‘You’re never allowed to leave me.’

[Paintedunicorn]

I just wanted opinions on whether or not it was normal to say the above to someone.
I’ve been married 16 years - actually I would quite like to have left at several times during that period but I don’t feel capable of doing so.
Dh has always said ‘you’re never allowed to leave me’ ‘promise on the dc lives you won’t keave me’ ‘you’ve got to stay with me forever.’ Puts his arms round me and says ‘this is the ring of steel.’

I know there’s no such thing as ‘allowed’ to leave someone but it makes me feel uncomfortable nevertheless.

[PicsInRed]

yeeeeeeee shudder

[OwlOne]

Realistically, when you do leave,you're going to 'escape' more than leave.

I had to do this because like your 'partner' he did not respect that I was a separate person with needs and rights. He saw me as a service to him.

Don't go digging in to the reasons why he is like this. Traumatised as a child, whatever, that's his responsibility to address or more likely, ignore so long as he can export all of his wounds outwards.

Your responsibility is to address why / how you got in to this situation and why/how you should get out of it.

Is there somewhere you can store passports, change of clothes?
I posted things home to my parents' house bit by bit.

[OwlOne]

Your responsibility is to address why / how you got in to this situation and why/how you should get out of it.

BUT you can address all of that later. First, sort out your life in a practical way.