Hi. This is a long one. We have been together for 13 years and married for 2.5. Our issues started 2 years ago, just 6 months after we were married. My step son moved in with us, he got placed with us via social services which involved a very long court battle. We have 2 more sons also. So that was fine, I sorted everything with social worker, solicitor everything and we won residency. Shortly after this my dh started accusing me of cheating on him, which I haven't ever done. So much so he went through my phone, contacted the person he thought I was sleeping with and threatened him. The guy is a friend that I have known for years and have never looked at sexually.
The accusations didn't stop, they got worse infant he would accuse me of going with anyone!
Skip to last year, I was bridesmaid and my friends wedding, dh had had a lot to drink and started to kick off again. At the end of the night it escalated and he threatened to stab me and the 3 kids. He hasn't actually ever laid a hand on me. Inwas disgusted and asked him to leave. He did but returned 2 weeks later refusing to go. Last Christmas he told me that he would leave and sign divorce papers if I hadn't changed my mind-which to this day I haven't changed my mind.
In this time we haven't been close, I have been working extra hours to keep myself out of the house as he makes me cringe, I can't even bare for him to kiss me on the head. Since he threatened me and my boys I have lost all respect for him.
Now, the accusations of me cheating have never stopped. And this past few weeks he is adamant that I am sleeping with my friends husband, which i am categorically not. On Wednesday of this week all hell broke loose. I was walking the dog and bumped into the friends hubby ( he was coming out of the chippy as I walked past) so spoke as you do, then my dh drive past. Put 2 and 2 together and came up with 6. Started f-ing and blinding in the middle of the village that we live accusations flying around. He has then as I was sleeping gone through my phone with a fine tooth comb-deleted all of my security settings and read everything! Personal messages to my friends the lot! He said that since doing it he now trusts me but doesn't trust other men around me, there was nothing on my phone to suggest that I had cheated or that I am interested in anyone else.
I have told him that I can't take anymore, he has broken me. He has pushed and pushed me to my limits now. I have asked him once again to leave. He is refusing that the relationship is over and refusing to admit that he has driven me to the edge. I can not continue to defend myself against something I haven't done. How do I prove that I am innocent?
How do I get him to accept that the relationship is done, i have told him that I don't love him. I have purposely put the kids to sleep in my bed so he cant sleep there with me. I have ignored him , shouted said it calmly. I am at a loss!! He has told me tonight that there's no point ignoring him because he's just not going anywhere. I am lost!!!
Sorry for the long and ranty post. X