MIL/SIL are taking DD1 to Disneyland Paris but not taking DD2

[Rorytigger]

I know, I know, I should be grateful that they are taking DD1(4) (she's beyond excited), but can't help feeling sorry for DD2 (2) . SIL is taking her DD(22mths) and MIL says she couldn't cope with both DD's. My problem with it is that DD2 always gets side-lined as my MIL seems to have a grandchild pecking order. DD1 has never stayed overnight before let alone go away for three days and (I admit) I'm going to miss her dreadfully. Her sister will too as they are joined at the hip . Both DH and I will be at work for most of the time so it's not like I'm going to have some real quality time with her to make her feel special too.

Rorytigger's DD2 will get things in the future.

It's really not good for siblings to be treated as a package, always having to have exactly what the others have...

To be honest I think your DH was pretty out of order agreeing to it without saying "Me and Rory will have to talk about this together first, we'll let you know".

i dont consider my children as one package. but i treat them equally and i expect other people to do so too

nailpolish - and? All our children go on different holidays with different family members at different times, my sister's children too. We encourage it, we think it is excellent that all the children have varied experiences of life.

Rorytigger's DD2 can go to Disney when she's older.

Message withdrawn

If I could be sure (as I could be with my parents and PIL) that dd2 would be getting her turn in the future, then I wouldn't have a problem with it. Two is very young to go away without you or your DH, and a bit young for Disneyland surely?

Think we shall have to agree to disagree on this Anna888. I'd have no problem if it was a sleep over, a day trip locally, even (whena bit older) a short holiday away - but not Disneyland, and not when tere is nothing in place for DD2 and her grandparents.

Mye and my brother both did holidays away with grandaprents - but they were within a year of each other, and we both knew that both holidays were taking place and when.

anna

so next year rorys MIL will take dd2 on holiday and leave dd1 behind? to me that would be the only fair thing

and what about dd2s feelings when it comes down to it? you cant say to a 2 yr old "oh youll get your turn for something similar another time"

I think age 2 is too young to go to disney land. And I think your sil and mil are right in saying they can't take both children, that would be a lot of work.

I also don't think I two year old would have much concept that her older sister has gone off somewhere to have fun. She's too young to realise that she's missing out.

TellUsMater - IMO 2 is not too young for Disney. DD went to DLp at 18 months, and Florida at 2y4m. And both since too. She loved the magic of it all, and there is loads for little ones to do there. As I sad beofre we are taking a 2yo with us next week - and she is already quite excited at the idea.

If DD1 does go you'll have to explain to her about not going on about it in front of DD2 - from the fairness point of view.

lisa

2 yr olds dont need buggies.

hula

i think a trip to disneyland is just like going to the park tbh for anna.

Yes of course you can say to a child that they will get something else later. But IMO if you don't make a big deal about one child getting an opportunity its sibling(s) aren't getting, they don't get upset. They grow up thinking it's normal and healthy that different members of a family get different things at different times.

A two year old going to Disney definitely needs a buggy. It's a knackering place - even for adults.

Disneyland would be a waste of money for my two year old. She's just as happy going to the local park.

again thanks everyone. It is a toughie. I can't bear the thought of disapointing DD1 - like I said she really is SO excited about going with nanny. If I juggled my holiday I could get some of the time off so I can be with DD1 - it would be nice to have some time with her without her having to compete with her sister for some attention. (DD1 world.revolves.around.her ) I could at a long shot borrow some money off my mum and take her but my passports run out and they go Dec 9. The tought of spending SO much time with MIL does fill me with dread though....

Little kids remember things from a very early age. I'm still pissed off that my older brother had a gold tricycle with pedals whilst I got a crappy wooden thing that I had to push along with my feet. I've never got over my two year old resentment

Early experiences are formative.

Also the big problem here is the lack of consultation. Parents are the people who decide who gets to go on holiday and who doesn't, not Granny.

But Anna if you read the OP it doesn't appear that the grandparents are fair in their dealings with the two children.

"My problem with it is that DD2 always gets side-lined as my MIL seems to have a grandchild pecking order."

This line alone would be enough for me to not be happy with the situation.

Message withdrawn

I agree with Anna8888 as long as MIL's is planning on taking DD2 to Disney Land when she turns 4.

I am sure that DD2 is going to enjoy being alone with mummy and daddy.

Two year olds need buggies (unless they get carted around in the car everywhere)

TBF - yes, a two year old would need a buggy at Disney. However, this is easily solved - DLP hire out double buggies for use in the parks.

Message withdrawn

Rorytigger - like I've said, relax, it's perfectly OK for your two daughters not to get identical treatment. DD2's time will come

others would disgree about 2 yr old not experiencing disney properly, lisa. see baffy's post

lisalisa - disagree. My DD remembers fully her trip to Disney at 2. And she remembers it in a different way to her memories of Disney at other ages since.