Anyone else's OH have problems with your side of the family?

[warmsummersday]

Hi everyone. I need some advice please.

My OH has a big problem with my family, he thinks my mum is a bad person. He hates get togethers and refuses to see them at weekends. It gets to me so much but he just doesn't care how much he hurts me.

I brought up xmas last weekend and he went mental and told me he wasn't going to my mum's and for me and the kids to go on our own. I got upset but have now decided to go on my own and he will come later. We haven't even mentioned it since.

We have now been invited to a family get together in a few weeks and my attitude towards it will be ' we have all been invited, I am taking the kids and you can decide if you want to come aswell.'

This has been going on for years now and I don't know what to do anymore. I can't talk to him as he just gets in a mood all day and wont talk to me.

Have the same with my dh and my dad, finally now after years and years they tolerate each other but there is no love lost and dh will only do the family stuff at a push
He does it for my sake but to be really honest it is actually easier when he is not there as I am not always on edge witing for one of them to make a comment that will offend the other

No my mum isn't a bad person, he has just made it into a big issue now.

OH wont even do it for me which makes me sad as I do loads for him eg, have dinner with his mum and dad once a week!

he sounds like an arse
he should be able to put up with it every once in awhile for your sake
that is what loving someone is all about
he needs to grow up
it isn't teaching your children much either and sound horrid for you

Would it be tense with an atmosphere if he did though? If so it might make it even worse for you. Although if he would just make the effort occasionally it sounds like that's all you want.

I don't understand he must have given you some kind of reason for hating your mother this much!!?

Is it that he just does not like going to parties and would much rather just stay at home?

In my opinion he should be ashamed that he does not want to spend Christmas with you and the children. That, I think would have been a more appropriate suggestion for him to have made instead of you and the children going to your mum's. Again I don't understand, something not right here.

Did I say something wrong?