Is it ok for him to speak like this. Tone not words. Need a sense check.

[Accidentaltransfer]

Husband making microwave dinner (he usually cooks proper family meals but had a busy day so needed something quick for everyone). I've watched dc2.5 and dc1 from 9, all day. Husband been doing DIY.

While he microwaved meals, I asked for 10 mins to put clean sheets on our bed. Made him stressed out, he can't watch the children while microwaving meals. Told me dinner would be late. I said "fine, I can't do it now then but this is why we never have clean laundry. Whatever you're doing takes precedence and I never get time to do the laundry".

Him "fine, I'll do all the laundry"

Me "Im not asking you to do the laundry, I just need you to multi task (ie microwave dinner and watch the girls"

Him, growling/shouting at me, it was designed to be intimidatory even though what he said wasn't "I am multitasking, I've been multitasking all day!"

Me "don't speak to me like that in front of the children. I don't want them thinking that's ok"

Him, still speaking in he intimidatory voice "you push me and push me and push me and push me!" Then charged upstairs.

Is this just angry or is it worse?

Been arguing a lot. Been a very difficult year for us. We talked about it last night and he said it was mostly from him, he's been really stressed at work but it's not so busy now so next year will be better.

She said she felt intimidated - that it was an intimidatory tone and she repeatedly said he growled aggressively at her. That’s not what anyone wants from a partner. It has obviously distressed her - as otherwise she wouldn’t have posted.

As for her needing to grow up and stop putting petty squabbles on Mumsnet - what about people who take time out of their day to reply to someone putting petty squabbles on Mumsnet - what do they need to do?

But I agree with you - it needs to be discussed between the two of them.

@FATEdestiny

He has never spoken to you in that time before.

He used a snappy, nasty tone while you had an argument. Once. For one sentence.

This is a non-issue. You are massively over-reacting.

You are wrong. The dh is using this tone to intimidate and shut down any discussion; if the op doesn't stand her ground this could be the thin end of the wedge.

No one should be spoken to in this way.

@user878856488 I don't understand your reaction to my question. It's like you're fed up with me and I'm not sure why? I've posted on mumsnet, like thousands of other people, for some perspective and a bit of advice. I think your over the top reaction probably says more about you than my situation because I can't figure out why a stranger's question on an chat/advice forum has illicited such a strong response or why you keep returning to post your fed up replies?

Lots and lots of reasonable advice here. Thanks so much for that and for taking the time to explain to some posters why I may have posted in the first place.

We spoke this morning. I told him not to speak to me like that again. He told me why he was so wound up. We've agreed some changes to stop it getting to that point again. Today's been fine, a little chilly but not unpleasant.

@StephenBelafonte

Useless fucker (him of course). Can you swop him for tax credits?

Laughing out loud at this 😂😂