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To feel uncomfortable about this ex dynamic?

1 reply

MackenzieT · 16/11/2020 10:35

Fully prepared to be told I'm being U and jealous/controlling here by the way...Will take it on the chin and sort my s**t out.

My DP of 1 year is still really good friends with his immediate ex, and still living in her property that they were going to share together. They still text regularly and recently she threw a wobbler about him 'moving me in' when in fact I was just visiting. She has form for being controlling - his friends were worried about him when they were dating - but he wants to keep the friendship because they still care about each other, and I'm not about to tell my bf they can't be friends with someone just because I dislike them. I am really uncomfortable with the dynamic though and I have brought this up a few times. He says there is nothing romantic on either side now and due to the circumstances of their break up I do believe that, but is it weird to feel like there aren't enough boundaries in this from his side? She basically can hold over him the whole time that he lives in her place? Why throw a fit about me 'moving in' if she's totally fine with everything? I've accidentally (genuinely, looking for the time) seen messages on his phone from her that were quite cute and the kind of thing you'd say to someone you were still really connected to - I constantly feel like there are three people in this and it's making me paranoid and not the person I want to be in a relationship. I have to take ownership of my own insecurities though and am ok with being told I'm U and should give him a break.

How would you feel?

FionaMumsnet · 21/11/2020 14:52

We're just going to move this one over to relationships Flowers

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