Is he a prick?

[Peakyblinder101]

Hello ladies

I have had about 6/7 dates with a guy, going well however I have felt the conversation has not been flowing and not really suited to one another, however I hadn’t thought too deeply in to it to be honest and saw it as lets just see how it goes. It seems he agreed after the last date last night he has messaged me today, I stayed over last night and he had bought food for us to eat last night etc. Now he initially messaged saying I’m sorry I don’t see it going anywhere because of the age difference (I am 25 he is 33) and he is sorry. I replied nicely saying don’t be sorry I agree but not in terms of age more in terms of personality and felt that ended it all nicely. No harm done.

He then replied a while later saying it has left a ‘sour taste’ for him as I had not thanked him for the money he has spent and he felt it would have been nice for me to thank him. I apologised he felt that way and said I had offered to transfer, which I have done after each bit of money he has spent including this morning to which he always says don't be silly and it’s only ‘such and such’.

Now I am going to transfer money to him but I just feel it is quite spiteful to tell me all along it is no issue with money, and he has been happy to pay and shut me down when I have offered, to now throw it back at me. When he has discussed people he has dated before he has talked a lot about the amount of money he spent on them and thy don’t offer, so at those points I always said oh I have never meant that I would rather split, for him to again say no its not you I mean etc this is small amounts. Bare in mind a lot of our dates have been at home so ifs home cooked food and shop drinks so not massively expensive, but like I say I assure you I have offered buf he declines.

It’s left me feeling like I sant to message him saying I have transferred so the money is in your account, but point out I had offered before so to be honest I do not appreciate him messaging me as if I used him like that when he knows fine well I did.

The money is about £30-40 worth for context.

FYI I also feel the reason he ended it is he saw self hark scars on a part of my body he never spotted before, he noticed this morning and immediately made me uncomfortable with his response so I explained I had been been young (13) when done and I regret it, but his attitude changed straight away.

Do not give this twat any money! You offered at the time and he refused. Block, forget, and move on - there are more non-twatty fish in the sea op

I guess if you've said you'll send it then send it. I'd title it 'f*ck off money' in they payment screen though so it looks as if you are saying 'worth it to get rid of you' to him xD and then block him.

Tbf 40 quid is a cheap lesson on how to spot nasty bastards. Could have been a lot worse if he had showed his colours down the line. Absolutely keep him blocked.

then replied a while later saying it has left a ‘sour taste’ for him as I had not thanked him for the money he has spent and he felt it would have been nice for me to thank him

He would have been filed under petty cunt silently blocked after that.

Don't send it.

@category12

You weren't sufficiently distraught by him dumping you. so he's demanding money to get a reaction. Just block him.

This. 🚩🚩🚩

He saw the scars and thought he'd found a vulnerability to exploit in order to traumatically bind you closer and get psychological control over you. If it was really the scars he was concerned about, he'd end it without then bickering over £30, eh?

Don't get further involved with this one. Block.

I wouldn't send him money either. If you do though absolutely write something in the description. I like this

I'd title it 'fck off money' in they payment screen*

Or "tight bastard"
"Money for beans"

Make the amount something odd like £4.99

I notice that he made a point of not eating the stuff you paid for!

I'm a bit puzzled as to why you stayed over if you felt you "weren't really suited to one another".

Sorry I keep trying to directly quote people but not working! But in answer to why I stayed over, I suppose I felt we did get on initially so agreed to stay over then. This then continued I guess as lockdown happened so little other choice, but then very small things like the meal thing happened, but I just thought lets see how it pans out. I had a feeling that yes perhaps one more date to see, but most likely would end it then if I carried on feeling that way. I guess I felt there was no harm in giving it a chance.

Not eating the food you prepared is often a huge red flag of controlling behaviour. I had an abusive ex who tried to undermine me by not eating what I cooked, despite being a very good cook and everyone else loving my food.

Reimburse 40p instead of £40 !

I third the food thing. Not exactly the same experience but

... Early dating and I gave him some scones as I had made extra and a week later they were still in his fridge. Such a little thing on its own but -someone who cares about your feeling wouldn't want you to feel hurt so would have eaten them or thrown them out before you noticed.

Later turned out he was a covert narcissist. Completely no empathy whatsoever.

They reject and belittle kindness because they want you to feel 'not good enough'.

Please don't send this nasty little man money, OP. Please don't! You don't owe him anything

#tenredthings

I LOVE this idea.

Do it op!!!

@tenredthings love this! Please do this OP

You just hurt his ego by not being heartbroken. Don't send him any money, he didn't want it at the time and he know the age difference then.

You’ve dodged a bullet

He's discarded you (the age thing I'd nonsense as most men in their thirties would be delighted to have a woman in her twenties) and wants you to pay him for it?

OP You gave really low, self esteem meekly agreeing to this. It's farcical. Block him and stay away from him. He's a negger. Google it.

You're obviously well rid of that one. However I'd be tempted to point out what you have spent on cooking for him and ask him when he's going to thank you for that.