Would you date/marry a man without higher education?

[bunny85]

Just that really. If everything else was great, would it be a deal breaker for you? Let's say a man who only finished high school- no college, no uni. Would you?

@Bluesheep8

I want someone who will understand what I'm talking about when I discuss the Roman influence in Britain, or how I'm concerned about the potential erosion of human rights after Brexit, or just to joke about how dire halls were in first year, but none of us realised it. I dont want someone who thinks you use apostrophies to make plurals in English, or who votes the way his father voted because he's never thought about it. That would drive me mad and I'd rather stay single til I meet the right person.

And you seriously think that only with further education is an individual capable of exploring/discussing all of the above.
OK, I grant you they won't be able to speak with any kind of authority on "how dire halls were in the first year" but that doesn't sound like a particularly interesting conversation anyway.

Oh yes, Bluesheep thars a complete description of my entire topics of conversation...

Like other posters, I like those who can debate ethics at quite an advanced level. Or who have mixed socially with a variety of different ethnicities. Not someone who thinks Wikipedia is a source...

Having left home to go to university at 18, like many, I'm pretty sure that my egg boiling capabilites are at least on a par with a man who lived at home with mummy and daddy til he moved in with his partner!

It's all sorts of things but it's my prerogative. I will admit to finding a lot of non university educated men can be crude, but accept this is possibly just bad luck.

I suspect @Bluesheep8 was being facetious.

Serves me right for not RTFT - sorry Bluesheep8; the line between satire and reality has become somewhat blurred on this thread, is my only defence...

Apologies, @greenlandthemovie. I just assumed it was hunting as you come across so obnoxiously. My mistake.

Oh no - another name calling argument! The shame! I'm so sorry I left university a year early! What an uncultured, uneducated, ill mannered guttersnipe I must be.

I'll say it again: snob.

Of course it's your choice who you go out with. It's not your choice to tell others they aren't enough because they are not degree educated.

Snob.

I don't think it's particularly shallow. People regularly cite things like hair colour, voice, height, hobbies, choice of newspaper erc as deciding factors in attraction or dating potential. I don't see how having a level of education (and the experiences that go with it) in common is a particularly unreasonable thing to have on your wish list in a partner. I wouldn't have automatically ruled out any man without a degree, but it's certainly something I would have significantly preferred in a partner. That doesn't mean I think only people with degrees sre intelligent though.

My father didn't attend university. He left school after getting straight A's in his A levels to start what would become an extremely successful business.

My maternal aunt on the other hand has just finished her PhD, and wouldn't even be able to point to Japan on a world map.

I agree that a similar level of intelligence can lead to a strong relationship, however this cannot be determined with the level of formal education completed.

@MrsMomoa

Shallow much???

Don't think it's shallow. It usually denotes a similar intelligence, experience, expectations.

So I'll say, it depends on what he was doing with his life and how our conversations went ;)

I did date a high school drop out when I was younger. He kept telling dirty jokes and saying swear words. It didn't last....

My father didn't attend university. He left school after getting straight A's in his A levels to start what would become an extremely successful business.

My parents (in their mid 70s) are both very bright and neither went to university, but the proportion of people from working class and middle class backgrounds who went to university in those days was a fraction of what it is now. It was the norm not to.

@turnthebiglightoff

Apologies, *@greenlandthemovie*. I just assumed it was hunting as you come across so obnoxiously. My mistake.

Oh no - another name calling argument! The shame! I'm so sorry I left university a year early! What an uncultured, uneducated, ill mannered guttersnipe I must be.

I'll say it again: snob.

Of course it's your choice who you go out with. It's not your choice to tell others they aren't enough because they are not degree educated.

Snob.

I have to say I'd just love to meet your make equivalent! Imagine how well we would get on! Doesn't every woman just want to be called names and insulted for having fundamentally different values to their partner?

(being satirical again)

Of all the posters on thus thread, you really illustrate the point the best.

