MIL/SIL are taking DD1 to Disneyland Paris but not taking DD2

[Rorytigger]

I know, I know, I should be grateful that they are taking DD1(4) (she's beyond excited), but can't help feeling sorry for DD2 (2) . SIL is taking her DD(22mths) and MIL says she couldn't cope with both DD's. My problem with it is that DD2 always gets side-lined as my MIL seems to have a grandchild pecking order. DD1 has never stayed overnight before let alone go away for three days and (I admit) I'm going to miss her dreadfully. Her sister will too as they are joined at the hip . Both DH and I will be at work for most of the time so it's not like I'm going to have some real quality time with her to make her feel special too.

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He's not 20 months now

He's 2.2 and can recall particular things he has seen or enjoyed. Disney characters, songs, and pictures from the rides, all trigger his memories from the holiday.

I can give you loads of examples of the types of things, but it doesn't matter, honestly.

I get your point that a child of 20 months probably woudn't know either way if they had been excluded from a trip and wouldn't experience it in the same way as a 4 year old. Totally agree.

But I disagreed with the point that they wouldn't remember it the week later if they did go. Because my ds does remember it. And it was worth every penny to take him.
I just felt annoyed that you suggested I was somehow making it up or had a 'super intelligent' child - I really would not come on a thread and lie about something as trivial as this.
Was just giving the op a very real and recent example from my own personal experiences.

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I guess the mil will take dd2 in a couple of years?

Even the most delightful 2 year old can be harder work than a five year old so I guess they are doing what they can handle. I have one of each and I really like just having the five year old to myself now and then.

the two year old wont mind yet and she will probably get her turn!

lisalisa - I shall have to agree to disagree with you. I am very aware of the difference between a rising 2 and a rising 3 - I have been through that with my own daughter after all. And sorry, but my DD could have converstaions and talk very well and articulately by the time was was 2 years old. I am well aware not all children can. However I do know some that can - my oown DD was one such child. However she is not super intelligent or anything, she was just good verbally.

I encourage both my parents and parents-in-law to have my boys individually, and that has included week long holidays. Ds1 is now 6, but he has been on more holidays with grandparents than ds2 (4), and ds3 (2) has yet to go. I think it's great for them to have individual time, and they develop a different relationship with the grandparents without siblings around. With PILS it also means that they can take different combinations of grandchildren each year so giving all the cousins equal time.
They go to aunts and uncles for weekends at different times as well.
Ds1 and Ds2 understand that they do things on their own and we tend to have something planned for both of them so they know what's coming up. Ds3 really hasn't noticed and prefers to stay with me and dh anyway - he is just over 2.
It works well for us and our family.

My DD1 went on holiday with my parents and my gparents for 3 weeks when she was 3 1/2. It didn't occur to any of us that they should take DS1 too (aged 2).

Later on my parents took DD1 (then 9), DN (8), DS1 (7), and DS2 (5) to Disney Paris but didn't take DS3 (3) because they couldn't cope with him and the others were old enough to go on similar rides. DS3 had recently been with me and DH- but not the other kids- to Las Vegas, so it all evened out.

As for the 2 year old "discussion" on this thread, DD1 was fully aware when her 2nd birthday was approaching, looked forward to it for weeks and was able to remember it afterwards. She also used to watch the BBC series of Narnia, sat through 50 minutes absolutely rapt and looked forward to the next week/ remembered last weeks, at 2 years old. DS2 was born on DS1's 2nd birthday so we postponed it for a week and DS1 was none the wiser