To form a pact with first love?

[Changeandallthat]

NC for this. Ex wants us to form a pact. He's now single after a messy divorce and I'm happily married but still love ex. We were together over 20 years ago and together nearly ten years and both been long term with my DH and his ex wife for 20 years.

The pact is if we both end up sngle at the same time we get back together. What do you think?

Is it cheating? We chat online platonically. I have told him I will never cheat on dh. He respects this.

No. He wants to test the waters to see if you are up for an affair. Tell him you are not afraid of being single!

Do you want to be his back up last resort?
Very obliging of you if so!

It’s a pretty weird/disrespectful thing to organise behind your husband’s back. I wouldn’t be impressed if my husband had organised something like this, even if it’s unlikely to happen, I’d be a bit weirded out. And that aside it’s like something a twelve year old would do. But no it’s not cheating.

Nobody happily married would entertain this conversation

Your behaviour is bloody awful. Cut him off if you value your husband at all.

I thought the “pact” was the oath you took to your husband?.....call me old fashioned...🙄

Anne Boleyn got her bonce chopped off for contemplating something similar out loud.

Back off slowly. Like you would a snake.

Because that is what your ex is. Platonic chatting my arse. 🐍

Erm... you took vows!!??

I think I'd consider that cheating honestly, that would fit into the "emotional affair" bracket for me.

If you're considering entertaining this idea, are you happy in your relationship and with yourself?

That’s a weird pact. What if you don’t want to be with him at that point?

Agree with NotaCoolMum.

Don’t be so bloody stupid, he’s newly single and testing the water

Oh I missed that you’re married, then yep definitely cheating.

If a man did this with his ex girlfriend whilst married, he would be crucified on here

Are you planning on leaving your dh?

Wondering how happily married you are if still in love with your ex? Not judging, just wondering.

Eh? Why would you do that if you are supposedly happily married? Have you told your husband?

Are you 16 or something? There are so many things wrong with what you're contemplating. I feel sorry for your DH quite frankly. It's all pretty sick

Your poor husband.

If my husband had a pact with an ex like this, he’d be packing his bags.

Ask your husband and see what he thinks?

1940s has expressed it perfectly in 7 words

"Happily married but I still love my ex"

Sure

It’s like some shit rom com

Honestly you're already cheating and disrespecting your husband, do you think he'd be pleased to know you have an ex lined up if you ever split up.

Stop talking to him and get a grip or leave DH and be with the ex "you love so much" even though you're apparently "happily married"

Jeez.

Nobody happily married would entertain this conversation

I agree.

You're either not happy with yourself or not happy with your husband. I used to always chalk my issues up to an unhappy marriage and then I realised my mental health was the problem and I needed to stop chasing ego boosts (including emotional attachment to ex boyfriends).

You need to figure out what the core issue is here, because happy people don't do this. Have a conversation with your husband.

I thought the “pact” was the oath you took to your husband?.....call me old fashioned...🙄

^this!