Hi, sorry this will be long.
My each and I split up 3 years ago after 25 years together and 4 DC after he was once again caught having an affair.
This 'lady' thought it was her duty to tell me as she had been duped into thinking that he was single but kept close to me and DC as it had 'mental health issues'.
I found the strength and let him go and he begged for months to come home and had a breakdown so I was perceived by his family of not being a better wife and saving the marriage.
I've now met someone and am very happy although we both have primary residency of our DC so cannot spend as much time together as we would love to.
I found out a few months ago that the person who ex had the affair with is back on the scene. I felt nothing and encouraged my dv to be nice and respectful to daddy's 'new' girlfriend.
My 16 year old DD has confided in me that on boxing Day daddy had his dp and sibling over and this person played hostess and has been fully accepted by them.
I feel so selfish and indulgent that this has devastated me.
My own family lived overseas since is was aged 19 and I stayed here because I was already with my DH and only returned last year, so my ex's family was MY family for 25 years.
Since the split, I have been gracious, kept them up to date with photos and news when DC are with me. I invited them into my home at birthdays, celebration and Christmas mornings to see the DC (last time being this Christmas morning).
I feel betrayed and haven't slept or eaten in two days.
This ow hurt me to get back at my ex for hurting her. She sent three pages of photo evidence and a letter and I can't believe they think it's ok. I know I should suck it up and my DP and parents have told me to stop going over and above for people who dont care about me.
When my exfil had an op last year, I walked their dog, did their shopping and took mil to a&e when she had chest pain. I just feel so hurt and so guilty for feeling like that when I have my own DP too. Honestly I wouldn't care if it was anyone other than her.