Am I right to be upset

[Createusername]

Bit long but will try to keep it brief. I don't know what I'm after here maybe just trying to vent..

My daughter was hospitalised 3 months ago severely ill with Sepsis, a month later she was back in with the same thing.. and since then she's still not fully recovered. She is now on long term antibiotics..
She was seen by drs earlier this week as she had some symptoms and they sent samples off to be tested. I got a call lastnight to say she had yet another infection but needed different antibiotics as the ones she's on are resistant. Just before this time I was messaging my boyfriend of 3 yrs and i messaged saying give me a minute just taking a call... half hour later after I was done speaking with drs telling me about the new infection and telling me keep a close eye any change in her sort prescription etc .. i had a good cry and was gutted she's still feeling poorly and doesn't seem to be any let up... I text him again saying it was drs and she's got another infection and that i had been in tears,... he replied several hours later being really blunt saying ""well its good news ain't it she's getting more antibiotics, I dunno why your worrying and pulling your hair out, she's fine she's been going school and if she was soo ill you wouldn't have sent her would you. You want a life of overworrying"" *because she's still recovering shes only been going to school for a couple hours when she's up to it... I felt really hurt and tried to say dont worry u won't understand and end the conversation.. he went on and i said he was being unsupportive and insensitive... he went mad when I said this then blew up and demanded I pay back money he gifted me towards the kids Xmas presents, money i never asked for but he insisted he wanted to help. I then did transfer it back to his account..

I dont know what I'm asking here but am I right to feel upset.. I'm already feeling emotionally drained with what's going on with my daughter so maybe its me being too sensitive?

Urgh what an arsehole
He did you a favour blocking you tbh

He’s a disgusting, pathetic little prick, no morals, no kindness, and you have to take responsibility now and stay firm.

Keeping him in your kids life would be so irresponsible. He’s a bad person OP.

Keep him out. Good luck.

4th day no contact..none from him either.. as much as I'm trying to put on a brave face inside I feel like absolute sh!t

It's early days you will feel better. Keep reminding yourself of why you're no contact. Write it all down if that helps

@Createusername

4th day no contact..none from him either.. as much as I'm trying to put on a brave face inside I feel like absolute sh!t

It's tough, especially with everything else you are dealing with, but stay strong. You deserve better.

It will get easier.

You might feel shit now op, but imagine how shit you'll feel when he's still doing this stuff in a year or two. Have a lovely Christmas with your kids. Hope things look up for your dd soon. Of course you are going to be worried. It's redic to suggest you wouldn't be!

Stop counting the days, like you are still hoping he will contact you. If you block him, you will be free to move on without wondering when next contact will happen, because you will have taken charge of the situation, and he won't be able to contact even if he wants to. It will also give him a resounding FY, when he does try. At the moment you are leaving yourself at his mercy, which is not good at all.

I'm not waiting for him to contact me. Iv read here about 30 days no contact rule and thats helping me get through atm, I would normally always go back and apologise for upsetting him. its also nice to have a hand hold on here

Keep holding our hands. Don't be sucked in when he's bored or needs an ego boost ❤

Stay strong OP

You can do this.

He’s not the one for you, there’s a better one out there

You're doing great Create. It will get easier x

He sounds horrible , what a horrible person , he’s trying to turn his poor behaviour on to you and That is not ok. ‘Making you pay the money back too just before Christmas ? That’s vile , and then blocking you ? How arrogant and selfish , you deserve so much better please cut this man off

Stay strong!! He needs to be done with

How long have you been together? Not that it really makes any difference, I just can't understand him blocking you.

You are clearly better off without him even if it doesn't seem it right now. This isn't someone who is invested in you and your children and you deserve better.

I hope your daughter is OK. My eldest had a period of back to back infections and it felt never ending but once the right antibiotic was prescribed, and for long enough, it really was a turning point for her. I hope it is the same for your daughter.

He is right, you don't deserve him... you deserve better.

You deserve no put downs, no guilt, no additional worries, no man-child neediness.

By losing him you have lost a big baby-man who was going to suck up all your time and attention and not support you back.

You are free to focus on you and your DC and I hope the new antibiotics work well.

Thank you all for your kind well wishes for my DD. Shes still feeling poorly and hoping she can be feeling well enough to enjoy Christmas.. although Christmas I'm not looking forward to atall. After lunch my kids will go to their dads and il be completely on my own for a couple days.
Trying my best to stay strong

He is a very unpleasant man and you deserve better. It will hurt because you will remember the good times but you can't be with someone who lacks empathy and is hyper sensitive to criticism. He is emotionally very immature as looked to hurt you by asking for the money back. I am glad you returned it...can you imagine the story he would be telling others if not!

Maybe use the time on Christmas day to relax and think of it as time to catch up. Spoil yourself on the day. It is better to be alone than with someone who is capable of being so unkind

Well done for standing up and demanding more

Focus on your daughtef treatment and hope she will be better soon.
Outside antibiotics, does she get enough vitamins, fresh fruits, vitamin D?

Hang in there OP! It speaks volumes about him that he can be so dismissive of what is a potentially life threatening illness affecting one of your children! He is a pitiful man-baby to be jealous of your children. Please do not re-engage with him in any way whatsoever. Try and plan a bit of self indulgence for the days over Xmas once the kids are at their DFs so that you don't cave and feel the need to reach out to him. And block him every which way. What an absolute horror he is.

A man will always come 2nd to your children (even if he was their dad!). Ask any mum you know who they'd rescue first from a burning building and it will be the vulnerable child that they brought into this world. He's also being particularly nasty in blanking your daughter right before Christmas which should tell you something. I hope she soon gets better and, when you're on your own Christmas Day eat lots of chocs and watch silly movies and be thankful you're free of him. Well done, a big pat on the back!

I hope your daughter gets strong soon. My husband went through repeated bouts of sepsis and hospital visits last year. I thought he was never going to get better, but he’s back to normal now. It takes a long time to build up strength and get better.

As for your boyfriend, please keep him as an ex. There’s no point having someone around you that can’t support you through tough times or step back when the kids need you most. (something else I learned last year when my husband was so ill) I know it’s a shock and it hurts, but please don’t sit counting the days for contact. Just put it on the list of shitty ways he’s treated you and read that list every time you think you want him back. Be strong. Focus on your children and Christmas for you all. Don’t let him waltz in at the last minute and “forgive you” in time for Xmas. This was HIM being insensitive and completely out of order.

Honey, go out, but yourself a few fancy bath bombs, a bottle of you're favourite tipple, a fancy but of food that you normally wouldn't eat and a noisy vibrator.
Take those four days of being lonely and taken them into for days of alone time.
How often do you get that luxury?
You don't need that trash man to make you happy.

I would say everytime your thinking of him go and look at your daughter and tell yourself how jealous of her this man is. He sounds the type of person to only be happy if its all about him. A sick child takes away your attention from him thats what he really didn't like. Your so much better off without him. I hope your daughter is better soon. Xx

OP you sound so strong, even though you may not be feeling it. The longer you stay away from him the easier it will become. I second the previous poster: you've got some days on your own, buy some amazingly indulgent food and just do what the Hell you like. Stay in bed until midday. Watch shit on Netflix. Use that noisy vibrator! Self-care is really important. Hope you're doing ok today.

Hope you’re ok.