Am I right to be upset

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Bit long but will try to keep it brief. I don't know what I'm after here maybe just trying to vent..

My daughter was hospitalised 3 months ago severely ill with Sepsis, a month later she was back in with the same thing.. and since then she's still not fully recovered. She is now on long term antibiotics..
She was seen by drs earlier this week as she had some symptoms and they sent samples off to be tested. I got a call lastnight to say she had yet another infection but needed different antibiotics as the ones she's on are resistant. Just before this time I was messaging my boyfriend of 3 yrs and i messaged saying give me a minute just taking a call... half hour later after I was done speaking with drs telling me about the new infection and telling me keep a close eye any change in her sort prescription etc .. i had a good cry and was gutted she's still feeling poorly and doesn't seem to be any let up... I text him again saying it was drs and she's got another infection and that i had been in tears,... he replied several hours later being really blunt saying ""well its good news ain't it she's getting more antibiotics, I dunno why your worrying and pulling your hair out, she's fine she's been going school and if she was soo ill you wouldn't have sent her would you. You want a life of overworrying"" *because she's still recovering shes only been going to school for a couple hours when she's up to it... I felt really hurt and tried to say dont worry u won't understand and end the conversation.. he went on and i said he was being unsupportive and insensitive... he went mad when I said this then blew up and demanded I pay back money he gifted me towards the kids Xmas presents, money i never asked for but he insisted he wanted to help. I then did transfer it back to his account..

I dont know what I'm asking here but am I right to feel upset.. I'm already feeling emotionally drained with what's going on with my daughter so maybe its me being too sensitive?

He has had a tantrum because you spent time talking to your daughter’s doctor, you were upset and not focusing on him and as a punishment, he has asked for money back which he gifted you. Those are not the actions of a nice man.

This. And you have not let your DC down, there's no evidence that you are not a nce person.

He's saying all of this just to hurt you because you weren't focussing entirely on him.

He'll come crawling back eventually, and that's when you have to be strong and get shot of him forever. Absolute scumbag.

He sounds immature, ignorant, lacking in empathy and selfish.
You have been under so much stress and need someone who can support and care for you.

This lack of empathy shows he should not be part of your childs upbringing or your future love life.
He really has shown his true colours, raging and then becoming spiteful about the money.

Get rid.
I really hope your daughter gets better. xx

Really, you are well rid of this one! Don't even think of having him back.

FFS, op. BLOCK him. Never ever speak to him again.

Block him too ... so when he comes crawling back he's notable to creep back in... treating you like this and taking back money gifted for your kids christmas presents is fucking disgraceful... he is SCUM and you must take back control of your life. 🌺

Any parent would be full of worry!! I would have not even remember to call him back. His response was the most insensitive crap that I have heard and I can only imagine how it added to your already fragile emotions. He was a s**t person, not to mention partner with his comments, but asking for the money back would be the nail in the coffin for me. That shows what kind of (pathetic) person he is.

Lots of hugs and healing thoughts for your daughter. It must be stressful enough without id**ts like him, so turn on the phone and save the energy for your family.

*turn off the phone

Block block block. When people show you who they are, believe them.

What a pig. Asking for the money back is unforgivable and you don’t want anyone around you and your kids that would do that!

Sorry that your dd has been so ill OP.

This alone is a hugely stressful thing, and you would expect a partner to be supportive. But it seems he got the huff because he's not getting full attention from you. Which of course is the case when you have an ill child.

I really can related to this though OP. Not too much of a dissimilar situation, my dd has also been very ill, in and out of hospital and naturally you are more stressed and of course they need more attention. Well they are children and ill ones at that. My ex dp also got the huff as the attention level to him dropped significantly, and I would get sarcastic comments if I hadn't replied quick enough to him, or didn't answer him, he also implied on a few occasions that my dd could be faking 🤔. Anyway I ended it, and the weight that was lifted from me was huge. If course I was upset but i then saw as plain as day how he wasn't helping me through a stressful time, but making things worse. He got the huff as I said no to going for a weekend away with him, during all this going on.

I wish you and your dd all the best but pick your battles OP. Why have to deal with more stress than you need to. You need to look out for you as your dd needs you to be OK.