I agree that a similar level of intelligence can lead to a strong relationship, however this cannot be determined with the level of formal education completed.

It's not just about intelligence. It's about shared life experiences and having things in common.

What?!?! My dh is the kindest funniest person and the best dad and husband and he didn't even finish high school. He is a great man though and very intelligent in other ways than academically

But Looneytune253, nobody is suggesting that people without a degree can't be those things. Lots of people just look for certain things in common with a partner.

This reminds me of my mum .... she never really accepted DH as he’s a ‘tradesman’ and she thought I had ‘married beneath myself’ 🤷🏼‍♀️

Not read the thread but wanted to mention my mentor.

He left school with a couple of CSEs, taught himself how to code, has started and sold several successful businesses, and is a walking philosophy encyclopaedia. He actually inspired me to go back uni.

I have several friends in a similar vein who never went to uni, maybe some of you need to expand your horizons a little.🤷‍♀️

@lazylinguist

I agree that a similar level of intelligence can lead to a strong relationship, however this cannot be determined with the level of formal education completed.

It's not just about intelligence. It's about shared life experiences and having things in common.

If I defined 'shared life experiences' as 'what happened at university', I could be married to George Osborne now. shudders

I've been with my partner thirty years and counting. My life experiences with him have been building up for over twice as long as my life experiences without him.

Oh and he has lived all over the world and is multilingual, so i’d lay bets that he is as well travelled and erudite as any university graduate.

Yes, I did and he’s much further ahead of me in his career than I am as he started work earlier. I think it depends on why they didn’t go on to higher education. It could be that in a chosen career path a degree in geology (for example) has no relevance.

Ha! Just came back to look at this thread, and in the background I'm listening to a flashback show on local radio, featuring a very young, very unknown Ed Sheeran singing a very early version of U.N.I.

I bet the subject of that song is glad of her lucky escape, eh!

How very narrow and restricted your life must be; and yet you consider yourself superior. Curious

I don't think I'm superior. I do think I'm allowed to use whichever criteria I want when selecting a romantic partner, and I find intelligence honed by higher education sexy. All other things being equal I'll always find a short ugly man with a PhD more attractive than a tall beautiful one with no qualifications. I don't think I deserve to be insulted because I have different taste in men to you.

I married one! I’m educated to post grad level and he left after school and got a job, but that doesn’t mean he is any less intelligent than me, he has worked hard all his life and when we met was at the same level as me at work, so further education isn’t the only gateway to success, or guide to intelligence. (I am better at quizzes though!)

For the third time on this very over-qualified thread: it's different from, not different to...

@AnneLovesGilbert You described my dad! Started working at 16, became a chef, managed a bar, did a stint as a maître D in some properly posh places, owned a restaurant and then went in to catering and conference management. He's super smart, well read and speaks five languages from working in restaurant and hotel kitchens all over Europe.

So yes, I'd absolutely marry a man who left education at 16. It's what they do with their life after that that matters.

All other things being equal I'll always find a short ugly man with a PhD more attractive than a tall beautiful one with no qualifications.

What about a short, ugly man with a third in film studies and a tall, beautiful man with 6 A levels but nothing beyond that?

Or a short, beautiful man who read PPE at Oxford straight from Winchester, and a tall, ugly man with an environmental studies BSc from the Open University, studied for whilst working at B&Q?

Or a medium-height, moderately attractive man and a medium-height slightly more attractive man, both with equivalent PhDs, but the former having higher GCSE grades?

I don’t think that emotional intelligence, humour, kindness etc can be gained at all through academic qualifications. I’ve never dated a man that had as many academic qualifications as I do, no issue whatsoever.

I couldn’t be with someone who wasn’t my intellectual equal but these days the simple fact that someone had been to ‘university’ wouldn’t necessarily indicate that.

I definitely couldn’t be with someone who referred to it as ‘Uni’.