Oh calling dc a

[Christmasobsessed]

I don’t really know if this is the right place to post,
Oh always calling dc a gimp
Ive told him time after time not to etc... I don’t know if im being precious or he’s in the wrong but ive had enough
What are peoples thoughts

Thank you @Eckhart i am absolutely going to take your advice
I grew up being ridiculed from time to time not continuously but it has made my confidence rock bottom & i do not want the same for my dc...

Your own confidence will also get a massive boost by dealing with this problem well. I had the piss taken out of me a lot when I was little. Not in an abusive way, just laughter at my inevitable mistakes during the learning process that is being a child, and a definite feeling of being laughed at rather than with. It makes you feel small, and not worth listening to, so, when you get into relationships as an adult, you're basically primed and conditioned to be the lesser party in the relationship.

Time to break free from that generation to generation cycle, @Christmasobsessed. Become an awesome superhero mum, and save your son and yourself from this self esteem sapping crap. I can picture your superhero cape billowing in the wind already

@QueenoftheIceAge

What is a divvy? Mentioned upthread...it’s in my head from primary school insults, is it also djsablist?

Basically you are stupid.

Differing claims of the origin - one to do a with a 'Divvy' lamp that would explode easily down mineshafts, so people who walked into a mine with one were clearly quite stupid. The other relates to the 'Unemployment Dividend' (what is now job seekers) from decades ago and someone who claims the divvy is clearly a waster/useless/dumb

I’ve thought about this a bit today and I feel really heartbroken for your child.
Nobody should have to endure that sort of awful insulting verbal abuse from their father. The damage it will do is serious.

If his dad minimises or dismisses what you say you have a choice to make and if it were me it would be to leave that marriage. It is despicable.

This is terrible, what a horrible man. However, presumably ds would potentially still have to spend long periods of time with him even after a split so that wouldn’t necessarily protect him.

@ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes

This is terrible, what a horrible man. However, presumably ds would potentially still have to spend long periods of time with him even after a split so that wouldn’t necessarily protect him.

It is better to have two households, one healthy and one not, than just one unhealthy household, and no clue that there are other ways of living. Even just getting the idea that the way his father treats him is not standard will help him make more informed decisions about his preferences and his own actions, as he gets older.

Thanks
I agree and he would probably only be with oh 1-2 days per week in those circumstances

Explain to him exactly what 'gimp' means and tell him how inappropriate it is to call his eight year old son that. Imagine if the boy goes in to school and uses it about other kids, not knowing its meaning.

Your husband needs to grow up.

Yes I think you’re right, but it’s something to bear in mind as often on here it’s seen as a done deal that you can fully protect the dc from this type of thing.

My dc are with xh a few days a week and I’m acutely aware of my inability to shield them from harm.

I don’t mean to worry anyone

@ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes what do you mean I didn’t get it
Your reply
Sorry

This is juvenile stuff and I'd think a lot less of any adult who dealt out the kind of insults you'd expect to hear in a playground bullying scenario. In fact I'd assume they used to be those bullies who loved to use crude taunting as a power move and hadn't grown out of it.

Sorry OP I’m just making the point that in the event of separation, young dc are likely to be with the other parent some of the time, and during that we can’t control what happens to them.

Have you spoken with him yet?

@ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes

I don’t mean to worry anyone

I think you raise a very good “real” point I hope you and your children are ok.

I know
Thats the scary thing but what is the answer
No ive not yet i will tomorrow hes gone up to bed with a cob on
Dc 2 was sick (running round)
And oh told the children your mum has poinsened you letting you have too much chocolate now dc has been sick
So ive had a moan at him for saying such a thing to them and hes gone upstairs