Heartbreak hotel

[LostStars39]

I just wanted to start a thread as a bit of a support for people who have very recently got out of a relationship. Really sorry if someone has already done a similar thread but I’m struggling so much.

Basically my Ex of 5 years broke up with me yesterday, he’d been distant for a while and he kept saying he felt depressed and no motivation and it wasn’t me. I finally had it out with him last night and he said he didn’t love me anymore. I’m absolutely heartbroken and devastated and just can’t see a way of ever getting through this :( anyone else need to vent?

How are we all doing today?

Hiya! Pretty boring day here ( as normal)....I don't do much ☹

How are you?

boring day here too - I do usually try to do a lot of things but its so hard to do in lockdown! Gives you more time to think which is awful. Hope you are doing ok

Same here really! Trying to fight the urge to message him tonight, it’s always in the evenings that I want to. I so nearly sent him just “thanks for ruining my life” but then I deleted it, guess this is just my life from now on 🙃

Oh for f*cks sake I’ve just messaged him! So annoyed at myself

Heartbroken here too. I really hope you didn’t tell him he ruined your life!
I’ve surprised myself at how I haven’t text my ex at all, I’m over 40 days in and I’ve not sent one thing. Unfortunately neither has he, which has surprised me but that’s life. Try not to reach out to him again. If you want him back he needs to miss you, not have you at his beck and call. And if you keep reaching out the more you’ll push him away. You may also find if you go non contact maybe you won’t even want to text him anymore. Each day is easier for me anyway, even though I still miss him.

ah its understandable, and its so weird to go from talking to someone every day for years to suddenly nothing. x

Sad but comforting to find this thread. I am still heartbroken and devastated at my ex ending our relationship days before we were due to go and stay with his parents for the first time. We had only been together for about a year, but had grown so close, he was kind and generous and loving and funny and being with him felt like home. He find it difficult ending it, cried while I couldn't even speak. I bear no ill will towards him, he couldn't help not falling in love with me and it wouldn't have been fair on me to carry on but I find it so difficult to go from him being a huge part of every day to him just being gone. Didn't eat for a week, lost half a stone.

I want to meet someone else, but they all pale in comparison. So here I am, waiting for time to do its thing. It already has a bit, I can function now and can hide it from other people when I need to. But it's still so painful.

So I didn’t tell him he’d ruined my life, but I did message him asking him to promise to me that there was no one else. He said 100% he swears on his life there isn’t and he could never put me through that. I do believe him but just finding it impossible to come to terms with it, I’ve been with him nearly a fifth of my life and now to go to never seeing him again it just terrifies me!

Same thing we've been together 5 years , he acts off with me he's said that to me aswell that he doesn't love me but then says that he does we're still together and I'm 36 weeks pregnant he's left me a lot throughout it then got back with me he'll say one thing then say another act mean then act nice I'm trying to work on our relationship but sometimes just feel like he doesn't care at all

He's cheated on me a lot too I'm 20 he's 24 been with him since I was 15 I love him more than anything he's my whole world and I've been trying for years litterally so hard but cannot and don't think will ever let go

I had an awful breaknup at the beginning of covid. It combined with a massive period of anxiety. 9 month later, i am good.

I used a break up app. And deleted everything. Treated it like a drug addiction. As hormones released by thinking of them work in the same way.

I thought i would go mad. But didn't! And here i am, happy now. The fantasy of what i thought the relationship was vs the reality has slowly played out and it will for you too

@iwwntchocolate oh I’m so sorry that sounds such a difficult situation especially with you being so heavily pregnant. Has he said he’s going to be around for you and the baby? X

@sofato5miles
So glad you’re doing better, what an awful time to break up at the beginning of lockdown!
What app did you use?
I keep going to start writing things down but I just don’t even have the motivation.
I feel like I’ve got nothing to look forward to and just feel so down :(

@LostStars39, oh how I feel your pain,

Myself and my ex split up June this year due to the pressure that covid bought, we were long distance seeing each other every weekend speaking for hours and hours daily and then I noticed the more hours he was working the less time he had for me, he took to covid rules to the full extreme which hurt so much that he didn’t to make the effort to go for a walk, he promised me “we” had this and he walked away

The last time I saw him was March, we’d been looking at houses about me making the move to his area. he was skiing in France when lockdown happened so I didn’t even have to option of packing up and driving to his house.

