Oh calling dc a

[Christmasobsessed]

I don’t really know if this is the right place to post,
Oh always calling dc a gimp
Ive told him time after time not to etc... I don’t know if im being precious or he’s in the wrong but ive had enough
What are peoples thoughts

This is a horrible word to use for anyone let alone an 8yr old child. Your OH is a nasty bully and he needs to stop this now.

What happens if your DC starts to think this language is acceptable and calls kids at school things like this? Let alone how it makes your DC feel being called nasty names by his own father.

Thanks for each & every one if your replies
It means a lot
Going to have a serious conversation with him about this whole thing

I hope your "serious conversation" includes a "shape up or ship out" ultimatum and that you are willing to follow through

This is utterly disgusting and actually quite chilling

How can you share your life, tour home, your bed with a man that ca,ks yours and HIS child these insulting names?

No, I would leave. I would cut him out of my life.
This is emotional abuse and as his mother your ought to do whatever it takes to remove yourself and the children from this as much as possible

I had to look it up!

Yes there is the sex gimp from Pulp Fiction, yes it also means a disabled person and lastly it means a fool/idiot.

Personally I think it a terrible idea that can only result in him calling people at school a gimp!

It's not a word of be happy with but I think in part it depends on how your son reacts to it.

Of DS is clumsy I tell him he's such a sausage. He thinks it's hilarious (he's 5) so it's fine. If I called him a sausage and it upset him then it wouldn't be fine

It's less the word and more the intention

Your H needs a new nickname.
Numpty, Jakey, or something like that.

Are you afraid of him?

No i am not afraid of him,
And dc doesn’t react but it doesn’t mean its not affecting him inside i now

You clearly have bigger problems.

Agree

What do you mean?

@SleepingStandingUp

It's not a word of be happy with but I think in part it depends on how your son reacts to it.

Of DS is clumsy I tell him he's such a sausage. He thinks it's hilarious (he's 5) so it's fine. If I called him a sausage and it upset him then it wouldn't be fine

It's less the word and more the intention

But sausage doesn't carry the same meanings as the word gimp does it? Would you call your child a word that was known to be an offensive term about disabled people and a very sexual word?

I used to say my kids were 'narnas' (short for banana) when they did something silly but last time I checked, a banana wasn't an offensive word or one I would mind them repeating (like sausage). It was also always said in jest and received as such.

But sausage doesn't carry the same meanings as the word gimp does it? Would you call your child a word that was known to be an offensive term about disabled people and a very sexual word?
Sorry, my response might not have been worded strongly enough. I wouldn't be happy with the word and DH and o would have words about it. But those words would vary in if DS thought it was funny (not appropriate, given its meaning, repeating it at school) and DS crying (why are you being an abusive arsehole)

Your H needs a new nickname Numpty, Jakey, or something like that

Oh yes, that's much much better

It will be psychologically damaging for your ds to be getting called a gimp all the time, or anything derogatory for that matter. Must be just horrible for him Those examples you have given are no reason at all for your son to be shouted at.
I'm wondering what lovely things he calls you when you do something he doesn't like!

@Christmasobsessed

What do you mean?

If this is with regard to 'You clearly have bigger issues':

Your partner is regularly disrespecting your son in a way that may well cause him psychological issues (such as low self esteem) for the rest of his life. Being called names by a primary caregiver can really screw up a child. They don't always show signs of being bothered at the time, because they don't realise or understand the implications, but it erodes their self esteem when, for example, they get older and realise that nobody else was called names by their Dad; the question then for them is 'Why was I different? Why was I the one who got picked on by my Dad? What did I do wrong?' The damage can last a lifetime, and have an effect on their primary relationships (with their own partners and children), on going. That's the initial problem. It's not just about 'I don't like that word, stop saying it'. It's the ethos behind thinking it's ok to say derogatory things to a child. Your son does not have a good father

The other problem is that he tells you to shut up. In this context or any. This is blatant disregard of your feelings. Why doesn't he care that he's upsetting you? Why doesn't he think your opinion is valid in the upbringing of your own son? Your partner does not respect you

The only solution here is to stand up for your son, at the time, against your partner, which will bolster your son's self esteem. If your partner tells you to shut up, this will start to demonstrate to your son that 'Dad is horrible to mum', which will show him that the horribleness isn't due to his own failings. But that situation cannot continue for any length of time. It is damaging in itself. Privately tell your partner that if he keeps doing it, you will leave. And then follow through. Your son will have a much better chance of obtaining a good level of self respect if he can say 'My dad used to call me names, so my mum and I left him', than if he ends up saying 'My dad called me names all through my childhood. My mum asked him to stop but he told her to shut up, so she did. Every time.'

Such a good post Eckhart. Was trying to find the words to express this but youve said everything I wanted to and more.
My cousins DH was like this with her DS. She left him eventually but her DS had to put up with years of this shit and it affected him deeply He has also expressed a lot of resentment towards his mother for not leaving sooner and letting it go on for so long

Absolutely no way. That’s awful.

@Eckhart Excellent post

Unacceptable

My siblings and I grew up verbally abused by our Father called moron,clumsy ox,idiot,pig,you name it. My grandmother says he did the same to us as babies/toddlers. I will never understand why the adults around us never took any action. It's a horrible legacy to live with and affected all four of us children terribly. Please protect your child

What is a divvy? Mentioned upthread...it’s in my head from primary school insults, is it also djsablist?

D*ivvy
*
"If you call someone a divvy, you are saying in a humorous way that you think they are rather foolish."

I’ve taken to looking up terms I am less familiar with in Urban Dictionary, which I find is pretty useful.

A divvy just means you're a bit of an idiot

I would not let my dc or dh call any other family members names. How is any name calling ok?

Not even mentioning that gimp is particularly horrible.

@frogswimming

I would not let my dc or dh call any other family members names. How is any name calling ok?

Not even mentioning that gimp is particularly horrible.

Quite. Those who are suggesting alternative names with with OP's partner should be putting down their son's self esteem are very wide of the mark.