Heartbreak hotel

LostStars39 · 2020-11-06T23:15:02+00:00

I just wanted to start a thread as a bit of a support for people who have very recently got out of a relationship. Really sorry if someone has already done a similar thread but I’m struggling so much. Basically my Ex of 5 years broke up with me yesterday, he’d been distant for a while and he kept saying he felt depressed and no motivation and it wasn’t me. I finally had it out with him last night and he said he didn’t love me anymore. I’m absolutely heartbroken and devastated and just can’t see a way of ever getting through this :( anyone else need to vent?

WellQualifiedToRepresentTheLBC · 07/11/2020 03:50

Handhold for you OP, breakups are the pits.

emmetgirl · 07/11/2020 09:52

Handhold for you. I broke up with someone 4.5 years ago I'd been with for 5 years. It had been a bad relationship but I loved him so much. Devastated isn't a strong enough word to describe how I felt, it was terrible. I couldn't imagine ever feeling ok again. I knew I would eventually but it felt unbearable. It's so bloody cliched but in time you WILL feel ok again. It was nearly a year before I was fully over it. It was a slow process but I promise IT WILL GET BETTER.
I'm now so glad he broke up with me. I should thank him. My life is so much better without him.
It will be for you too xxx

Original poster

LostStars39 · 07/11/2020 13:01

@emmetgirl

Handhold for you. I broke up with someone 4.5 years ago I'd been with for 5 years. It had been a bad relationship but I loved him so much. Devastated isn't a strong enough word to describe how I felt, it was terrible. I couldn't imagine ever feeling ok again. I knew I would eventually but it felt unbearable. It's so bloody cliched but in time you WILL feel ok again. It was nearly a year before I was fully over it. It was a slow process but I promise IT WILL GET BETTER. I'm now so glad he broke up with me. I should thank him. My life is so much better without him. It will be for you too xxx

Thank you so much, I hope I feel the same eventually, I know it will take time but this pain is just unbearable at the moment. I’ve always been quite dependent on him which I’m kicking myself about now. Just can’t get out of bed and I hate myself for moping around :( Are you with someone else now? Do you still think about your ex much? X

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Yodasdog · 07/11/2020 13:04

Heartbroken here too.
It’s so frustrating as I know I am better off out of the relationship but god it hurts and feels like I will never move on.

ponia · 07/11/2020 13:29

I'm in the same situation - we were about to move to a new house in the suburbs and I was so excited. And then woke up one morning and he ended it. It's just hard because I miss my old life and the future I thought I was going to have. But it is slowly getting better a few weeks on - hope it will for you too x

emmetgirl · 07/11/2020 13:44

@LostStars39 yes I met someone just over a year after the relationship ended. He couldn't be more different from him. I do think about him occasionally but I don't really feel anything. I blocked him completely and removed his number from my phone. I had to. I don't know where he is or what he's doing and I don't want to know.
Don't expect too much from yourself too soon. You're grieving. You're experiencing a great loss and it will take time to recover. You'll probably take 2 steps forward and one step back but you'll be ok. I promise you will xxx

notsurewhattodo22 · 07/11/2020 15:47

Sorry for your split. My ex kind of finished it a month ago, also due to depression.

It's taken me about a month to feel okay again. I cried none stop for about 2 weeks....it really hurts x

notsurewhattodo22 · 07/11/2020 15:48

I just don't think I will meet anyone again Iike as much which is really hard to process. I feel like my one chance of happiness has been taken away before it properly started.

Woui · 07/11/2020 16:06

It really does get better. I'm 5 odd years post a 14 year relationship. Yes it hurt at first. Deeply, but time really is a great healer and now my life is better than ever.

Original poster

LostStars39 · 07/11/2020 17:28

@Yodasdog

Heartbroken here too. It’s so frustrating as I know I am better off out of the relationship but god it hurts and feels like I will never move on.

I’m so sorry, I totally understand what you’re going through. I know deep down that it’s for the best as he’s said he doesn’t love me anymore but I just can’t even think about moving on, and know that if he asked me back I’d take him back in a second 😢

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Original poster

LostStars39 · 07/11/2020 17:30

@ponia

I'm in the same situation - we were about to move to a new house in the suburbs and I was so excited. And then woke up one morning and he ended it. It's just hard because I miss my old life and the future I thought I was going to have. But it is slowly getting better a few weeks on - hope it will for you too x

I’m so glad it’s getting a bit better for you, it’s so hard to process with it being out of the blue. At least if there was months of arguing I would have seen it coming, take care x

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Original poster

LostStars39 · 07/11/2020 17:35

@notsurewhattodo22

Sorry for your split. My ex kind of finished it a month ago, also due to depression.

It's taken me about a month to feel okay again. I cried none stop for about 2 weeks....it really hurts x

Thank you so much! The frustrating thing is that i suffer from depression too and have done the whole time we’ve been together so why he couldn’t have talked to me about it is beyond me! I’m glad you’re slowly starting to feel okay again

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Original poster

LostStars39 · 07/11/2020 17:37

@Woui

It really does get better. I'm 5 odd years post a 14 year relationship. Yes it hurt at first. Deeply, but time really is a great healer and now my life is better than ever.

