I’m sinking and nobody to turn to

[BearandaSpare]

This has been the worst year of my life, nothing to do with COVID. So much has happened and it’s left me completely broken, I’m struggling to get through every day and as the year goes on it just gets harder. I’m alone too much with nothing to fill the time other than thinking how badly I’ve messed up, I cry all the time and am so sick of fighting and trying to be positive. I’ve got no hope for a happy future and I can’t even turn to friends and family as everyone has their own problems thanks to this fucking virus.

Vent on here. What is making you so down? Are you ok?

Have you tried counselling?? I have had a shit year (more like 2 years now) amd hit rock bottom back in September. I started counseling and it has helped a lot. I found the long evening very hard so started doing online exercises classes and it has really helped.

Talk to us OP, your problems are out problems

*our problems

I’m alone too much with nothing to fill the time other than thinking how badly I’ve messed up,
Okay, assuming you have badly messed up (as many of us do at some point) what is the point of thinking about it? Is there anything you can do to put it right? If so, do it. If there is nothing you can do to put things right then you need to forgive yourself so you can move forward. It is not the end of the world.

What kind of things did you do before covid?

I’ve got no hope for a happy future
Come on, I'm sure you know that is self-pitying nonsense. Hope springs eternal

abd I can’t even turn to friends and family as everyone has their own problems thanks to this fucking virus.
If any of your friends and family came to you right now with their problems, what would you do? Would you not want to know because you have your own problems or would you try to help them? If you would help then please turn to them now because they will probably want to help you.
.

I can offer no help, only understanding of this as I feel the same, hugs x

I hear you OP. It feels like a long slog right now. At least when the restrictions had lifted it was possible to go to the gym at least! Try signing up for some online activities

I feel the same op. My mental health has never been worse. Lots of friendships have fallen apart and worst of all there have been serious health issues within my immediate family. It's shit. We are here to listen and support you x

Same here..sending support.

We’ve got you op!
How are you feeling?

Sorry I know I sound completely self-pitying and I know friends/family would help if they could but there's nothing they can do and it's shit for everyone just now.

I'm just lonely and sad and struggling to get my head round stuff that has happened which has unfortunately all come at once this year - great timing. In normal circumstances I could maybe cope better and there'd be distractions but it's just all too much at the moment.

I'm sorry those of you are feeling low too :(

OP, do you live alone? If so, do you think this is making life worse?
There are more people than ever on Mumsnet, venting due to loneliness and uncertainty, but there are also some of us who wished that they lived alone, as family members and partners are no support whatsoever, in fact they are more of a hindrance.
I am not a techie, still using CDs, but whatever music you like, stream this in your home wherever possible, and try having the radio debates etc on, so you have some background noise. These days seem endless, but will end eventually, and hopefully we will be back to parties, etc to lift our spirits. Keep on keeping on

What carraterra said - hope you’re alright OP

If you're feeling really low, please speak with the Samaritans.

If you've been through some traumatic or upsetting events, have you had any support, like counselling? I know it's suboptimal, but you might be able to get telephone/online sessions?

How are you today OP?

I live with my older teen daughter but she’s rarely here - her growing up and in effect leaving home was obviously always going to happen but it’s one of the things I’ve struggled with this year and it’s harder to cope with being alone at the moment.

I have looked into counselling but it feels a bit self indulgent, I don’t know why I can’t sort myself out - it’s been one thing on top of another this year but people have had it a lot worse.

I don’t really know what to do, I’m tired of trying to be positive and keeping going, I just feel like giving up. Other than my daughter I don’t feel there’s much point to life any more but she’ll always need me so I have to stick around.

Thank you for taking the time to ask x

Sorry to hear this OP. Can your explain what’s happened, why you feel you’ve messed up? We might be able to help.

Huge hugs OP.
Please don't think counselling is an indulgence, it's not. If you had a physical illness then I'm sure you wouldn't think that going to the doctor would be self indulgent? Well it's just the same thing, really I'm about to start some online sessions - not ideal but better then struggling alone. It feels positive to have taken action and I haven't even started yet.
Also you don't need to compare yourself to others, if you are struggling, you are struggling.

💐

It just sounds trivial compared to what people have gone through but it feels like everything has come at once this year.

My divorce finally came through which has affected me more than I expected. I've got so many regrets about marrying the wrong person and resentment for the stuff in my life that led to it. As my daughter gets older I'm terrified of making more mistakes and screwing her up as badly as I am - she's one of the only good things in my life and I'm finding her growing up and away from me really hard even while I'm happy for her.

And then I got my heart broken and it's destroyed me, I never knew anything could hurt this much. How can someone who's loved you treat you so badly and then just walk away? Did all the things we said and shared mean nothing? I don't understand what went wrong and I miss him every day, I don't even know if he's OK and he clearly doesn't care if I am.

I'll never be able to trust again but the thought of being alone makes me so sad - the past months have shown me what it's like and I hate it. Night after night sitting here on my own hoping someone (mostly him) will text or call, nobody to share stuff with, nobody to give me a hug or care if I'm OK. My friends and family have been great but what can anyone really do? And they all have someone there, I have literally never felt so alone.

OP, I'm off to work in a few mins, but just wanted to check in to see how you're feeling? Are you eating ok, or is your appetite sapped too? I would make your favourite meal & put some of your favourite music on. sending hugs

It's a lot, op.

It's not self indulgent to get some support. You might benefit from anti-depressants in the short term. Don't struggle on thinking you should be able to get through it on your own, it makes it harder and slower and the hole you're in gets deeper to dig yourself out of. Take help.

What @category12 said, 100%.
Divorce is traumatic. It can be the right thing and break your heart at the same time. It sounds like you have a lot to work through and you thoroughly deserve some help with that

Gosh op it is so not self indulgent. You're a human being, we aren't meant to go through things alone, we are meant to have folk walking alongside us. That is what a counselor does. Once upon a time it was a priest or a wise woman who did that for us, nowadays you get a counselor. It isnt self indulgent, its survival.

Do it for your dd. Lead by example, wouldn't you want her to talk to a counselor if she were feeling low? You have been through so much and on top of that, a major transition from a mum of a child to a mum of an adult. That is huge.

And talk to us here. Mn is always able to listen. Xxxx

I know I need to do it for her but I’ve got no motivation to make myself. I finished work tonight and got straight into bed - I can’t be bothered to cook for only me and I just want to hide under the covers and not come out.