Oh calling dc a

[Christmasobsessed]

I don’t really know if this is the right place to post,
Oh always calling dc a gimp
Ive told him time after time not to etc... I don’t know if im being precious or he’s in the wrong but ive had enough
What are peoples thoughts

He sounds like a horrible bully.

Maybe you should start addressing him as "moron" and see how he likes it.
Dishing up the dinner... "Here you go Billy, here you go Katie, here's yours Moron."
As he's going in the kitchen "Put the kettle on Moron."
"Morning Moron, I'm off to work, have a good day..."

When he objects, say he's being precious.

Gimp to me is very much a sexual term and completely inappropriate to say to an 8 year old

I wouldn't see a problem unless it was upsetting to DS.

I occasionally call mine a Nobhead, when he is being a Nobhead. But he finds it funny.

I used to get called things like Divvy, Flid, Wally, Mong, Bugger when I was little and being silly/playing around by various family members - all quite inappropriate and not exactly PC nowadays.

I have a memory of being heard using similar with friends at primary school and being told off - genuinely didn't know the bad meanings behind them, it was what my family members would call me in a fun way!

But it didn't bother me at the time being called those things. What's the context? Is this an angry name call or more playful?

This made me laugh thanks

Such mixed replies here...

Context would be for example if he spilled a drink, dropped something, left half his tea, mumbling!

@Sunseed

It is a bit of an odd word to choose. I don't much like it when my DH calls DS a nincompoop in response to him doing something cackhandedly.

Much rather a nincompoop than a gimp!
It's a horrible word, part sexual/part disablist - neither are good!

Does he say it out of anger or in jest?

How does your Ds seem after the event?

Tbh if you've asked him to stop and he's ignoring you you need to be having a conversation with him about it

I think if we expect our children to accept being called such things by their parents, what does that teach them to accept from other people?
There's enough unkindness in the world without having it from the people who are supposed to love us the most.

Don't be surprised when you get called into school because your son has used this word against someone else. Is your oh prepared to explain that it's learned behaviour from him? I know cases where this sort of thing has happened.

Why would it possibly be ok to regularly call his child any of these nasty names?

I have @Fecking2020 🤨he says oh shut up

Not anger or jest
More annoyance

What is this man like when he isn't calling your son disablist/sexual insults?

3 things:

No one deserves to be belittled and mocked - especially a child by their parent.

No parent deserves to be ignored, belittled and mocked by the other parent for requesting this to stop.

This is what bully’s do when called out - turn it on you - accusing you of being insensitive, over reacting or it was a “joke”.

I was picking my Ds up from after school club the other week and one of his friends came nearby to chat as I was waiting for Ds to get his wellies.

This dc said he was 'simple'. I said something along the lines of, "of course you're not simple". He said, "my mum says I am"....

Your dp needs to stop. It's not nice for your Ds to hear and he'll believe he is a 'gimp'

@Christmasobsessed

He is his dad He says in like saying stupid, moron, fool, dope etc... I don’t understand why post has been hidden

What horrible things to call a child. Does he say this to his face. If so it’s disgraceful. Is he totally trying to crush your child’s confidence and self esteem.

My FIL called our son a poof. My husband explained in no uncertain terms how unacceptable that was.

So he's doing it as a way of telling your son off for minor mistakes. That isn't OK and it needs to stop. What's worse is that he then gets angry with you when you ask him to stop it. I'd be seriously reconsidering the relationship if I were in your shoes.

I don't know what to say only what a terrible way to treat a child, your son must feel like he can't do anything right.

Spilling tea etc isn't a big deal, even if a child was extremely clumsy it still wouldn't be fair to berate insult and belittle them.

Your sons relationship with his father is being slowly eroded with every insult.
I say this as a adult who grew up being told I was a moron and stupid.

We teach kids to stand up to and report bullies but how can anyone do that when if they live with one

My understanding of gimp was pathetic masochistic submissive in latex suit and collar.

I hadn't heard of it as meaning either disabled or stupid.

And he calls him that when he's clumsy.

What a lovely guy.

I'm not in favour of domestic violence in either direction but if my kids father called my child that, I'd smack him around the head - hard.

And if he continued, I think the relationship wouldn't continue.

It's nasty, it's derogatory, it's inappropriate .... I'm open-mouthed at some if the replies on here do far tbh.

Your oh needs to learn that whatever toxic masculinity-related, derogatory, shitty manner and vocabulary he uses to interact with his mates/work colleagues/whoever is not appropriate for his home life.

If he chooses not to see that ...

@Christmasobsessed

These are excatly my own feelings but just wanted to make sure Always second guessing myself 🥺

What's your relationship like aside from this issue, OP? Second guessing yourself can be a sign that your partner is driving you quietly nuts with gaslighting, and I'm wondering if there's more going on here than just one mean name getting on your nerves.

Not acceptable. My family always referred to a Chinese takeaway meal as a 'chinky ' - with apologies for the offence. My DD thought nothing of this until she went to uni and used the term. Regardless of whether you think people are being too sensitive; don't teach your children terminology that will cause them problems in the future.

Your daughter didn't realise that was wrong till uni? Shit that's shocking

@Christmasobsessed

I have *@Fecking2020* 🤨he says oh shut up

You clearly have bigger problems.