Would this make you feel shitty

[feelingveryvenemousandangry]

I've had some worries the past couple of years that my husband doesn't fancy me anymore and is actually repulsed by me. I've asked so many times about this and he insists no I'm wrong he does fancy me and I'm imagining it whilst not having sex with me or giving any affection.
The latest example occurred today. I was lay in the bath and he walked in and just burst into laughter. I said lovely thanks for making me feel repulsive again he insists it was just the way I was lying
How would you feel about this ?

I wouldn't like it but I think your a little more sensitive to anything he says or does as you have it in your mind he doesn't fancy you anymore.

I would of splashed him but seriously I think if you not getting enough affection then it makes you more sensitive to his actions, he probably didn't mean anything by it. Have you spoken to him about it and the lack of affection?

I've spoken to him so many times over the last few years . I'm emotionally at my lowest right now

I'd be pissed off

I’d be very hurt.

Yes. That's not very nice especially given how you already feel and he knows it. I sent my partner a just out of the bath pregnancy belly photo, he said I looked like a yeti! 😂I actually laughed because I did but also because he's very tactile/affectionate we have an active sex life and he tells me many times a day how beautiful I am etc. If he was how your partner is I would have been really offended and quiet upset.

How long have you felt like this? Has he always been this way towards you?

Do you still fancy him?

@frozendaisy I do yes

What is his explanation for the lack of sex? That works fine for some relationships but, unless both parties are on board, if it goes on for too long, it has a devastating effect on the party who still wants sex. Unless there are tiny children in the mix, it’s usually a sign that the relationship has lost its way.

Or that one party in the relationship has lost their way.

That was deliberately cruel and hateful of him. Sorry OP that’s horrible for you - you deserve love and affection and for your partner to be your main ego boost.

Never laugh at anyone when they're naked, unless you're trying to upset them, I would say

That was really mean of it i’d be really upset. You should tell him

How nasty.

I would be hurt too, i would have to say something to him & tell him how he made me feel.

My ex used o do this to me, along with other stuff. And he never cared about how it made me feel, no matter how much I explained that it hurt me. I divorced his abusive ass. I think you should take a deeper look at your relationship. He isn't laughing with you in fun. He is doing it to hurt you, which is why he doesn't care that it does

Nasty piece of work. Have a laugh at him naked (especially the trouser department) it will probably hit a nerve too.

This is very hurtful and he then went on to minimise his words. I think you are right to feel upset. I would take a deeper look at the state of your relationship between you. This may be difficult and you might be trying to hide from the truth but it is better to know whether you actually have a loving marriage. It sounds like he looks at you with contempt that he is barely able to conceal. You deserve much more than that and to be with someone who loves you

I had an ex that would do stuff like that to me. If I danced to music, hummed a song, anything that an average person would find endearing he would either groan, say “ewwww” or tell me not to ever let him see me do that again...was very hurtful as he never complimented me or was loving or affectionate so it just destroyed my self esteem and any type of love I felt for him deteriorated over time.

How funnily can you lie in a bath to provoke such laughter??

He’s rude and cold. Yes I’d be upset. Especially with this going on so long. He needs to commit to getting counselling or else he really isn’t worth any more of your time and effort. You deserve much better.

He doesn’t sound like a nice person. If I were you I’d start getting into the mindset of the relationship ending. You don’t have to verbalise this, but work on your self esteem without his input. Go for walks on your own, develop interests away from him, things that make you happy. He’s not giving you any affection and his latest antic is just cruel and hurtful. Put yourself first and do what you want to do.

How long has it been like this OP, was he like this in the early years? X

Your home should be a place of love and safety, not somewhere you are made to feel like a piece of shit.

Whatever the difficulties with children/money, it cannot be worth being bullied in your own home.

Thanks I'm glad I'm not going crazy. He denied it was meant 'that way' and insists he loves me. I will be waiting a certain period of time for change or will be putting the house on the market

@feelingveryvenemousandangry how can you fancy someone that treats you so horribly 😓