No message on Christmas Eve

[lollipoprainbow]

Aibu to expect a Christmas Eve message from someone I have been on lots of dates with since February? I saw him yesterday as he had to pop over to fix up a computer I was buying from him but I've heard nothing from him all day today. We live in different towns. I always want Christmas to be all romantic and lovely like Love Actually but the reality is very different!

You say in your op you’ve been seeing him for ‘lots of dates’ but you’re not ‘dating?’

Yeah, what she said ^

@lollipoprainbow have you kissed? Or is it two people just keeping each other's company? Kind of confusing as you say loads of dates but not dating yet you clearly want to

You replied to @Chocolate123 that you don't want him as a boyfriend and you don't want more.

I'm really confused.

...sorry what? So is this a friend? Is he aware you consider him to be someone you are going on dates with? You seem to think you’re together, sounds like he doesn’t?

I’m confused.

Are people really still going to pub? We haven’t had one open here in many months.

So your not in a relationship and your not even shagging ? That’s mates right ? I think if u want more you’d probably better tell him . Might get your romantic Christmas then 😉

Oh op, this is really sad. You have met up for platonic dates, but you thought it might turn into something more, and that you were important to him, but the lack of message and arrival of his ex has upset you. I think pp are right, you need to tell him how you feel. Or resign yourself to feeling like this regularly.

Not in a relationship no but he has stayed over many times and we have kissed and other stuff. I'm upset that he clearly isn't thinking of me tonight and is no doubt schmoozing with the ex. I kind of expected this to happen to be honest he's still very keen on her and I knew she was back for Christmas. The lack of message and her arrival have left me feeling crap.

How long has this been going on? It sounds like you’re describing that week or two after a date when you decide whether you want to date someone or not, rather than actually dating?

@Onjnmoeiejducwoapy since February

If he likes another woman he’s not into you OP. Save yourself further heartache hoping for something that’s not going to happen. And stop doing stuff or having meals with someone who’s hankering after someone else!

How old are you? Sounds like the ramblings of a teenager...

Oh dear. You've been on 'dates' which arent dates except when they are dates. But you cannot seem to define what a date is. Perplexing.

Said date, who appears to be intimate with you but hasn't had sex with you, has had the cheek to look elsewhere? On this holy night of Xmas Eve?

The Swine! The Cur!

How do I put this...Are you high maintenance?

@AnneLovesGilbert guess that's it in a nutshell yes ! Thank you

Op you are clearly holding out for something that isn't going to happen...I once dated a fuckboy like this and held on for every last text message let's just say it didn't end well! When someone shows you who they are by their actions believe them and don't hold out for what you think might happen.

Have a lovely Xmas x

Get rid of him and start 2021 with your self respect intact

Where are pubs open

I wondered that too @BeakyWinder but maybe parts of Cornwall or Herefordshire where it's Tier 1?

Sorry OP, best to face it as it is. Hope you have a nice Christmas and that you have good people around you. You don’t need anyone in your life who makes you feel like this. He’s completely in the wrong for messing around with you while telling you he likes his ex. Let her have him, he’s annoying. Focus on yourself and you never know who you might meet.

The pub? There's an open pub????

As my granny used to say

the road runs 2 ways

@BeakyWinder pubs are still open in tier 2 until Boxing Day anyway when we are all in tier 3 !

This sounds like a crap situation to be on OP

Men are generally shit at this kind of thing. Plus you're not in a relationship so these things can't really be expected.

You're setting yourself up for disappointment with this kind of thinking, OP. Sorry if that's sounds harsh.x.