‘Snake’ eyes

[Berr]

My SIL seems like a lovely person and we always get on, but I am becoming increasingly freaked out by her ‘unguarded’ moments. One day, when I’d known her for a while, I was chatting with my brother and happened to glance at her and her expression really unnerved me. She was quite coldly and unguardedly checking me out. She saw me looking and looked normal and smily again, but it really changed how I felt about her. Since then I’ve caught her doing it again, with me or the kids. E.G my four year old was wanting my husbands attention and she looked at her so coldly, almost like she was assessing her. Has by one else met anyone who seems to briefly wear their feelings on their face like this?
We saw them after the last lockdown and there were two occasions where the mask slipped and you could see microexpressions of disdain. Feel like I’ve got a bit of cognitive dissonance, because my head’s telling me she’s lovely, but my instinct’s saying she doesn’t wish us well.

Stare *

I’m a good bit younger than DB and didn’t really know his ex-wife very well. Now I’m married with my own kids I do empathise with her more, but I’m not Team Ex and determined to hate SIL or anything.
Perhaps she really is lovely, but every time we see them now I end up feeling a little bit creeped out because of this.
The looking people up and down is really rude too, even if there is no malicious intent. How do you call someone out for that when they snap back to being perfectly nice though?

Thanks to the posters who know what I’m talking about!

Well she’s not ‘a lovely person’ if she broke up a family is she? She’s shown you who she is all along.

You say ‘you all right love, I thought you just gave me the stink eye’ smiling sweetly of course...

@Berr
"There have been a few really minor instances when I have thought she has stirred the pot"
Trust your intuition, it sounds to me as if she is jealous of you & your family. Some stirrers think they are so subtle no one will know, but to the intuitive they stick out like a bulldog's . . .equipment ! She is a founder member of the wooden spoon club, well spotted!

When I was young and too vain to wear my glasses I was always glaring right at people - generally friends of friends; people who would know me well enough to recognise me and nod hello but not well enough to ask me why I was being such a weirdo.

You don't know what's actually behind the look OP.

I've been asked about this before, giving people weird looks and a friend's little girl said my face is sometimes scary I like painting portraits and I tend to assess people's features and how I'd paint them. I actually stop myself thinking of painting people now as I know my eyes must be narrowed and head tilted as though I'm judging them!