Keep him blocked incase he unblocks you and use the time to process what has happened, so that he isn't in your face when he decides you've had the silent treatment for long enough.

You’ve done the right thing. What a horrible man. A partner should be supportive and sensitive when your child is unwell not behave as he has. He has shown you who he is, you’ve seen his true colours. Leave him behind. Wishing your daughter a speedy recovery

Dear OP - he sounds like a prick and you are much better off without him. The behaviour you describe is abusive. And by the way, the fact that he’s really lovely some of the time means nothing. All abusers are capable of behaving well. It’s how people behave when things are not going their way which is the most crucial indicator of what they’re like.

Sorry to hear about what your DD is going through. I hope she feels better soon.

At the point you needed support and a sympathetic shoulder, he turned it to being about him. Thank goodness he is gone. That last text was pure spite and tantrum. Nasty little man.
It is horrible being dumped but he has done you a big favour. It is the best gift he could have given you. Block all his contact details.
I hope your dd gets better soon.

Thank you all. Iv woken this morning I'm still feeling really upset over how he reacted. Feeling angry about the money thing too, I never even asked or wanted his "help" for the kids xmas but he insisted saying it was his gift, to then have it demanded back saying I didn't deserve his help.. I'm glad I paid it back. I wouldn't have wanted to keep money that was used against me like that anyway.
Thank you all too for your well wishes for my DD

I hope your baby girl is okay. I know I would be out of my mind with worry. Sepsis is such a big deal.

He is an absolute cunt.

Yes you're unreasonable to be upset. Because he doesn't deserve any of your headspace.

You and your kids are worth more than that trash bag. Leave him in the bin where he belongs and live your best life!

Hope you all have the best Christmas!

Block him on contacts, WhatsApp, Facebook, messenger and anything else you are present on. Do not give him the satisfaction of picking you back up when he feels you have done the punishment.
Arsehole

Men like this are all about themselves - they get jealous even about your relationship with your children. They want you to be in awe of them all the time. I'm glad he has blocked you . Please don't respond to him - this will only get worse . It's about HIM.

Vivamiltonkeynes.. thats interesting you said that.. he's previously made comments about being 2nd in line to the kids and when we brought a dog into our lives me and the kids were excited and he made a comment about then being 3rd

Block and move on. He’s shown you who he is. An utter prick who will never understand your totally normal reactions to things. I hope your little one is feeling better soon.

He’s the weirdo. Manipulative, angry, nasty little man. Block him. You and your children deserve better. If you stay with him you will be on here in six months time posting about your unplanned pregnancy with him and his he’s not helped you with anything and is nasty to you etc etc.

Dodged a bullet. I know you’re struggling and would like a handhold but take it from MN instead of him. We care more for each other than he ever could. Plenty handholds here.

Don’t entertain any of his pish. He’s a classic prick. If you see the book/freedom prog info pp’s have suggested you will see him for what he is.

2 days no contact.. I know its the best thing for me to do but I am finding it so difficult there's also been no attempt on his part, just confirms even more he never really cared did he

Just remember how you feel now if he does get in touch. That’s the time when we think ‘oh he wasn’t really THAT bad, he’s better than being lonely’ blah blah. He won’t change. Even if he says he will. I’m sure you’ve heard it all before.

Put on some good Christmas movies and break into the selection boxes . You can always buy more!

Excellent advice @Elieza.

Well done OP. It will get easier. Don't let your mind play tricks on your heart and fall for his shit.

You poor thing. What a horribly stressful time you are having. Please don’t find yourself in 5 years time still coping with one of this man’s selfish tantrums. You deserve so much more than this. His behaviour is shocking and I’m not surprised you are very upset.

You would be better off alone. Do you have support from family or friends? Get your daughter better and then look to a future with a kind and mature partner. Don’t waste any more time on this idiot. I sincerely hope your daughter is better soon.

He'll be back. He's making you sweat.
God ,men like this are text book arseholes.
He's punishing you and then will be expecting you to grovel.
Don't. The money was part of his control and was never meant to be a nice thing, only so you owed him for being a 'great'guy. He's putting you in your place for not falling in line.
Don't fall for it and don't contact him

You can do this.