Partner not contributing enough

[yourstruley]

My partner thinks I'm being completely unreasonable. So I could do with some advice.

My partner works full time and earns about 1600 a month.
I'm on UC and do not work, I've recently given birth to my 2nd DD.
We have been separated for quite a while and decided to give things another go.
My issue is he sends me 500 a month to help towards the house bills and the kids.
He says that the kids are already being supported via UC so they're set.
The bills come out of my account and I use my benefits to pay off the utilities etc.
Which totals up to 350.
Sometimes more due to being in debt.
However my issue is from his salary he only contributes 500 out of the month.

Am I being unreasonable?

It would seem from the conversation you have had with him that he's of the impression he's going to move back in, and you'll commit benefit fraud his statement of "The UC already pays for the kids, so they're set" clearly shows that.
You are going to find yourselves in a huge amount of trouble if you're reported.
If he's quibbling about money now, he's going to have to support you all on his wage, you may be eligible for working tax credits... Plus you'll have you're child benefit.
Are you absolutely sure you want to have this guy move in?
You seem to be doing OK without him, and your quibbles seem to be about finances. Finances which will be stretched tighter when you lose your UC.
Do not let him entice you into commiting benefit fraud.

If you're trying to make a new go of your relationship - and he's moving back in to do that, Then I think a frank conversation about finances is the first thing you need to resolve TBH. Of course the pair of you will now count as a joint household so benefits will be adjusted accordingly (and any council tax reduction you're currently getting as a single adult)
Start with the basics, list out all your expenses including any debt repayments you both have . Then add up any incomings including your new adjusted benefits. From there you can work out if there's any money left and also discuss who contributes how much. He needs to understand that it's now a joint household and finances, chores and everything else is now a shared responsibility.

Well this one is simple!

He wants to live there? Then all his wages and any benefits go into a single pot. Bills are paid first, then the rest split - hopefully savings, and equal amounts of small personal spends for you both.

He wants to live as a family with all the benefits that brings - his money is family money.

He wants to keep his wage like a single person - he moves out and supports himself as a single person. Oh sorry, unfortunately a single person who has two children he's responsible for, so take child maintenance out of that.

You're taking full responsibility for the children. You're BOTH equally 'working'.

If he can't or doesn't want to see that - he's not worth having around.

Then he goes back to wherever he came from and you meet on neutral territory to discuss EVERYTHING before he steps foot back inside your house.

He doesn't get to choose to only pay anything! He either is moving in to be an equal partner in your life or he isn't moving in at all!

Make that list, make him read it... his first response to it will probably tell you how he really feels about moving back in!

I feel like absolute Sh!t now.. I've already let him back in.
And groovinpenut you are correct, he has mentioned to me that I'll be receiving a lot more if we live separately on UC.
And he'd add the extra 500.
But I think he's just trying to save himself from the responsibilities of the house
I've already notified UC of him moving back.
But I feel like I'd suffer with out the money.
And I doubt he'd give me anything if I was not entitled to anything on UC.
I'd probably be better of not getting back together with him and receiving 560 of child maintenance I'm entitled too

Do, please get the money situation sorted before you have more children!

It comes down to one thing - do you want to be in a relationship with him? If you do, then together you tackle this. If you don't, then ask him to leave.

If you both make a go of it and he then doesn't pull his weight financially or as a parent, then you ask him to leave.

He's moved back in, sweet talked me.
And now I feel embarrassed that he'd have to leave again if he refuses.
He was living at his parents house whilst separated and probably saving up.

Your last post is correct.

You describe a shirker who doesn't want to pay fully for his lifestyle or contribute properly. Bet the housework and childcare will still stay fully your job, at the same time he's telling you that as you 'don't work' - he should be keeping most of 'his' wage.

Just tell him it's not going to work out and get him out.

It gets worse.

Tell him he's out unless his wage goes into the pot like a family.

Why would you be embarrassed? You tried. He didn't. The shame would be on him.

But have another conversation with him. Sit with the figures (including the name benefit amount now that he has moved in) and work out how together the bills get paid.

Family = family money.

His wage = his responsibility to house himself like the carefree single entity he is.

It sounds like you'd be better off not getting back together.
But I'd be surprised if you were entitled to £500 cms. Of course he can choose to pay that much, but I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't.

What was your plan for being on maternity leave whilst a single parent? Lots of women can't afford to take lots of time off for maternity leave - financially I could only take 18 weeks and had to go back to work full time?

If he’s not living with you £560 is very generous and this is a lot
More than normal ‘child Maintenance’ would be based of a salary of £1600 (I think it’s around 15% for 2 children.. )

If he is living with you then no it isn’t enough, as he’s seeing it as your UC pays the other bills but you won’t be getting that if he moves back in. Work out what you will be getting now, and tell him what you are down by and that he needs to replace it basically.

Just a thought though. If you split up, and he becomes nasty - I doubt you'll get the £500+ per month child maintenance. Given his take home pay is not very high, and if it went through the CMS you'll probably only get half of that if you're lucky.

So he gets to live in your home for just an additional £25 per week? No wonder he wants to move back in!

Time for him to move back to his parents.
Him moving in is more of a burden to you than not.
You'll have more work, less money, and no security of marriage.

I think you should just send him back to his mummy. He's not grown up enough yet to be living independently. I think it's pointless having a discussion like this with a grown man. He knows he has to pay his way, he just doesn't care and is happy for you to commit benefit fraud so he can sponge off you. What a catch!

I'd just tell him you've thought things through, and you need to establish things relationship wise before you commit to living together again.
With regards to the CM he's only got to pay 15% of his salary to support his children... So you won't be getting £500 a month. If he continues to pay the £500 a month it'll have to be declared to UC and they'll deduct it from your money they pay.
Sod embarrassment !!! You need to think of yourself and your kids. He's not moving in with a 'giving spirit' he's already established how things are going to be... As you stand now, you're independent, have your own money, and you're doing OK.
Get him gone, and put yourself and your kids first.

He needs to plug the gap fr9m UC - have you checked how much you will be down. Regardless he thinks it's fair to have £1100 'spending money' whilst you struggle?

He clearly thinks you are going to commit benefit fraud and risk prison in order to have his golden cock in your house. How else could what he is suggesting possibly work. You need to get rid of him asap and inform UC that he is no longer there.

Alternatively all money goes into a joint account, bills, rent, food, children costs etc get paid and what is left is split between you.

If he continues to pay the £500 a month it'll have to be declared to UC and they'll deduct it from your money they pay.

They don't deduct cms from your payment. They haven't done for at least 11 years.

He’s happy to let YOU fraudulently claim UC rather than pay his own way and provide for his kids.
Wtf he’s a real prince isn’t he?

YOU will be investigated sanctioned fined etc not HIM. Don’t risk it.

You have 2 choices get rid of him and get a CMS claim going or come clean with UC and he contributes fairly to his family and his own living costs.

They don't deduct CM no, but £500 is above the CM threshold.