Trying so hard to just take it one day at a time but I don’t even want to without him which makes me feel so angry at myself!

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notsurewhattodo22 · 07/11/2020 17:48

Aw...me too re depression. I feel a bit of a fraud as it wasn't even a long relationship but I was / am still devastated. Doesn't help that he texts when he feels like it and I can't bring myself to block. Everything has to he on his terms, I can see what a selfish person he is but somehow doesn't make it easier!

What is everyone doing tonight? I'm kid free all weekend and it's so lonely 😪

Original poster

LostStars39 · 07/11/2020 18:03

It just makes everything 10 times worse having depression to deal with as well!
How long were you together? I don’t think it matters how long you’ve been together though the feelings were still there.

I haven’t blocked my ex as still have all the mortgage/house/bills to sort out which I’m absolutely dreading, but I can’t put my phone down checking when he was last online on social media and last on WhatsApp and if he’s messaged me which he hasn’t.

I’m not the most attractive person at all and he was so I’m terrified I won’t find anyone else (not that I want to at the moment!) I did want to have kids and now I’m just worried my time will run out

Tonight I’m at my parents lying on the sofa feeling sorry for myself!

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notsurewhattodo22 · 07/11/2020 18:36

Only a few months really! He didn't treat me great though.

I'm sure you are attractive and lovely, don't think that. How old are you? Sure there is lots of time for children x

LockdownLady1 · 07/11/2020 19:15

Hi guys,

I am sort of in this situation. Last lockdown was living with my boyfriend but he asked for us to live separately as he found it all too much. Then this lockdown he was meant to stay with me but made excuses and now we aren't and I literally have no one here but my dog and feel miserable and angry that he's chosen to be on his own at his - and yet still today went out with friends for a walk etc

Think we're heading to splitsville, but yes I also suffer with depression and really struggle being in isolation. Went to bed in the day today cos I was so miserable :(

Big hugs to all of you going through heartbreak, I think it's ok to feel sorry for yourself - it's such a crap time of year to be single let alone not able to go out and do anything!

Original poster

LostStars39 · 07/11/2020 20:19

@notsurewhattodo22

Only a few months really! He didn't treat me great though.

I'm sure you are attractive and lovely, don't think that. How old are you? Sure there is lots of time for children x

That’s shit, some men really are the worst!

Thank you, I’ve got a problem with my jaw which means I can’t close my mouth properly and I’ve got a massive underbite so I’m really not 😩 I’m 27 but just worried about getting over my ex, meeting someone new, getting married and then having kids, I just don’t think it’s going to happen 💔

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notsurewhattodo22 · 07/11/2020 20:36

You are only 27 ( 12 years younger than me) lots of time I promise. You sound like a lovely person too....no need to worry I promise x

To pp...I was in bed for about 2 weeks straight, crap isn't it!

Original poster

LostStars39 · 07/11/2020 20:37

@LockdownLady1

Hi guys,

I am sort of in this situation. Last lockdown was living with my boyfriend but he asked for us to live separately as he found it all too much. Then this lockdown he was meant to stay with me but made excuses and now we aren't and I literally have no one here but my dog and feel miserable and angry that he's chosen to be on his own at his - and yet still today went out with friends for a walk etc

Think we're heading to splitsville, but yes I also suffer with depression and really struggle being in isolation. Went to bed in the day today cos I was so miserable :(

Big hugs to all of you going through heartbreak, I think it's ok to feel sorry for yourself - it's such a crap time of year to be single let alone not able to go out and do anything!

Oh that’s awful I’m so sorry 😔 I’ve never really lived on my own before which I know sounds a bit pathetic but I’m dreading it! And that’s whether I can even afford to buy him out of the house and get a mortgage on my own 😩

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Original poster

LostStars39 · 07/11/2020 20:40

I hope so, I hate that about being a woman that you constantly feel like you’re on some sort of countdown!
I could have easily stayed in bed again but my mum dragged me out and made me go for a walk!

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Doingitaloneandproud · 07/11/2020 20:42

I'm sorry you're going through this, it's really awful. Remember to take care of yourself and eat too, me and my ex split up 6 months ago, I lost so much weight and was on the verge of having a proper problem with food before a picture snapped me out of it. It's just awful to go through, when you think you'll spend your life with someone and it changes.
You will meet someone else, I know it won't feel like it, there are days I still think of my ex and miss him, but I have met someone new. You will too, just allow yourself time x

ponia · 07/11/2020 21:01

ah lockdown has created such a strain for so many people. We went from having really active, independent lives to suddenly being across the table from each other all day with nothing to do but work! And yeah I do think that makes it so much worse - there is no way to distract yourself! Maybe some space this time round will help? x At least you have the dog (I know its not much but my cat has actually been great company to me!).

Original poster

LostStars39 · 07/11/2020 22:48

And now we go into another night of no sleeping and hoping I cry myself to sleep, but in reality I’ll just miss my ex and wish he lying next to me 💔

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ponia · 08/11/2020 02:39

It will get better in time. Try to focus on the nice things in life, although I know thats hard