Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

To rehome my dog :(

87 replies

Buggerofff · 30/12/2020 11:25

I've had my chihuahua prince for 8 years he has been my best friend ever since and I love him to pieces. However I am currently in a abusive relationship and he hates my dog I have been with my partner for three years. He hates dog hairs he hates how much attention he needs.

I have plans to leave my OH soon but I can't do it with my dog, I also don't think I'm stable enough to keep him either. I would love him to go to a nice family that can take care of him and he can relax properly without being scared every time OH walks past.

I have two DCS and I think leaving the family home with just me and them will be hard enough I can't really do it with a dog.

AIBU to rehome him?
I don't want to go and do it then regret it later just because of this bastard. But I also know I can't give him everything he deserves right now.

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 30/12/2020 13:57

Leave, with the dog.

If the dog then proves to be an issue, there are a variety of options from foster care, kennelling, home boarding, right through to rehoming.

You do not KNOW for certain that taking the dog with you, given it is a very small dog, is going to be any harder than rehoming the dog first, so I'd give it a go, because for your kids, losing their home AND their dog in one go is going to be pretty scary.

NativityDreaming · 30/12/2020 14:11

@Buggerofff

He's gone out and put my dog outside and locked all the doors so I can't let him in.
Call the police, they will help you leave.
BackwardsGoing · 30/12/2020 14:20

Call the police if he's physically locked you in.

smartiecake · 30/12/2020 14:24

Agree. Call the police. Are both your names on the house? Do yo have family who you can go to today? Who can come round with a locksmith? Until you can get something more permanent. Call family, friends, police. You dont need to do this on your own. You need to start talking to people and getting support in rl

crankysaurus · 30/12/2020 14:25

Call the police. They will also help with your dog but it sounds like you do actually need their help for you and quite urgently.

Locking you indoors, for whatever reason, is a really dangerous sign. You said you want to leave today, the police will help you with that.

TheD0gate1t · 30/12/2020 14:28

Please call the police for help and leave today, take your dog and as much of your and your children's things as you can and leave.
You can get help. You can be safe.

Bytheriogrande · 30/12/2020 14:41

Not much to add but Flowers do what you need to do for you and your children. Keep safe OP.

SirVixofVixHall · 30/12/2020 14:49

Agree call the police. Do you have a friend or family member who you can stay with ? Do you have a friend who would foster your dog ? As he is such a tiny breed it might be easier finding accommodation that will allow you to keep him, or a foster home or re-home, than it would be with a big dog.
It is very cold and he needs to be taken indoors, can a neighbour access him while you wait for the police ?

TillyTopper · 30/12/2020 14:56

Have him fostered - then you can take him back! I'm sure a charity like Dog's Trust would help you. Good luck OP.

smartiecake · 30/12/2020 14:57

Can a neighbour access him in the garden? Lift a fence panel? Can you open the window and shout for help? Please call the police now you and the dog are at risk

category12 · 30/12/2020 14:58

Call the police, op. If you're deliberately locked in the house by him, that's potentially false imprisonment and you may be able to use this opportunity to flee the relationship. Get help.

Livinginthecity · 30/12/2020 14:58

Your dog is lucky to have someone who cares so much about his welfare and its just as important to get him away from this vile abuser as yourself.

StrongTea · 30/12/2020 15:10

Hope you are okay. Call the police, hopefully he will get remanded or something and give you a bit of breathing space.

CrazyCatLazy · 30/12/2020 15:25

Oh god this is awful. I know you already know this but you need to leave, if he is out now try to make a plan, call DV helpline and the police firstly as you are imprisoned.
Try to get Prince fostered in the meantime, I promise you it gets better xx

SirVixofVixHall · 30/12/2020 15:43

I am so worried about all of you Op, you, your children and your tiny dog. I hope that you are safe now and the police are involved.

smartiecake · 30/12/2020 16:12

Are you safe OP? Have you sought help?

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 30/12/2020 16:14

Fostering is a great idea. All the best in escaping your situation. Flowers

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 30/12/2020 16:16

@Buggerofff

He's gone out and put my dog outside and locked all the doors so I can't let him in.
Call the police, OP.

Are there any windows that you could escape out of?

2021isgoingtobeasshitas2020 · 30/12/2020 16:49

Please don't rehome him. Get rid of your partner. He sounds very demanding?

EarthSight · 30/12/2020 18:10

Yep - have a look at foster care services so you can at least think you can have him back one day. A lot of kind hearted people would be glad to help out an abused woman in this way. Don't tell him your dog's being fostered though. Just tell him you've given him away and don't visit him at all until you are living safely in your new home.

It's a totally reasonable and good hearted thing to do btw - you're just looking out for your dog.

beenrumbled · 30/12/2020 18:13

Google Dogs Trust Freedom Project. They may or may not be able to help depending on where you are but if they can't help they may be able to sign post to other services

JoeCalFuckingZaghe · 30/12/2020 18:19

@Bookworming

Nasty *@GoldfishParade* and as for the other PP backing you, where did the OP say she was going to "tie the dog to a lamppost", her thread makes it evident that she loves the dog and feels that another home would be better for him, rather than the one he is on!

OP, what an absolutely selfless act you're taking, you clearly love your dog but you want to ensure he is safe and looked after before you plan your next move. I agree consider fostering, then when you're back on your feet, you may be able to bring him home. Good luck, keep strong and break free.

If you were referring to me I simply stated it could be possible that Goldfish meant abandon in the literally sense and provided an example of ways that people DO abandon their animals, sadly. I never once stated that OP said this. If you read I agreed with lots of other PPs that op needed to do what was best for her and her children. And that she was putting the dogs interest first.

And goldfish clarified she meant foster rather than rehome 100% if possible. Ironic you’re calling people nasty.

crankysaurus · 30/12/2020 18:38

I hope all's well, OP, for you and your dog.

Sundaypolodog · 30/12/2020 19:55

I found this for you livewell.telford.gov.uk/Services/1467 the cinnamon trust and this one www.dogstrust.org.uk/our-centres/shrewsbury/ it's in Telford
This too

www.hilbrae.co.uk/hilbrae-rescue-kennels/

MixMatch · 30/12/2020 20:14

Yours and your children's safety is much more important than a dog. It can be hard finding a place where pets are allowed and you shouldn't let a dog hinder you finding a safe place ASAP.

Fostering sounds like a good compromise where someone looks after the dog while you get away and sort things out. Then when everything is settled, you can take him back again. Worst case scenario you can put him up for adoption. It's sad but none of this situation is your fault, and being such a dog loving country and a popular dog breed means he'll definitely find a very loving home Smile