I did get a little beggy when the breakup happened so I pushed him so far away (don’t do this),

I miss him so much he’s still the first and last thing on my mind every day, this maybe sounds dramatic but it’s like going through grief, right now 5 months in am grieving for what our future should have been all the plans we made we never made happen,

I still have a cry sometime, it’s normally when am planning something and I realise am planning it for it for me and not us anymore.

You’ll get there, you will I promise it’s just going to be bloody hard babe

Its not dramatic, it totally is a grief for the plans you had! You have a life built up and then its just gone, it really is a mourning process.

I just can’t cope anymore, I literally see no point in my life anymore and just want him back. I hate him for making me feel like this!

You can do this, allow yourself to cry babe to be angry to be sad,

When my break up first happened I used the notes on my phone to write angry messages to him that I never sent I found it better than holding it in,

You were frightened yesterday but you still made it through, and you’ll be a little less frighten each day going forward x

I’ve messaged him asking for an explanation and he’s basically said he fell out of love with me and has made his mind up full stop. He’s not put it that bluntly and it just felt nice to message him even if it was about the break up!
I’m just missing him so much and just feel so broken and lonely. My parents are being amazing but I am missing my own space but then start to dread when I’ve got the house back as it’ll just be silence, emptiness and loneliness constantly.
I just don’t want to carry on anymore

How is everyone?
It’s day 12 for me and I just miss him so bloody much. He was my best friend as well as my partner and I just keep thinking of all our memories and just want them back, I just can’t imagine ever moving on from this

Oh OP I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this I was exactly in your position after my boyfriend of 5 years ended things and we’d just gotten a flat together. I genuinely couldn’t see a way of getting over it and spent so long moping about. 3 months have passed now and I am starting to heal and see things more clearly. Not messaging your ex is the hardest thing in the world at first - what helped me was hiding him (you don’t necessarily have to block) from all social media and messaging apps. That way you don’t have any reminders.
It sounds cliche but take some time for yourself, let yourself grieve, it’s a huge shock for you and you need to look after yourself. It’s hard during lockdown but throw yourself into something whether it’s a hobby or work or talking to friends. You’ve got this

I was you at the end of September, I'm still absolutely devastated. I have 2 small children I have to uproot their lives and find somehwere else to live, half of me thinks fuck. You and the other half would take him back in a heartbeat... Time has made it easier to stop crying everyday and now I only occasionally break down but it is by far one of the hardest things I've ever done and we're still living in the same house so I can't just run away and avoid all contact 😩
Massive hugs ❤️
Focus on what will make You feel better.. Get new hair, start something you wish you'd always done but never got round too x

@helpmeout45 what is it about the 5 years mark?! One of my friends boyfriend has just finished with her as well after 5 years!
I’ve archived his chat on WhatsApp but I keep clicking into it and sending the odd message which I hate myself for but he’s just completely closed himself off to me, he’s just shut down. It’s so hard to accept and I feel like if he messaged me I’d take him back in a heartbeat but I know he won’t.
I really miss him and just wish my life would go back to how it was

@mrssalvatore14 oh I’m so sorry, that sounds absolutely horrendous, I hope the housing situation gets sorted out ASAP so at least you’ve got that physical distance which will probably make it easier. Big hugs to you and the kids

this is completely how I feel. It feels so pathetic but if he messaged me tomorrow saying he was sorry and he wants to get back together I would do it. I miss my old life. Just trying to think of the flaws he had!