Help! Narcissistic bf won’t leave

[Skymum16]

Me and my boyfriend had a row last night, and today he is being a nasty prick. He’s got a foul temper and I’ve always thought he has narcissistic tendencies. Both of us were in the wrong last night but everything is my fault, he winds me up and is so vile to me until I snap, then he films my reaction to make me look bad.
Today he is calling me a nasty c*nt and a pathetic piece of shit, telling my 4yo daughter I’m a disgusting parent, saying things like ‘look how nasty mummy is’, ‘mummy’s a horrible person’, telling me he’s going to report me to social services etc etc. Confiscating everything he owns, like the Apple TV and even stuff in the fridge that he bought.... Basically just being vile! I don’t want to be with him anymore and I’ve told him that.

I own the house, he pays me half the mortgage each month but we have no written contract. He’s refusing to leave and says he has the right to stay but where do I stand with this?! I need him gone, he’s being so vile and I don’t want my daughter around this horrible behaviour. Help please!

I was nervous about involving the police, it felt a bit heavy handed. But trust me, it's the best thing Ive done.

You need to protect your daughter and call the police. It might seem dramatic but it's definitely the best thing to do.

Men like him are two a penny to the police, they all say and do the same things. The police won't give a shit about his stupid recordings of you saying mean things.

Please, please, please call the police my lovely. He's a textbook abuser, the police will have heard/seen it all before. You need him removed and the locks changed. Don't worry about his threats, he won't have a leg to stand on.

My blood ran cold when I read he took your child inside and shut you out. That would have been the moment I slung his arse out of the door by whatever means; friends, police etc. He is using your child as a weapon to control and abuse you. What a psycho. Please call the police and get him away from your child and you, you need to protect her from him.

Please protect your daughter OP.

He’s being so lovely to her, giving her cuddles and chocolate whilst whispering about what a mean mummy I am and how nasty I am and telling her I’m ruining Christmas

Sounds like a paedophile sex offender grooming and conditioning child victim into compliance.

You MUST tell police of this.

Ring 101 for some advice right now. Tell them everything.

Ring the police now, protect your daughter, he is trying to scare you into not doing it. Nothing else matters but your daughters safety, call them now.

Change the locks next time he leaves he has no right to be there. I had to do this and the police were amazing they came round whilst he collected his things and warned him off

You have to get him away from your daughter.

OP call the police and explain what's happened and you feel at risk. You've said he isn't violent but he's slamming doors and leaving you outside, this could be the tip of the iceberg, especially as this behaviour seems to be recent.

The police will support you as you have a child who has also been targeted by this man. They will support you with domestic violence charities and support workers and if social services are involved it's only to keep your child safe. He may have videos of you but I imagine whoever sees them will see you weren't physically abusing him and would assume it was part of a 2 sided argument.

You will get through this OP.

Phone the police and get him out put your child first him saying all that to your child will have an effect get him out now just phone them .

He has no rights. call the police and ask for help to get him to leave.

You really need to prioritise your child. Get him out - don't leave him there in the house for any length of time. Call the police now and get him removed , then change the locks

Did he move in quickly with you without your permission, that's how these abusers work. I also thought you could pay him back some rent so he has no claim on your house.

I also agree you need to phone to the police the sooner the better. You have to protect your child and you will be classed as a vulnerable adult if you cannot take action to protect your daughter. Abusing the victim and then filming the fallout is an abusive tactic. It's talked about extensively on the "live abuse free" YouTube channel as there's a famous youtuber who did this exact tactic to his girlfriend. As everyone said, it's new to you, but the police and women's aid know exactly what he's doing

Call the police now and don't listen to his threats. You are not protecting your daughter by allowing him to stay.

I think she might be with the police. Hope so OP. He's abusive and will only get worse.

Coppers.

I’ve called the police before because my ex had turned up and refused to leave. The first words out of their mouths were who’s house is this, and the second was one of them asking ex to step outside with them. Throw your 4 year old into the mix and his feet won’t touch the floor. Leave your key in the lock so he can’t get in till a locksmith can get there.

How long have you been together? As far as I’m aware, he will have the same or similar rights to your house after 2 years of living together even if he is not on the mortgage.

@Belle124

How long have you been together? As far as I’m aware, he will have the same or similar rights to your house after 2 years of living together even if he is not on the mortgage.

What!? How?

I always feel so sorry for the poor children in situations like this. Phone the police, get him removed...what’s the difficulty?

Are you ok, op?