Hey everyone! Im hoping someone can help me with this. I've literally asked everyone I know but I feel that everyone is too emotionally involved to give me a good answer. Its a bit of a long one so bare with me.
My ex boyfriend and I met on the first day of university and were very on and off throughout the first year or so but officially got together last October. We had a great year, so many laughs and good times, went on holiday together, he spent christmas with my family etc. I was truly very happy with him. Around April this year, I brought up the fact that he hadn't told his family about me (his family is Muslim) after 1.5 years of knowing me. He was very defensive about this and never told them but I was so happy with him that I accepted it as something which would happen in the future.
In september, after spending an amazing summer together, I began my year abroad in Spain. Personally I wasn't worried about our relationship suffering as a result of this. BUT around a week into me being there he began to bring up things which had happened in the period when we weren't together (I slept with someone else, however we had not been together for 6 months and he took me back 4 months after). He would begin to say things like 'I don't know whether I can do it anymore' or 'its disgusting'. For the first few weeks I allowed it and accepted the blame, but I really was very upset that he was being like this so long after we'd been together.
I barely knew anyone in Spain and it was a really tough experience for me, especially because he was the one I usually went to for advice. After the first few weeks, it became a bit of a pattern. He would be ok with me all week with all the usual 'I love you's' etc but then on the weekend he would do it again. It began to get a bit more hurtful too. He called me a 'slag', he told me 'any girl could replace you', 'you tell me you love me too much', 'you cry too much', 'you carry yourself badly and give off a wrong impression' etc. The list could go on...
Around mid October he broke up with me all of a sudden and then wanted me back immediately. I didn't want to break up so I took him back. We were then fine for a week and he did it again. This time I told him I wanted space, which he wouldn't give me. He would shout down the phone and if im honest, I was completely done with the whole thing so I just told him, stick with your decision.
From this day onwards he began begging for me back. He blamed everything he had been saying and the way he was acting on something called ROCD (relationship OCD) and said he was in a really bad place mentally. Obviously I appreciate that but im not really sure how all of a sudden he realised these things. For all of November, he would tell me he loved me, wanted to marry me, im 'the one' etc. I never wanted to break up with him, so hearing all of these things really made me confused, as you can imagine...
Now im very unsure what to do. He has apologised for everything he said and said he never meant it and it was just because of his mindset. He has said he will give me space to think. He is a lovely guy normally and as I said, I was so happy with him. However, he still has only told his Mum about me and not his Dad. He can't confirm when he'll tell his dad or if they would approve of me.
Does anyone have any opinions of this or advice for whats best to do? I go back to Spain next week and I really am at a loss...