Girl I like hung up on me, help!!!

[Matto13]

I met a beautiful girl 3 weeks ago in tinder and she added me on Instagram... We have been chatting every day so last week I decided to ask her out so I did and she said yes. As we're in lockdown she suggested to go for a drive through coffee as everything is closed. So Sunday I picked her up and we went for a coffee and chatted for 2 hours it was lovely.
After the date I dropped her off and when I got home I messaged her askwif she would like to see me again, she said yes so the next day Monday we made arrangements to meet this Friday for a nice walk.... We. Didn't speak much from then on really as she said she's been busy but Tuesday I decided to call her and she said her brother took an overdose of 20 tablets and was in hospital.. I offered to help and said I hope he's OK... In the evening I sent a voice note message as we seem to do that the most and she replied saying he's out of hospital and he discharged himself and she's keeping an eye on him at home.
So today I sent a few messages which she read and didn't reply so I called her and she seemed rude which I can understand and from the stress and she said she's on another call with her mate and she will call me back.
Me being stupid rang again after 30 mins and she buttoned me (hung up) I haven't tried to call or message since this morning so I'm Scared if I call she will do the same......what should I do I really like her she's honestly lovely but I don't want to be needy.
Should I send a voice note as a call may be rejected and a text message can be to much.... Im 37 she's 29....im gutted if she rejects me now

@Plumplumbadum

You're 37, and old enough to know you're bordering on harassing her. I'm pretty sure you've blown it with this woman. And you definitely will have if you contact her again. The ball is in her court now. Just wait for her to contact you.

This

She doesn't owe you anything. Leave her alone.

Bloody hell OP. I know its tough when you meet someone you like and it doesn't feel reciprocated but she's experiencing something really hard at the minute.

You need to try and feel some real empathy, as in, understand why you are not a priority. You need to leave her alone.

Your OP is all about you and wanting the company of this beautiful woman again. You don't sound that concerned for her as a human being going through something really ugly. Saying things about being there to help is not half as valuable as reading the room and backing off.

These very early stages are fragile. If I were her, your calling and repeatedly messaging when she asked you politely to leave it (by saying she was on another call) would have put me off by now.

She may come back to you, she may not. But please learn from this to be less needy and pushy. You should not have repeatedly contacted her. It wasn't appropriate from someone she had met once.

I know that sounds harsh but to be honest, I think you need to hear it. I for one am sick of meeting entitled and pushy men online.

Stop bloody phoning and hassling a woman whose sibling has just tried to commit suicide!

This isn't about you. Let her contact you when she has time, if she chooses to. Stop being needy, you've probably scared her off.

Not the responses you hoped for OP?

Leave her alone.

You're 37? You sound about 14.

Just leave her alone now. She'll contact you if she's interested.

This is not all about you. It's about her! Have some empathy. Think how much she has on her plate and what she's going through. Be kind.

Leave her alone

That's some tale of woe she's given you there OP. She's not interested.

Bloody hell! Dial down the bunny boiling!
She is going through something awful and you, someone she's known 5 minutes , are harassing her because you think she's being fucking rude?

Newsflash pal - this isn't about you and you aren't important right now!

Good grief. The ego!

3 weeks in, she has a family crisis and your response is to make it about you by constantly messaging and calling to see how to 'help'. If she wanted help she would ask you, as it is she is probably getting help from people she has known longer than 3 weeks. Leave her be.

Jeez dude. Try a role reversal, if she behaved this with you after one date youd be fucken shiting it. Its bunny boiler behaviour.

The correct thing to do would have been when she told you about her bro, tell her you are sorry to hear that and wish her all the best and 'when things are ok again, feel free to give me a shout'. Not even a need offer to help. You've had one date, you aren't suitable emotional support.

But the betting and calling again after that...ugh.
You made it all about you. She wasntbpissed off on your first call because of her situation, she was pissed off because you calling her was inappropriate.

Sorry op but you have to leave this well alone now.
And dont attempt an appology text either. Just back off.

Take it as a lesson learned in what not to do. Plenty more fish in the sea.

*but the texting and calling

She's not a girl , she's a 29 year old woman. You sound about 16 , leave her alone.

Do NOTHING. It would be the death of it maybe.

If she's interested she'll call you when she has dealt with the height of the family emergency.

Also she may have lied to you to get you to go away. Are you usually this persistent? It’s not an attractive trait.

Move on, she’s just not that into you.

T h i r t y - s e v e n ?

There’s a fine line isn’t there, probably best to have not called her back after 30 minutes but it’s done now, I’d leave her a few days and wait for her to get back to you, if Friday rolls around when you should be meeting again and she hasn’t got in contact then there’s your answer I’m afraid

Looking after someone who has just overdosed is a full time job, on top of that you go through the full range of emotions yourself, guilt you didn't spot the signs, anger, sadness, fear. It's a really difficult time for everyone involved. She didn't want to leave her brother to himself to talk to you and I think she made that clear after she ignored you the first time. The damage is done and you now need to move on and learn from this.

I would be actually scared of you by now if I was her.

@allthewaterinthetap

I would be actually scared of you by now if I was her.

Me too, I'd be really unsettled and worried about why you weren't stopping hassling me. Can't believe you're nearly 40 OP!

OP, you are being a bit needy (and slightly childish) but your post in no way warrants the rather hateful responses you've been getting. I am sending you this, as the double standards on MN today are just hilarious. No way would you have met with such a barrage if you were a woman, or rather, if PPs didn't infer you were a man.
As for your love interest, she might have fed you a line with that overdose stuff, or at the very least she doesn't like you. Any decent person would have sent you a quick message saying that they couldn't meet after all, not left you in the lurch like that. So, yes, move on as quick as you can is the advice.

Have you ever looked after someone after they have made a suicide attempt MidnightColours? I have and it really takes a lot of emotional energy, you don't want to take your eyes off them for a second. His texts may have been interupting extremely important conversations. OP knew what was going on and knew she was busy, of course she was prioritising herself and her brother over a needy bloke she's just met.

I agree with MidnightColours, the responses on here have been unnecessarily harsh. My advice would be leave the ball in her court and don't contact her again. If she is interested she will get in touch. Hope things work out for you.