etc. every week I'M REPLACING toys out of MY money for MY DD because his disney parenting will not allow him to chastise his princess.
its NYE which is a killer for me.. my abusive GF died this day and i always either get tiddly or go to bed... hes spent the night watching shit tv and left me to deal with dd and 2 sc, not to add that he hasn't been physically near me for almost 2 months Im not proud but the other night when he was sleeping i did go snooping through his phone, he is always on it ( turns out its work whats app groups with the lads and nothing suspicious) but to my dismay i found copious porn history... like 10 times per day.. whilst i'm getting the cold shoulder!
I dont mind porn, we have both spoke about it and admitted/ agreed to using it, however im feeling like an ogre when he clearly isn't interested in me and is getting off to a niche category! Obviously I cant bring this up as it shows i've snooped but i cant keep on pretending like were ok whilst hes sexually ignoring me, getting off in other places and what feels like taking advantage financially

If he dies the wife gets everything and you might not get to attend the funeral.
They are still married. You are supporting the lot of them.
You don't have to. You're getting nothing. Kick him out and change the locks. Move on.

Getting rid will boost your household income. He’s the cocklodger other cocklodgers aspire to be.

Almost perfect

Jeez, your standards are way too low. Find some self respect and get rid.

You need to get rid now his sponging off you and using u for free childcare on top of ten times a day porn how much worse can he get. Pack his bags let him go live in the house he pays for

You can have a relationship with him without living with him.

Fuck that!

'almost perfect' ???? No, it's perfect for him and shit for you.

The reason you've never fallen out is that you've behaved like an award winning doormat.

Why on Earth have you allowed this?

@thosetalesofunexpected

Best to not get involved with a married person ..!!!

What did you expect !!!

😕

Agreed. Biggest relationship failures were always the ones still married but separated.

No problem with a divorcee but I need that paper work before I invest in them.

Is he the father of your DD?
I would kick him out whether or not, but if he isn't her father then you never even have to set eyes on him ever again.
Get rid, then work on your self esteem.you do not need a man in your life.

@tellietwotums almost perfect?

Blimey I wouldn't like to read your version of a bad relationship !

It's not even nearly perfect. Raise your standards and get rid of him. Your Dd deserves better

It's a new year. New start.

Leave him in 2020. Start fresh without him dragging you down.

If almost perfect is a bloke who sponges off you, has you run round after his kid and prefers porn to you I would hate to think of your version of average !

Is he with you for a free ride and so you'll do the eow actual parenting?

Well hes got it great. Free accommodation and free childcare! Make 2021 your year to move on.

Your partner should enrich your life - he doesnt in any way.

He's using you. Get rid. Start 2021 as you mean to go on

New year new you!

Hope you've already ended it

Almost perfect - at being a cock lodger !

If he pays nothing, it is time for him to move out

He needs to be responsible for himself & his children

Have the children gone home ? You need to sit down and get this all out - nothing will / can change until you do.

Don't bother talking apart from saying "And we're done" the second he gets up

He will likely go back to his wife's home

Clear out all his stuff

Start 2021 from today - no more cock lodger

You WILL be ok

@TwilightSkies

He’s sucking the life out of you and draining your finances. The situation is working out pretty damn nicely for him though! Rid!!

And your DD is being forced to be second fiddle - in her own home - to his child! To repeatedly have her things destroyed, even if they are replaced, is horrible for her. You are teaching her that she is of little importance, and that a child who is spiteful and manipulative is the one who gets what she wants.

I don't doubt that you'r BF's kid has her problems - but they aren't your responsibility, and you certainly don't want to give your own DD the message that she is theire to be a doormat to someone else (as you're both demonstrating yourself, and allowing for her). You don't want to teach her that the way to get attention is to act like a little sh*t, either - which is another lesson she is learning,

Tell him his DD doesn't come again until she learns how to behave; give him a list of the toys/items you've had to replace and tell him you need the money for them: also tell him that he contributes financially or you are not prepared to subsidise him any longer and he can leave NOW!

And mean it.

Even if you aren't prepared to stick up for yourself, you must protect your DD from this toxic environment. The life lessons you're teaching her aren't good ones. Do you want this life for her in 20 years? I'll bet you don't!

Teach her to value herself - and do it by setting the good example that you value yourself, too - by getting rid of this parasite of a man.

Kick him out!

He’s a selfish using lazy selfish cock nostril.

Get rid ASAP. You and your daughter will be better off in every way.

Do it now. Before lunch. Don't spend another penny on this useless cocklodging Disney dad.

There is no question this man is using you. Want better for yourself, including the basics of respect and someone that considers your feelings.

For the sake of yourself and your daughter this relationship has to end. Your daughter is learning from you what a relationship is. Don't let her go forward in life thinking that this is acceptable. Imagine her 20 years from now accepting the same from her partner?

This man does not have our back. He has his, and his own alone.

It's very, very far from perfect. Get rid of him and start the new year afresh.

Your daughter will thank you for getting rid..

He's had plenty of time to contribute off his own back and hasn't so off he fucks.