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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Are all men like this?

66 replies

Candykanes · 17/12/2020 21:29

today i had an appointment at hospital meaning I wasn’t able to collect dc from school..
Oh said he couldn’t leave work early so i paid for them to go to asc.
I arrived home from my appointment early at 3pm so decided to have a rest & a coffee since dc where going to club.
5 minutes later oh walks in said he finished early as not much going on in work.
He didn’t ask about my appointment (ive been worried sick over it) took himself upstairs because he was cold as the heathad been off all day. He stayed upstairs until 5.30 gaming.
Didn’t offer to collect dc,
So i left to collect them at 4.30 came home made tea, packed lunches done dishes baths & bed..
Oh came down at 5.30 sat on his phone then left to go to the gym at 6.30 without much interaction
Grr why r they so selfish

OP posts:
Pinkpercy · 17/12/2020 21:31

Eurgh I totally get you. I’ve just split up with my selfish arse of a boyfriend. The question shouldn’t be why are they selfish though, it should be : why do we allow it?!

Candykanes · 17/12/2020 21:32

Oh yes most definitely...

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 17/12/2020 21:33

No, not all men are like this.

category12 · 17/12/2020 21:33

All men are not like this. You've acquired a shit one.

Candykanes · 17/12/2020 21:33

Oh great
Thanks 👍🏻😭

OP posts:
Morechocmorechoc · 17/12/2020 21:34

Nope, go find a better one!

Regularsizedrudy · 17/12/2020 21:34

The shit ones are like that yes. But you don’t have to be with a shit one you are choosing to.

Whatwouldscullydo · 17/12/2020 21:36

Yep afraid I've met a few selfish men.

Ironically they don't like being asked to inconvenience themselves with the children but then strangely also get pissed off that you don't ask them to do anything when you make alternative arrangements..

You can never win

PicsInRed · 17/12/2020 21:39

What the fuck does he bring to your life except for extra mess and work?

Unicant · 17/12/2020 21:40

Have you confronted him about this? Why didn't you ask him to collect the dc when he turned up at home? Why didn't you go up there and ask him to help with the kids later on? He does sound like a twat. But I dont understand why you just let it all happen? I'd go ballistic with my husband if he pulled any of that nonesense.

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/12/2020 21:44

Why would you think all men are like this? All mean aren’t like anything, there are loads of different types.

Yours seems to be thoughtless, inconsiderate, lazy, unkind, unsupportive and unloving. You don’t have to put up with it. You deserve to be happy and being by yourself will definitely be happier than putting up with this. Hope your appointment went well.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 17/12/2020 21:48

Not all men are like this. He is an arsehole. A selfish, childish, nasty arsehole. I couldn't look at a man like this and love him because it sounds like he thinks you and family life are beneath him. It doesn't have to be like this - you could end the relationship and be happier single and likely meet someone who isn't an arsehole! I promise you he's not the norm and you don't need to accept his behaviour. It's vile.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 17/12/2020 21:49

Also meant to say I hope your appointment went ok Thanks

sparklefarts · 17/12/2020 21:55

Well of course all men are not like this.

Just the same as all women would absolutely not put up with a man like that. 🤷‍♀️

emmylousings · 17/12/2020 22:08

Even men who aren't really like that and quite enlightened, need to be nudged and kept on track when it comes to kids / domestics. It's boring - it's the way they are brought up partly. We have to try not to let our sons be like that!!

Nothavingfunrightnow · 17/12/2020 22:17

My ex was like that.

AIMD · 17/12/2020 22:27

No my oh is not like that. I couldn’t put up with someone being like that regularly. It’s so uncaring.

Allispretty · 17/12/2020 22:36

No not all are but some are absolutely shit!

Read the book all men love bitches, parts of it are a bit (rolls eyes) but it definitely makes you realise why you become a walkover (sorry op)

Hope your ok after your appointment x

Aquamarine1029 · 17/12/2020 22:39

Even men who aren't really like that and quite enlightened, need to be nudged and kept on track when it comes to kids / domestics.

This is not at all true.

nimbuscloud · 17/12/2020 22:39

Feel sorry for you.
Would you consider separating?

Melange99 · 17/12/2020 22:42

No, they are not. Some are, most aren't. You have another child not an adult partner.

Bamboo15 · 17/12/2020 22:46

Ive met many men like this, i wouldn’t stay with one. What would you miss if you ditched him?

Redrunbluerun · 17/12/2020 22:48

My husband isn’t like this. Why do you put up with some laziness? Why isn’t he pitching in? Why are you doing all the work?

Candykanes · 17/12/2020 22:59

I guess you just become used to it or don’t realise at first
yes it is like having a teenager
Thanks to you asking about my appointment I really appreciate that ☺️

OP posts:
Candykanes · 17/12/2020 23:03

Yes i think iam considering seperation once Christmas is over
I feel selfish though about upsetting the kids

OP posts: