Is he a prick?

[Peakyblinder101]

Hello ladies

I have had about 6/7 dates with a guy, going well however I have felt the conversation has not been flowing and not really suited to one another, however I hadn’t thought too deeply in to it to be honest and saw it as lets just see how it goes. It seems he agreed after the last date last night he has messaged me today, I stayed over last night and he had bought food for us to eat last night etc. Now he initially messaged saying I’m sorry I don’t see it going anywhere because of the age difference (I am 25 he is 33) and he is sorry. I replied nicely saying don’t be sorry I agree but not in terms of age more in terms of personality and felt that ended it all nicely. No harm done.

He then replied a while later saying it has left a ‘sour taste’ for him as I had not thanked him for the money he has spent and he felt it would have been nice for me to thank him. I apologised he felt that way and said I had offered to transfer, which I have done after each bit of money he has spent including this morning to which he always says don't be silly and it’s only ‘such and such’.

Now I am going to transfer money to him but I just feel it is quite spiteful to tell me all along it is no issue with money, and he has been happy to pay and shut me down when I have offered, to now throw it back at me. When he has discussed people he has dated before he has talked a lot about the amount of money he spent on them and thy don’t offer, so at those points I always said oh I have never meant that I would rather split, for him to again say no its not you I mean etc this is small amounts. Bare in mind a lot of our dates have been at home so ifs home cooked food and shop drinks so not massively expensive, but like I say I assure you I have offered buf he declines.

It’s left me feeling like I sant to message him saying I have transferred so the money is in your account, but point out I had offered before so to be honest I do not appreciate him messaging me as if I used him like that when he knows fine well I did.

The money is about £30-40 worth for context.

FYI I also feel the reason he ended it is he saw self hark scars on a part of my body he never spotted before, he noticed this morning and immediately made me uncomfortable with his response so I explained I had been been young (13) when done and I regret it, but his attitude changed straight away.

Block him and go spend £40 on something lovely for yourself. Being judgemental about scars? He sounds really HORRID. Talking about money he spent on exes? God help any woman who has his baby and has to rely on him for 5 minutes. Ugh.

@Aquamarine1029

Fuck that guy and don't even think about sending him money. What a little prick he is. Block and forget.

Yup

It reads to me like he was a nasty player from the start. Resentful of spending money on you (keeping tabs on the cost) and insulting you about your scars. Then finishing with you. Then not being happy that it was mutual so he now wants to punish you by making you pay for the dates. Don't pay, because you don't owe. He can't just move the goalposts at whim. You have dodged a bullet here.

Asking for the money etc is a prick move. But I think he gave a nice polite bland reason for not continuing and OP should have agreed and left it at that. Instead she added what could be seen as a vindictive insult by being personality into it. His reaction is way OTT, but I see bringing personality into was a bit of a dig by the OP for him dumping first.

Oh my goodness, he’s patronizing, cheap, superior and so grubby he makes my skin crawl! You have avoided a wrong ‘un!!! Don’t transfer the money, just block him! He’s an abusive creep!!!

Normally I like to be straight regarding money mmmateys matters so I am not in debt BUT you owe this guy nothing, what a waner. His ego is bruised and he's asking for a refund on his dates! You could either buy something for yourself as compensation for having to have spent time with this twt or send the money back and think of it as money well spent on taking the garbage out.

He's pissed off you weren't upset.

There's nothing to indicate the OP was vindictive by mentioning personality, she might not have even used that word but simply said we like different things etc, even if you say we have different personalities it's not insulting it just means you are not compatible, and given how it played out she was right!

He gave you a factual reason for not continuing (the age difference - although that doesn't sound particularly valid to me, so maybe he was trying to be kind and not say the real reason), whereas you basically said you didn't like him. I can't blame him for being upset. But agree his reaction is inappropriate. He should have more self respect and dignity. You don't owe him anything.

Eugh! Meanie! I can’t stand mean people! Sounds like a twat!

I'm glad you said your view on why it wasn't working out.
He didn't like that tho.

Tough shit.

Don't transfer any money and block him.
Prick

Transfer the money, block, move on.

He sounds like he wanted you to be upset, then got annoyed when you weren't. But who knows!

Just move on.

Omg! Block him. Total prick. You deserve better, dont look back.

Covid or not covid...home dates are not dates in my opinion. You can go for walks, id prefer that than a man sleeping over after 6/7 dates. He is a cheap arse

He's obviously got his own issues with money and who he considers deserving of it and who isn't. It's not your problem - don't reply, apologise or explain yourself. Just block and move on.

I would not be transferring him any money.

This man is a prick of the first order.

Do block and delete him.

Yes he's just cross at your comment, and annoyed you're not upset that he ended things. Try not to give him any more headspace. I agree with the poster who said soend the money on something nice for yourself instead

Oh my god what a prick
Do not transfer him money
Block and move on!

Block

Delete

Do not send money

You do not go out with someone, bin them and ask for your money back.
What a sad little fucker.
You've had a lucky escape.
Do not respond.
Block.
And most of all do not feel guilty.

Agree with pp that you were supposed to respond to the ‘it’s not working’ text by begging him to reconsider. These blokes all seem to have read the same book on negging. And if old scars put him off, consider him not just an asshat, but an immature asshat.

He must be joking?

You owe him nothing. Block him and stop talking to that prick.

His message doesn’t require a response really, I’d just delete the number and chat, and move on. Blocking seems extreme, and shows him he’s got to you.

Re the money, you consistently offered, he consistently refused, he can’t rewrite the deal now. I’d consider donating £30 to my local hospice to draw a line under it in my mind.

While not necessarily a total prick, this man has ‘nice guy’ syndrome and could possibly be a misogynist. His reaction to your scars suggests he had put you on a pedestal and when you fell off it (by showing your ‘realness’) he wanted his money back.

Whatever. He’s history.

Do not give him any money. You will kick yourself repeatedly if you do.

Be thankful he revealed himself so early on

Actually I’m kind of with Sundance, he didn’t want to see you again, for whatever reason that actually was if he doesn’t he doesn’t, we say that on here to women all the time.

He gave you a soft kind “fake” probably reason about age to, in his mind, end things in a good way.

And you basically texted him back you had issues with his personality.

Yes he should at that point have taken it on the chin and not responded about money (hate all this transferring thing when dating anyway romance is dead!!). So on that score he was petty. But you kinda started the whole thing and were the prick. Sorry.