Husband runs off to the office leaving me working with our 18m old

[LolaLolita]

We have an 18m old. My husband works at an ad agency and keeps running off on calls and into the office leaving me isolating at home with the kid and the noise and my job. He says it’s an important new client but he’s also constantly texting the young female client lead. What do you think? What should I do?

Childcare def required! We use nursery 4 days a week and not huge earners but childcare is a short term hit for long term gain. It is a couple of years of a high monthly bill BUT it keeps you in the work place/your own business going which means you remain employable/keep skills up to date/pension and NI contributions/promotion and salary increase oppertunities etc. It also keeps me sane and you can’t put a price on that 😂 I have tried to do some WFh a couple of times during a nursery bubble burst and its nightmare-your child and your job don’t get your full attention there are no winners! It’s a family expense that should be shared or from the family pot and allows you both to work to your best potential and removes the resentment, decent childcare (nursery or childminder) is worth its weight in gold!

You can't work from home with no childcare, it is impossible. Your dh is buggering off to the office because he realises it is impossible to wfh with an 18month old and you have been left holding the baby.

Your dc will suffer if you don't sort this out. No wonder they cry a lot, they want your attention.

@MrsBobDylan

You can't work from home with no childcare, it is impossible. Your dh is buggering off to the office because he realises it is impossible to wfh with an 18month old and you have been left holding the baby.

Your dc will suffer if you don't sort this out. No wonder they cry a lot, they want your attention.

OP, Your husband has left you literally to the childcare as this is what works best for HIM.

This is what selfish men do.

Your child needs to be in childcare.

You need support to do your job.

You need a good husband.

You do NOT have a good husband.

Protect yourself and your child.

OP, are you going to ignore everyone who's tried to be helpful or did you just post for sympathy (in which case I would suggest Mumsnet AIBU isn't the best place)?

If your work is flexible and you have decided you won't get childcare then you need to agree with your husband what his working hours are and work around that. Practically if he's in a job with irregular working hours then you may need to work whilst your child is in bed unless he's in a position where he can block out long periods of time. This is the reality of having two working parents and a child that needs supervision.

If you care about your career, get childcare.

Just to add, of course you can continue without childcare and working during his work hours but insisting he looks after your DD for periods of time during his working hours. I'd only advise doing that if his job doesn't matter i.e. you're fine as a family financially if he loses it.

So the plan was always, and was agreed that you'd work flexibly and do the childcare? You've figured now that doesn't work so time to look at nursery or child minder. I don't think op's husband is selfish for doing his job as was agreed. It's just the case that he cannot work entirely from home whereas op can. I'm sure both careers will benefit from some child free time though.

Childcare is a massive cost in the early years, something many suffer if they want a career or a job, but it does get better when they go to school and cheeper breakfast and after school clubs are hopefully available. Its shit, it takes loads of your income but I dont know of an alternative in a working household, if you both want or need to keep working. Sending you my sympathy, it's tough.

“ Some of these comments felt like the film “mean girls”. I pity your kids having some of you as their mother”

You need to put your child into childcare like a normal full time working person, paid for by both of you.

Or you and your partner need to agree to split childcare and both fit your hours in around your child's needs.